Six Boys & Me

Teenagers...

2011-12-01T10:32:00.001-08:00

I am getting accustomed to life with a teen. We have all the normal things going on. Constant eating, a zit, a smell that would rival the smelliest thing ever, being able to visibly see the growth in him (especially his feet), eye rolling, arguing...you know teenagers. When his friends come they eat like it is their last meal and hot dogs, pizza and ice cream go in and out of here like you wouldn't believe! I am accustomed to feeding his friends, they are welcome here. We have made it clear that we want him to feel comfortable inviting whomever to our home and we will make them feel welcome. He tested that by his choice of "friends" yesterday. As previously mentioned my son loves politics (vote for him in 2036) and he is very actively involved. He is a big supporter of Cherilyn Eager ever since she ran for senator. This year she is running for congress and Kyle invited her to come to Sevier county and she consented. He has been so excited preparing for her coming. Two nights ago we found that would include having her come here for dinner...umm...hot dogs and Doritos prospective congresswoman? After some conversation we banished our children, sans Kyle of course, to grandma's for dinner. I borrowed a table cloth and cloth napkins from my neighbor, heaven knows I don't own things like that! Anyway long story short it was a success. She, of course, was lovely and gracious and Kyle and her had a fantastic political chat including her asking him to be the county coordinator for her campaign...teenagers, next time you openly tell your kids to invite whomever they want you might want to think about what that might mean!

13 Amazing Years

2011-10-20T12:54:00.000-07:00

13 years and where has the time gone! You showed up and changed everything, most of the time I have had no idea what I am doing, but boy have I loved figuring it out with you. So here it is, and though you will roll your eyes (careful they might get stuck that way), a tribute to my son a week after his 13th birthday...You were so tiny when you were born and grandma nicknamed you "bird lips" I called you "bugaboo" (for some reason you don't like that anymore). You fit right in dad's big hand pretty comfortably. You cried constantly (even when you were sleeping). You are passionate about EVERYTHING. When you were 6 you were dead set determined to be a composer (much to grandpa Friant's chagrin), but went on to become an amazing pianist and violinist often writing your own music. You have a strong sense of justice and fair play. When you were young this meant that if people got in your way "watch out!" For example a boy in our neighborhood was beating up on your cousin and so you stabbed him with a fork, fortunately as you grew older (about 8) you channeled that anger into government and then and there decided that you would become the president of the united states. You haven't wavered from that and now we have to silence the conversations about politics for our own sakes! You and I can really be two peas in a pod and our idea of a good time is a nice dinner and hours and hours and hours and...well, you get my point in a book store. This year you started high school at Williamsburg Academy and are tearing up the scene at this amazing school. You really surprised us though when you joined the basketball team, who would have thought that my little musician, politician, book worm would also become an athlete. When you were 7 you made a goal to get your Boy Scout eagle at 12, you were disappointed in yourself when you finished the project the weekend of your 13th birthday. You are happy and loud all of the time...you sing at the top of your lungs (that goes for yelling as well), you adore BYU and look forward to being a student there and graduating from law school there. Just this year you got taller than your old mom (which let's face it isn't a big deal), but by taller I mean 4 inches taller. You now have bigger feet than your dad at a size 12, if you catch up with your feet you will be a giant! You know what is right and you live it with all of your heart. You are a gift from heaven and I am honored to be your mom. Happy 13 years my boy, I love you!

Forever Is Not Long Enough

2011-10-18T10:35:00.000-07:00

Warning: This e-mail will make you throw up if you are my 13 year old son or the kind of person who doesn't do mushy... There are lots of ways that I know that God loves me. He has blessed me so abundantly that I could start counting my blessings and continue on into infinity. However, there is something that He has done for me so magnificent that it makes me want to recite poetry...He gave me my husband. It's been nearly 20 years and everyday I love him more than the day before. Don't get me wrong we know how to fight like nobody's business, two passionate people sharing a life together means a little of that I am afraid. But, as time goes on we spend little time fighting and lots of time grossing our children out. He makes everyday worth getting up for and there is nothing we wouldn't do for each other.

We have some guests staying with us for a few days. Their names are Sparky and Sophie and they are our friends mules. They are "mowing" our field. The boys were "helping" Lyndon move the gates and keeping track of the mules when one of them got free. Our neighbors have horses and were out so all of us were standing perimeter calmly trying to get him returned safely. My neighbor who is your all time cowboy jumped on his horse with his lasso to help out. Lots of tries later the mule was still out and at this point kicking at our neighbor trying to get him to go away. He got behind a fence and we were a little concerned since he was out of the cul-de-sac. Lyndon got behind the fence and just stood there looking at the mule. Within a minute the mule walked toward him and let him get his rope. Smart mule. Even animals know when they are in good hands...sigh...forever is not long enough with this man. Though my husband would enjoy the lyrics to a Motley Crue song much more than the poem I am including below, I include it anyway since it has always touched me and seemed so true of our life time love. Sorry Kyle, feel free to commence throwing up now! Lyndon, I love you baby.

My True love hath my heart, and I have his,
By just exchange one for another given:
I hold his dear. and mine he cannot miss,
There never was a better bargain driven:
My true love hath my heart, and I have his.

His heart in me keeps him and me in one,
My heart in him his thoughts and senses guides:
He loves my heart, for once it was his own,
I cherish his because in me it bides:
My true love hath my heart, and I have his.
Sir Phillip Sydeny

Running Parable #3

2011-10-13T11:32:00.000-07:00

I have to tell you...running is pretty simple. I don't mean that in the "yes I easily ran 10 miles today" kind of simple. I mean in the throw on a pair of shoes and your all set kind of way. With that said. When I first started into running pretty seriously I found that I was having a major problem with my feet. Blisters, and pain were a constant and my socks were so bloody you would assume that I bought red ones instead of white ones. I couldn't figure it out and so I decided to take myself to the big city for a new pair of shoes. But, I decided that this time I would ask the experts. I went to this great running store in Provo where the salesman do their jobs to support their running habit and know exactly why your feet look that way. They even smile like they understand and they are proud of you at the same time. They listened to me, and then headed to the back room and came back with a tower of shoe boxes. Their counsel, "try every pair on all the way and then go running". So there I was running up and down this strip mall for an hour. That was kooky but the kookiest thing was when they suggested that I wear a size 9, ummm I wear a 6 and 1/2. They smiled and said, "trust us and if we are wrong bring them back". They seemed quite certain I would not be back. Anywho, long parable short, they were spot on. I haven't had a blister in 8 years no matter how many miles I have run. I have been through 6 pairs of the shoes they suggested and when the soles are literally falling off I buy a new pair.

The parable part starts now. Life, unlike running, is anything but simple. This world is tricky, scary and confusing. We could just be stuck here unaware of how to handle things, unaware of what to do. For me I feel deeply blessed to have the gospel in my life. The gospel is filled with direction and experts that counsel us in a way that makes the world seem a little more blister free. I am especially grateful that twice a year a prophet of God and many others meet to give us counsel and advice about how to handle everything that is placed before us. Like running, the goal in my life is to endure to the end, finish the race and to have all those I love with me at the finish line. This can be pretty hard to do in this crazy world we live in, but this gift from my Heavenly Father sure fits comfortably around my heart and helps me run this race with less pain.

Running Parable #2

2011-08-24T09:40:00.000-07:00

When I decided to run a marathon in my usual full disclosure kind of way I told everyone that I knew. I get so excited about things and I just assume that my enthusiasm is catching and so off I shot my mouth to anyone that would even pretend to listen. Imagine my shock and surprise when people did not react enthusiastically! I got lots of reactions and most of them could be chalked up to, "you are nuts, a total masochist, seriously what is the matter with you?" Completely shocked me! I have learned though that so often the things you feel inspired to do make no sense to the outside world...you are a nut....a complete lunatic, and people feel open to say whatever is on their minds if they think they are saving you from yourself. This has happened on so many things I have wanted to do! Adopt a child from Haiti, home school my children, get rid of TV channels, move out in the middle of nowhere...Well my enthusiasm isn't catching but I am maintaining it anyway! Sometimes you have to just get out there and run whether it seems crazy or not!

The Running Parable-#1

2011-07-28T15:46:00.000-07:00

Running is one way that I have spent many hours of my life. I started after I had my second child and became a fanatic after my third child. I am like the turtle, though I never win the race. Since I don't run fast I decided to run far and that has meant lots and lots of hours, usually just me and my IPOD and my mind that never turns off. Over the years I have come up with a lot of running parables and decided I better start keeping track of them before the lessons are all forgotten. In high school the worst torture I could imagine was that one LONG mile that we had to run for our fitness test. After about 2 yards I would get a cramp in my side and be certain that I was going to die any minute. After kid number 3 I got this brilliant idea to run a marathon and I began running following a schedule. I learned early on that cramp or no cramp I had miles to cover and that I had to keep running anyway. I learned something amazing, you can run with a side stitch, a broken toe, the flu, hundreds of mosquitoes attached to every part of you not covered by clothes, depressed, worried, ligaments ripped out in a knee, with a headache...you get the idea...No matter what you can run!

I think this particular lesson has been invaluable to me and boy am I using it right now! I have a cramp associated with parenting! I am tired, I have a headache, I feel broken down, I am certain that I should be doing better, I have a pile of laundry on the floor that I am afraid to tackle certain there is a monster hiding underneath it (we have been camping for a week), I am remembering what life is like with a a baby who is mobile and can and will get into everything (I spend much of my day fishing stuff out of his mouth so I don't have another child who needs to have a penny surgically removed from his throat, I have already had two), are you getting my point? Back in the old day this would be a signal to me that it's time to check out. With the help of my running parable I can see that now is the time to grit my teeth and dig in! I can parent even with all of these cramps in my side and hopefully, just like when I run after a few miles (sometimes as many as 10) it goes away and that runners high shows up, here's to the parenting high that I just know has got to be in there somewhere!

I've Lost My Mind, Have You Seen It?

2011-04-27T12:37:00.000-07:00

OK...we all have those moments when we are a bit absentminded or random or whatever, and then there are some of you who get to feel that way all of the time due to real life adult ADHD, but I have a new one for you. I think maybe I have developed this as an adult of 35...I have always been great at focus, not so great at thinking outside the box or fun, but focus yes. Now I find myself sort of aimlessly wandering from thing to thing never quite figuring out what I was doing in the first place...It's very strange and a bit unnerving. I can't for the life of me read a book and find myself reading the same line over and over and not having any idea what is going on. My friend suggested we take a little note of the things we want to talk with about to each other since we don't catch each other often, but I explained that I would have the thought, head for the paper and by the time I stopped to wipe up a spill, put on a band-aid, changed a load of laundry, unwrapped a popsicle, refereed a fight....I would have forgotten what it is I was thinking on the way to the paper...I stopped to find my train of thought so I could explain this more in detail to you, but lost my train of thought...I sure hope it comes back someday! In the spirit of the random thoughts here goes the wandering now...I am going to women's conference tomorrow with my mom and sister, can you say woo-hoo? Talk about spiritual feast, throw in the girls, laughter and a mint brownie and you have a recipe for perfection! My son Jamen is playing baseball this year and got pegged in the eye at bat last night...we are talking wicked cool black eye, his response, "I was just so glad I didn't strike out," boys are so cool. My son is playing this song for his piano recital and I could never tire of listening to it and love that he is playing it for an hour a day...listen to it, it's awesome! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMpDrjT0TUI I just finished read The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family...I loved it, I highly suggest it for all families. Well the mind appears to have gone blank again...so have a happy random kind of day. I have to wonder if now it will be possible for me to be fun or to think outside the box, that would be nice...wish me luck on that.

It's Getting Better Now

2011-03-17T12:17:00.000-07:00

In this high tech day and age you really get to know someone by what you hear when their phone starts ringing! I have been shocked and amazed at some of the ring tones I hear feeling like I am getting a glimpse of the soul of someone just from that little blip! You can really meet my husband when you hear his phone. It is a headbanging beat with the song "It's getting better now" by Tesla, a hard rock hair band from the 90s for all of you culturally more refined folks out there. You have to understand that this husband of mine is an engineer and deals in either black or white. He is scared to death of change and has a ritual for everything from the way he towel dries after a shower to how he makes his oatmeal in the morning. So this has been quite a year for this guy! He ended the summer with a new baby boy (#6) he started the holidays with a diagnosis of diabetes, and he is beginning the spring with a new job. This has been the most gut wrenching decision that he has ever had to make and after two great job offers he finally decided on becoming an engineer at Jones and Demille. I know that it will be great for him, because though he hates change he is an never ending optimist and truly does believe that "It's Getting Better Every Day."
While I should have been learning from him over the last 20 years it wasn't until I read the book "As A Man Thinketh" that the power of thought began to sink into me. I have done pretty well at doing the things that I "should" for awhile now. However to often my thoughts did not reflect my actions. Examples: I would make dinner for my family often times thinking "I live in this kitchen, they will whine about it anyway, what is the point? I almost always eat right and exercise 4-6 days a week but I always have the thought, "I am fat, always have been always will be." While doing laundry I always sing the theme song to "The Never Ending Story", I mean talk about a self fulfilling prophecy! OK on the last one with six sons there may be no hope to finishing it....But, I am beginning to see that I have really reaped what I have sown in the garden of my own mind and I am working to change that day by day. Here's to right thinking and to a beautiful year to go with it (let's face it, it may be that long before I post again!)

Check it Out

2011-01-31T06:10:00.000-08:00

If you look on the right of my blog you will see that Erin's esty store is on display there. May I suggest to each of you that you take a peek. Erin is my BFF and the most talented girl I know. She could make mud beautiful! You will love what she has done in creating jewelery, she even inspired me to buy some and I don't even like jewelery! Check it out!

You know your in trouble when...

2011-01-12T20:48:00.000-08:00

You begin to find profound symbolism in the shower...so I just got home from Zumba and I was taking a shower. My shower contains the same things most of yours do...shampoo, conditioner, soap, rescue heroes, dinosaurs, cups and a figurine of Maggie from Little People, you know the usual. I am rinsing off and I notice that Maggie (the only girl type person in all of the play items in the house) is face down in a cup of water. She is on the floor and the dinosaurs and the rescue heroes are looking down at her from the ledge. The dinosaurs are smiling and the rescue heroes look like they are in a conga line having a great time...doesn't anyone see that Maggie is face down in the water? I am afraid I feel a little like Maggie right now. I am just plain worn out from the winter blahs....I feel like a giant whiner baby for saying one word about it. I mean listen to my complaints and see if they could easily go on a list of things to be grateful for...First, my kids NEVER leave the house and while in the house they destroy every thing in sight. Second, my baby has been sick for a week and he coughs and pukes and doesn't sleep much at night. Third, my treadmill up and died on me when it is 20 degrees outside with a sheet of ice on the road, I have been running with the ice, but let's face it at my age I am liable to fall and break a hip. Fourth, it's dark when I get up to get the kids ready for school and Isaac is arguing about having to go to school in the middle of the night (let's face it the kid has a point) Fifth, my husband pointed out to me that I am a grumpy beast. This was a little disheartining since I feel like I have never worked harder to not show that I kind of want to punch everything in sight...What you want me to quit whining now...point well taken. I have everything to be thankful for. How many people wish for a house full of kids to clean up after, a baby to take care of, snotty or no, two legs that can run, and a husband to be put out with. So while I am perfectly aware that I have everything to be grateful for I find myself muttering, "Heavenly Father help me endure my blessings today..."

The Mother of All Ironies

2010-11-30T15:33:00.000-08:00

Lyndon and I have a handful of things that we just say to each other. At this point in our relationship we almost don't even need to say them because we just know they are coming. For instance when I make him mad (or vice versa) we say, "read my mind," which translated means "bite me", but we have 6 kids and don't want them to talk that way, hence the code words...we have lots of these. One of the ones that have been around forever goes like this...He says, "I love your butt" in which I reply "I love your pancreas". I know we are weird, sorry that's just how we are. Anyway the point of this post is that after all of these years of me telling him that I love his pancreas the darn thing up and quit working....that's right my hubby is a diabetic. A few days before Thanksgiving he listed off some really strange symptoms and since his brother has been diabetic since he was 14 he knew he needed to have it checked out. After a few doctor visits and a trip to the ER we seem to have figured out what is going on. He is a type 2 diabetic (this was hard for everyone to conceive because he is skinny and super active, but as for now the medication sans insulin is working pretty well). We have both responded in our typical way to respond to things. I am on about my 16th book trying to understand and he is getting the cliff notes version from me. He has a shelf in the fridge and a shelf in the cupboard. He will be annoyed that I posted this because he is a hush hush kind of guy. I have debated on this and here is the bottom line. If you love me you love him and I want you to put him in your thoughts and your prayers. I have been writing a post in my head for about a year titled, "10 reasons why you should marry a guy with ADHD", you can't believe the stuff the guy can accomplish in an hour, but at least for now that guy seems to be gone. He is tired, he hurts, and generally he is not himself. This is what I have found out in all of this. I LOVE taking care of him, he has always insisted that he take care of himself. I am honored to be his wife and while he doesn't love all this attention he is getting it anyway....even the boys stand in line to be the ones to poke him to check his glucose! Also as a side note, I have become obsessed with all things healthy! We really can't accomplish much when our health is crummy and after a year of pregnancy and recovering from a c-section, and this diabetes thing I am completely committed to making some necessary healthy changes in this house...I won't bore you with the details, but let me tell you I am on fire....

This One’s for the Girls

2010-10-30T10:43:00.000-07:00

A few posts ago I wrote about the Book Wild At Heart, in it we learn what makes a boy a boy. I am now reading the book titled Captivating which is the same authors about what makes a girl a girl. While I don’t agree with everything (like their take on Eve for instance), it has given me some food for thought. They suggest that women need three things: to be romanced, to have an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and a beauty to unveil. As I first began to read I thought that it didn’t really apply to me because I have never been a real “girly girl”. As a child I planned to be a fighter pilot in the air force (I think that was inspired by Top Gun)! However, as I read on I find that in all honesty I really, deeply want all of these things! So as I take a peek at my life I have to send kudos to the hubby for a life time (almost) of doing a pretty good job at romancing me. Last week he sent me 35 roses on my 35th birthday and visited with me while he took me for a surprise pedicure (my toes look smashing)….However with that said I have to admit the other two are kind of nagging at me. I mean don’t get me wrong I walk on the wild side all of the time. Just last week I put a pair of running socks on that are labeled for the right and left feet on the wrong feet and I seriously left them that way. And, just moments ago I poured myself a bowl of raisin bran and it was all flakes and I had to use my Macgyver instincts and rustle me up some raisins….Bottom line, I am having a hard time seeing my sock pairing, diaper changing, taxi driving life in the light of an adventure. Now there are some who would argue that raising 6 boys qualifies, but today I crave something big! As for the beauty thing, me, myself and I have fought about this since the beginning of time. I am about as captivating as the back of a macaroni and cheese box! So girls what do you think? Are these really the three needs that we have as women? I have to say that in those moments before I fall unconscious from a long day (if I’m not in the middle of beating myself up over what a terrible mother I am), my dreams tend to fall into these categories every time…an unexpected surprise date, riding on a moped from village to village in Haiti with my handsome husband curing disease (OK in this dream we have some medical skills), and being invited to a ball and looking beautiful (a little unrealistic here-hubby is 14 inches taller than me and neither one of us can even dance the hokey pokey)….What about you? Romance, shared adventure and beauty, are you feeling it? The picture is of Lyndon and I after we ran a New Years Eve Race together....for the full story go back to February 2008. That was romantic, a shared adventure and nothing makes me feel more beautiful than a hard run!

"I'm Not An Angel, I'm A Cowboy"

2010-10-19T10:20:00.000-07:00

Last night Micah was snuggled in dad's arms and dad says "your an angel" to which my three year old responds "I'm not an angel, I'm a cowboy!" I liked that. I think that is true of my life too....When I think of angel's I think clouds, all in white, quiet and harps. When I think of a cowboy I think of utility, dressed to get the job done, maybe a little electric guitar and much noisier! My life is noisy with the exception of this moment, which to tell you the truth is a little odd. So just a few things in random order....
First off my oldest baby (yes he is still my baby) turned 12 last week. He was ordained a deacon in the aaronic priesthood, rode his bike 50 miles to complete his cycling merit badge and the doctor confirmed that he is now exactly the same height as his mother. How I love this kid!
Second, Friant baby number 6 is two months old and we are crazy about him. He has a very strange schedule but he is just starting to smile at us so we don't care.
Third, we are now 2 months post baby and you know what that means, running is all a go again. Woohoo! I have been at it for around a month and a half and while I am certainly not breaking any records for speed I am doing it and that makes me happy! I am also hitting all the Zumba classes I can because that is a super good time. I am sure you would all like to join me. Heck, I can't imagine anything funnier than a middle age woman with 0 coordination jamming out to Britney Spears, come and just watch me make a fool of myself, you can get your workout by laughing! Here's my theory. You have three types at these classes...(1) Looks great, knows how to dance, should be in a rock video. (2) A little unsure so they go at it half hearted not wanting to make fools of themselves, barely breaks a sweat (3) No idea what they are doing, but there to work up a sweat and so they throw themselves into it anyway! I happily fit into category #3. I don't know what I am doing but I throw myself into it anyway and grin the whole time.
This by the way is my new motto on life: I have no idea what I am doing, but it's awesome so I am going to throw myself into it anyway and grin the whole time! COWBOY UP!

The Boy Becomes A Man

2010-09-13T08:14:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading a book called Wild at Heart. It's all about men and what they need to be men. I felt this was an important read for me since I am not a man, married to a man and raising six potential men. This read came at just the right time as I was confronted with a biggie this morning. In the book we are told that men need three things: A battle to fight, a beauty to rescue and an adventure to live. I have one boy who is working very hard on becoming a man and is doing a mighty fine job. Kyle will be 12 next month and he has done a lot of growing over the last year. Yes, I mean size wise (he wears a size 11 in men's shoes now), but I mean all the other ways as well. This summer he went with dad and the scouts on a week long 50 mile hike, he went with our county commissioner to the Utah Republican convention, he took on the project of mowing a sweet lady's lawn in our ward each week (and this isn't a city lawn...it's huge) and he has worked along side dad with all of the projects dad has had going this summer (and with Lyndon there is no half way). So back to this morning....My son woke up and informed me that he had one more thing to do to get his Star rank in scouting. He said he needed to hike 20 miles and that he would be doing that today. I immediately said no way and began to list all of the reasons why that was not a good idea (I would list them for you, but you are mom's you know what I am talking about). He calmly told me to check with dad, that this was all worked out. You know the movie Father of the Bride where she tells her dad she is getting married and he pictures this little 6 year old in pig tails? This is what I see sometimes with my big boy. I saw it this morning, a little freckle faced 6 year old who loves Power Rangers saying, "Mom I am hiking 20 miles today alone I should be home around dinner time." Lyndon keeps telling me that this is how a boy becomes a man and my greatest wish is that these boys become like that man so I need to trust him. I put gobs of sunscreen on him and plopped that hat on him that I bought for him when he was 6 (so big then, barely covered his head this time), and tried to act cool. He has the IPOD and was looking forward to a day of listening to Glen Beck's Book of Common Sense and conference talks. He will stop half way in Annabella and grandma will make him lunch and fuss over him and then he will come home. I feel myself wanting to give that lecture so many times given to me that used to make me so mad, "love them to pieces because before you know it they will be grown up and you will remember this as the best time of your life."

White Flag of Surrender

2010-09-09T08:21:00.001-07:00

We watched a movie the other night that was so strange that we had to keep watching just to see how it ended. At the end we looked at each other and said, "what?" It wasn't until the middle of the night in a quiet house that I got it and could see perfectly how it applied to my life. In the movie an 11 year old girl goes to the national spelling bee. Her dad has coached her for months but at the same time her mom is having her own little break down. At the end mom is in an institution because she is has been stealing little things to make modge podge decor to try and put the "pieces back together". The little girl is desperately trying to please her dad and at the same time trying to "save" her mom. In the end she is about to win and she purposely misspells a word that she knew. I was confused, she could have had it, why did she chose to lose on purpose? As soon as she looses, however her family is healed. That confused me. However at 3 in the morning with my sweet baby in my arms I got the point.

I have had in my mind a picture of what my home and family life should look like for a long time now. In that picture you would see a clean home, healthy meals and snacks, order and a place for everything. In that picture are one on one dates with the kids and the hubby, kind words spoken and voices that are never raised in anger. You would see mom and dad faithfully fulfilling their callings and doing their home and visiting teaching. I am huge into learning and so the kids would be at home learning and we would be reading voraciously for hours a day. I also believe in exercise so mom would be running and the kids would also have an active life. Mom would study, because mom loves to study and the kids wouldn't spend more than a small amount of time in front of the TV or computer. My food storage would be caught up and organized and I would be baking my own bread each day. Those are just a few of the things that I have seen in "my picture."

Last week I could clearly see that this little picture of mine was me being like that 11 year old girl. I was desperately trying to "spell" every word right and in the meantime those around me, myself included, were falling apart. I called my husband just sobbing, at work no less. Saying over and over, "I can't do it anymore!" Jamen and Isaac were homeschooling, but miserable and making everyone that lived here miserable right along with them. The sweet baby I was blessed with from heaven is a very needy baby and I was trying to hold him with one hand, correct math worksheets with the other and do laundry with my toes. It finally ocurred to me on the phone with hubby that it's true I can't do it and the bottom line is WE DON'T HAVE TOO!

So there I was choosing to misspell a word on purpose. Jamen and Isaac went back to school (two weeks late I might add) because they wanted to be there. I turned the laundry over to Kyle (it's not nearly as neatly folded or caught up as I want it to be), I quit nursing my baby (even though I know darn well it's better for him) because I have low milk supply and he was starving and cranky all of the time.

None of these things fit into "my picture" of the way things should be, but you know what? I am throwing the picture out. I am raising the white flag of surrender and turning my broken down self and family over to the Lord and doing the best with what I have got. Right now I have 6 sons who need mom to be gentle and happy more than they need to have a deep understanding of Charles Dickens. My husband needs a wife that doesn't greet him at the door in tears because she has marinated in those kids for so many hours that she just wants to run away. All of the things that have been in my picture are good things. I really meant well with every single thing. However, the Lord in his wisdom gave me 24 hours in a day and frankly with the life He has given me I can't do everything all of the time. You know I could probably do all of the things on that list, but the cost may be my sanity. The cost may be peace and harmony in our home in order to have the larundry folded perfectly and I don't want that. So for today three of my kids are in school and happy to be there. One of my kids is still home because he wants to be. He spent the morning reading Hamlet to his three year old brother, playing the violin and doing laundry. My darling baby is sleeping peacefully for the first time in days all filled up on formula and happy as can be....

Forrest Rex Friant

2010-08-14T11:47:00.000-07:00

He's Here! Just a quick announcement about the new addition. Forrest made his debut on Monday morning, August 9, 2010. The c-section went beautifully and he was perfect right from the start. He weighed 7 pounds 5 ounces and he was 20 1/2 inches. This is supposedly a big baby, but he must be built like a Friant because newborn clothes absolutely drown him! He is sweet natured and puts up with lots of kisses and being passed around a lot! The boys adore him. Micah always wants to "pet baby Forrest" and Jamen thinks he is so sweet "he just can't stand to be away from him." I am recovering well and am happy to report that other than a wierd seizure pre c-section and a couple of rough days post I am feeling so much better! Well baby is crying, off I go to hug and cuddle my miracle!

6,7,8,9,10

2010-07-31T17:41:00.000-07:00

We are busily preparing our home for our new arrival. I'm not sure why we feel we must deep clean every nook and cranny of our homes and organize like crazy people to bring a baby home, but for some reason we must. Now I have brought home a lot of new babies and never once has one of those babies said, "boy this place could use a good cleaning." However, I can't help myself, I can't stop cleaning. I am having so much fun in my head with the thought that my 6th son will be born at 7 AM on 8/9/10, I giggle every time I think of it and I think about it a lot! For those of you not counting down the seconds like I am that is exactly 8 1/4 days from this minute....I told Lyndon that I think I would even endure my c-section sans meds just to have it done with! In the mean time we are all getting a kick out of just exactly how large a persons ankles and belly can get. People have been really nice to pretend like I am so tiny and they can't believe that I am due already, but my honest friend (thanks Nic) cannot believe a human being can get this huge. She delivers babies for a living so she has seen her share of pregnant women! Anywho, I will probably be off the air for awhile, but just wanted to share a little of our excitement.

The picture is Lyndon with our baby Micah.

Why Do We Do This?

2010-07-05T12:58:00.000-07:00

I am in a tither (is that a word?) Today on the day that we celebrate our freedom I am thinking about our freedom of speech. The thought that is on my mind is, Just because you are free to say something, does that mean that you should? My opinion on this is a resounding NO! In the last two days I have been confronted by several examples that remind me just how thoughtless we can all be when we speak to each other. Yesterday I came home in a stew about natural childbirth, obviously just weeks away from my fourth c-section I don't participate in that. However after a talk with a well meaning friend I could only assume that the reason I needed (or chose drugs and/or c-section) was because of my own lack of knowledge about the beauty that is natural child birth. Today I came home looking at my kids and checking to see if they chew their toe nails because of a lady telling me that is exactly what homeschooled kids do. I then took a look at my home, checking for filth because also in her opinion homeschool families live in filth, not just filth but we are talking feces type filth. Shortly after I receieved a call from one of my dearest friends who was having a rough day that I think very much stemmed from others judgement of how she does or does not do things at her house.
Let it be said. I am certain I am as guilty of this as anyone in the world! I get so excited about the things that mean a lot to me that I know I sometimes present my enthusiasm in a way that makes it seem like the world's in the wrong and I am right. But, what the last 11 years has taught me is that there is no one right way to do things. I do believe there are a list of absolute imperatives that apply to everyone (moral character being key), but when it comes to day-to- day living, raising kids and being a family that is between God, you & your spouse and your kids.
I am tired of coming home after speaking to another person (usually a woman) and questioning every single thing I ever felt good about. In the last couple of years I am doing less questioning myself and more just wishing that we could be a little more gentle with each other, a little less judgemental. One thing I have confronted over and over is when you get zealous about something people seem to automatically think that you think something is wrong with them because they don't do it too, when that happens they get defensive and then things get ugly. For example, after my third son I started running because I needed something that was all me. I loved it so much that I decided to run a marathon that year. One friend pointed out that was all well and good for me, but that she loved her kids to much to do that to them. Up until that moment I couldn't see a single reason why this wasn't good for me and my family, but then I started worrying that maybe she was right. In hind sight I see that what really happened is that she felt bad about something I was doing and couldn't let it go past until she made me feel bad about it too. I am challenging all of us to be a little more gentle with each other. Something that may work wonders for you may be a disaster for someone else. For me, for now: the majority of my kids do not leave home to be educated, one of my sons is black as black can be, I happily take myself to the hospital with all the drugs I can get and have a baby c-section, I think that reading & organizing is more fun than most any type of entertainment there is, running (preferably alone) is in my opinion, the ultimate high, and I love heavy metal (although I rarely listen to it because I am wise enough to know that isn't a great influence for any of us). As for those of you who do things completely opposite from me, you are welcome to my world. I look forward to hearing about the things you are excited about and won't ever feel like you have to do it my way to be right. I will have a tendency to get enthusiastic, maybe to a fault, about the above mentioned things, but this is not because I think you have to do it that way, this is just because I love these things. I hope we can be friends...

The Pot of Gold

2010-06-21T13:39:00.000-07:00

If mushy makes you nervous step away from the blog post. Today I have been married for 14 years. In July I will have been in love with this guy for 19 years. Let us step back in history a bit shall we....We met when he was driving the motorcycle with his best friend on it and the said friend started chasing my friend who was driving the car that I was in. Because we thought they were someone else we stopped and met them both. I guess they got in with us, but I was in the front seat and had a boyfriend at the time so I don't really remember even talking to him. Our friends started dating, then they stopped dating and his other friend started dating the same friend and somewhere in there we became friends (and I broke up with my boyfriend, which is really key now isn't it?) I really managed to capture his heart with three things. 1. He was wearing a Motley Crue necklace type thing (this is the 90's people) and I said, "I love Dr. Feelgood". 2. A pair of purple shorts that I think were probably a little too short. 3. I tore a string off of a baja I was wearing and tied it around his arm and told him to never take it off (I was kidding, but weeks later there it was). This led up to the first call and the official date. I won't blabber forever, but I will say pretty much by the end of the night I knew we would be together for awhile, I don't think I knew about forever, but awhile. After a blissful year together he went off on a mission and I waited at home for him semi-faithfully until he came home. When he stepped off the plane, to nervous to really know what to say all he could think of was, "hey blondie" (I had been flagging all summer and my hair bleached out a bit) I knew then that I would love him forever no matter what. We have moved 12 times together, filled our house with almost 6 gorgeous sons, laughed, cried, fought like lunatics and loved each other every day since June 21, 1994. I know there are other men out there, but there is no other Lyndon and I thank God every day that he sent me the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I love you baby. Happy Anniversary.

Because We Belong Together

2010-05-21T20:18:00.000-07:00

I am thinking tonight of my Grayson. This little miracle of mine didn't get here the same way all of the other boys around here did and as he grows it is clear he is beginning to question that a little bit. You see he spent nearly a year and a half in a crib for 23 hours a day with other babies scratching at him, hungry and sick most of the time. When he was 8 months old he was so sick that he was hospitalized for 3 weeks before I got there to nurse him back to health. Just when he was feeling better I got on a plane (by force) and left him again for another 8 months. During the time when babies learn that if they cry someone will come for them and take care of it, my little boy learned that cry all you want no one if going to be there for you. Now as he grows we see that affecting him in painful ways. He is doing all he can (subconciously) to make us crazy so that he can prove to himself that we really don't love him, that we really won't be there for him. I am going to tell you honestly that the making us crazy part is working! But, no matter how hard he tries to prove that we won't be there for him it's just not ever going to work.

You see I know without a shadow of a doubt that before the world was, I wrapped that beautiful boy in my arms and promised him that I would find him. I know that the Lord set it up for me to be his mom and him to be my son. Nothing will change that. He may have five brothers that all lived in mom's belly, he may have a chocolaty exterior in a family full of vanilla's, he may wonder why we say that we know just what grandma Friant went through raising daddy because Jamen is just like him and we don't say that for him. But, the bottom line is this. He is my son. For eternity and longer, no matter what, we were meant to be together and NOTHING will change that. I hope that he knows that while I don't have to put a second mortgage on my house, live in a pile of paperwork, take three planes, and nearly lose my sanity waiting for him to get home again, that I will do all I can this time to go and get him and bring him home to me. Someday, and I don't know when, he will know that though sometimes it is hard for him to understand why he is here, the reason is because we belong together.

Ramblings of a Pregnant Woman

2010-05-19T15:46:00.000-07:00

Hello All
I usually wait to post until I feel so inspired, most days I just feel inspired (though denied) to take a nap. But, I felt that though this wasn't going to be a literary masterpiece that I do have a few thoughts I would like to save for my future self. In typical Heather fashion I will number them, though they are not in any type of order.
1. We named our son. Thanks for the help, phew that was a hard one. We ended up heading the other direction and decided to name him Forrest. That was my great grandpa's name and we like it. We are stressing out many people who seem to find this name completely disgraceful, but Forrest it will remain.
2. I have it in mind to start keeping a little notebook of the funny things my kids say, but they may be grown before I get it done, so the couple from lately would be: Isaac wants an apple critter (fritter) and Jamen would like a flazed (glazed doughnut). Cute and can you tell the awful food this pregnant woman has been craving? Isaac would also like to have dinner at a restronaut (restaurant).
3. I really believe the secret to peace is cutting back as much as possible on the crazy in a family's schedule, at least that works for us. The more we are home with no immediate plans the more peace there is in our life. This has also left lots of time for reading and we finished The Trumpet of the Swan and Knights of the Roundtable in the last few weeks. Did I mention that reading to my kids is the highlight of my existance?
4. Simplifying is just the best. I think that a houseful of bored kids makes for some resourceful and interesting people. We are going on a whole month of no TV until evening (and often not then). At first this was challenging, but now it just feels like those little brains are flexing and I love it!
Not much to say, like I said just rambling. Life is good. I am so blessed and I just felt like telling it to the world (or at least the few people that read my blog)

And He is a Good Kisser...

2010-04-14T06:54:00.000-07:00

Little confession here. I often wish that Pottery Barn would grant me a $100,000 make over for my home...I know my designer friend is probably cringing because of my lack of originality, but I just love their look. Clean, organized, modern but not to modern. Anyway I don't actually own one thing from Pottery Barn (you would have to sell a kid to buy a soap dish), but I love the look all the same. I often take a picture and run it past my builder husband to have him copy it for me. He is awesome. He even trudged through building me bunk beds that in my opinion are even more beautiful than PB's. Yes the cost went up a little when we had to take him to the ER because gloved in winter and a drill press are a bad combo....but still fabulous. The one thing I have really wanted is, of course, in relation to books. I find it in every catalogue and dream of my kids books sitting in there. Now the dream has officially become reality and I wanted you to seen the finished product. Isn't he fabulous, and a good kisser too!

Name Our Son

2010-04-13T15:24:00.000-07:00

OK...Granted we have already come up with a lot of names for boys, but you think we could settle on one more. I decided I would send it out there and maybe one of you can help...In case you don't know our names go in alphabetical order "GHIJKLM" so the name needs to be an "n" name. In answer to the two questions that we get often, no we are not having enough kids to fill all of the slots, this is it people. Second, we didn't get all cute and decide on this ourselves. When we were pregnant with out third our incredibly strange oldest son said "if his name started with an i we would be HIJKL" we pointed out as cute as that was we couldn't think of an i name. He responded (he was 4) "Abraham had a some named Isaac" so that is how this little cutesy tradiditon got started. Here are the names we are considering, but really aren't thrilled with any of them (though Nash has been the favored choice)
1. Nicholas
2. Noah
3. Nash
His middle name will be Rex and we would really like to find a 2 syllable name since we are all 2. It seems like we got tired and lazy at the end to name him "Nash" kind of like we were just to exhausted to finish it up....Names that are a no:
1. Nathan
2. Niles
3. Neal
I would love any ideas that you all may have. Ask around, make it your project would you? Give this poor son of mine a name!

A Familiar Sight

2010-03-29T10:55:00.000-07:00

Lyndon and I went for the much anticipated ultra-sound on Friday. I couldn't believe the amount of interest in the big question, "what kind of baby will the Friant's be bringing home this time?" As she looked and looked our little one did the usual hide as long as possible, but knowing our situation she was happy to keep looking. It's always so special seeing the little alien face, seeing the kicking and feeling it too. I hate being pregnant, but I am completely aware of what a miracle it is. After a few minutes out came the very familiar sight! I might have a hard time seeing the other little parts, but this one has sort of become my specialty. Lyndon started laughing and at first my heart sank. I was so sure that we were having a little girl this time. About two second later I looked at the screen and I saw the most beautiful thing, my son. I could never wish him to be other than who he is, I adore him already. And as the minutes went on and I knew that this son of mine would be my last child I felt nothing but honored. I am the mom of six sons! Isn't that amazing! If I live up to my duty I get to help six little men become big men. As for not having a daughter, I always tease that I don't do hair or emotions, but the truth is I wasn't teasing. If a daughter would have joined our family I would have read all the books like "Raising a Daughter for Dummies", but I think a part of me always would have felt a ltitle lost. Boys make sense to me. "Brother annoyed me, so I hit him", yeah I get that. I love rocks and bugs and stories of adventure. I adore the color blue and have always hated the color pink. I love everything about being the mother of boys. I grew up with one sister and it was always a dream of mine to have a brother. Then when that dream passed I dreamed of having a son. This is a perfect, beautiful example of how the Lord not only heard my prayer, but magnified more than I could ever dream! So the Frian't are having yet another beautiful boy, I almost feel sorry for the millions of condolences we have gotten, talk about the wrong sentiment! But, the good news is, I get it. I get that I am absolutely the most blessed woman there is and I have six messy, noisy, gorgeous boys to prove it.

And then it was OK...

2010-02-12T06:54:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had one of those moments that got me thinking (their really rare so they stick with me). Life is hard. Challenges are a daily part of everything we do. Sometimes I feel like giving up or at the very least wish I could hire Alice from the Brady Bunch to help out. So here's my thought... Life is full of difficulties, we are always climbing the mountain and it seems like we hardly ever get to the top and get to appreciate the view. I thought of a few times I got the "view" and then it was OK....
#1 Yesterday I got to hear my baby's heartbeat for the first time. The last few months have been an experiment in torture for me. I have never been more sick, never been more miserable in my life. I had begun to think of this little one as a life sucking creature. Yesterday I got to hear that little baby and then it was OK.
#2 In high school I dated this cutest boy for over a year. Then he left to serve a mission for two long years. I was 16 and incredibly dramatic, so though I knew he was doing the right thing I was so depressed. Then the depression went away and a I dated a little bit, one of whom I thought might be "the one". However, it never worked out because I just couldn't "Dear John" Lyndon, I even chased the mailman down once to get one back. Then he came home. It was awkward and weird but that first night he asked if he could kiss me and I said yes and I swear their were fireworks and then it was OK.
#3 We knew we were supposed to adopt and eagerly got started on the process. Then became what adoption is really all about...waiting. We waited and waited and worried and worried. I became so insane I needed meds (my adoption friends continually suggested different ones for me to take), but never did. It was the most heart wrenching thing I have ever done and I never felt more alone. But then many, many months later on Christmas Eve this angel boy sat on my lap with a bow on his head and then it was OK.
There are lots more. But, I think I am beginning to see that life is a series of bumps, bruises, long runs (though I kind of like those) and climbs with an occasional glimpse of the view and then it will be OK. Hopefully someday I will stand next to my Savior all broken up but having tried my hardest and He will give me a hug and then it will be OK...

A Part of Me Is There

2010-01-16T14:39:00.000-08:00

Over the last six years I have fallen in love with a country and a people that have been in my heart, on my mind and in my prayers every day since I was first introduced. Some of you are getting your first introduction to Haiti and maybe even pulled out a globe to see where in the world this tiny place is. I have been trying to write a blog post about how I feel about all of this, but as you know my blogs tend to be silly or off hand and there is nothing either silly or off hand about the disaster in Haiti. If I let myself think to much about it I feel as if I will begin to cry and never stop. A few of my concerns

The people I know (and the ones I don't) who have waited months and often years, kids rooms painted, hearts broken over and over again wondering when their kids will be home. Now they pace around wondering if their kids are even alive and if so what will all of this do to the already nightmare process of getting them home.
My hero Bishop Harry Mardy and his family who I am told is pretty much living in an LDS parking lot with, among others, all of the kids from the Foyer orphanage in Petionville that was destroyed. They are desperate for food, water and medical care. While there he is grieving the loss of his mother and sister who were both killed in the quake.
My Haitian Roots kids who I love so dearly. Of the 100+ kids we know that 10 are OK, the rest is unknown.
My sons other mother. I always thought of her and I as partners and pictured taking our son to meet her again someday. Will I ever know if she is still here?

Because several people have asked me I will let you know of two ways that I know of to donate. On the right hand side of my page there is a place you can donate money to Haitian Roots or Hope for Little Angels of Haiti. If you feel inclined go there to donate and just write "to be used for the disaster" and all of your money will be used for that purpose. The Haitian people are suffering and this is not your typical group of wimps here. They are tougher than most of us ever thought of being. I love them. I worry about them. I am praying for them and I love knowing that you are too. Don't stop. Don't forget them.

Yes the whole world revolves around me...

2010-01-07T20:06:00.000-08:00

I had made a decision not to blog until I felt better, didn't want to whine and complain in print. However, my new thought is that if I blog about it I won't feel a need to whine incessantly to any one who will listen. I am going to see if it works and if it stops me from being all about me to the next handful of people that are nice enough to ask how I am doing, then you won't want to read this for awhile. So how am I you ask (not that you asked, but for the sake of argument let's pretend the whole world really does revolve around me)? You know how I love lists so let me give you top 10 reasons why I am not OK...
#10 having been ill for nearly two months now there is nothing left in any grocery store anywhere that hasn't made me me sick and so therefore I can't eat it again...
#9 my son said that he loved me because I used to take care of him, but now that dad does it he likes my hair
#8 reading makes me dizzy, that's right my favorite past time can't happen
#7 running keeps me sane, unless you count running to the bathroom then you can imagine just how sane I am
#6 the track marks and bruises up my arms from the hospital make me look like a druggie
#5 though I appreciate the sometimes 5 pounds I lose in a day, bulimia apparently isn't going to work for me
#4 an allergic reaction to an IV drug at the hospital turned me into an embarrasing raving lunatic threatining to rip my IV out, my poor sister stood in the hallway waiting for the nurse because she was to afraid to be with me
#3 I haven't gotten dressed in a month and my adorable husband probably is starting to think the women at work look kind of cute (note my husband works construction and for the most part he has NEVER seen a girl at work that he would have noticed wasn't a guy)
#2 I have little to no participation in my life...it happens without me and I am to sick to even notice most of the time.
#1 you never know how much your family needs you until you are right here and can't do anything for them. I see all of them suffering because of me, me, me and it breaks my heart into a million pieces...
So big thanks to my sweet friends and family who call and ask how I am doing and then endure my tearful whining. Big thanks to those who have brought food (or offered to do so), cough drops, herbal remedies and groceries. Huge thanks to those who have offered to take my kids if I need them to. Big thanks to my darling sister who endured one of the most difficult nights I can remember by my side. Did I mention I know how blessed I am and I really love this little creature? I do and I know this to shall pass, I just wish it would pass a little quicker...

Guess What?

2009-12-27T11:52:00.001-08:00

Lyndon and I are thrilled and happy to announce that baby number six will be joining our family this summer! Before anyone else can ask first let me say that "yes we do know how babies are made" and "no we are not single handedly trying to populate the earth." We do however feel honored to be making a significant contribution! Some of my dear friends need to forgive me for not calling and telling them the happy news...this is all I feel good enough to do. We had this whole big plan to wait a long time to share, but while my family was here for Christmas Eve I had every one worried that I was angry with them so we told Jamen and let him shout out "we are getting a new family member!" to add to the festivities. It's much easier to have it out so that my kids know why mom is in her pajamas for a year and me passing it off as a cold wasn't working out so well.

With that said let me tell you how it is. I have five sons, 2 dogs, and 9 chickens. I adopted a child from Haiti, trained for and ran a marathon for fun, chose to have my kids home with me to educate them, had my tonsils out in my 30's and spent 2 weeks in a hospital with a tube in my throat....all of that is a cake walk in the park for me compared to being pregnant. I get so sick that my body naturally conforms to the fetal position and I have picked out hundreds of different pictures in my slate on my bathroom floor since I spend the majority of my life laying on it.

My husband does everything and I just watch. It is the only weight loss plan that works for me and my kids spend like 15 hours a day in front of technology of some kind (which I hate). With all of that said, we have been here before and we will live through it again. It would be highly ungrateful of me not to see the blessing in this. As I really get a chance to see my children when I am pregnant, since I can't do anything else, I know that they are worth it. I also know that I would go through anything to have them here...debilitating morning sickness, heartache waiting for them to come home from a fourth world country orphanage, anything....So "Yeah" for the Friant family. In the meantime I will be daily praying for the strength to endure my blessings!

As an after thought...the boys took bets on what they think the baby will be. 2 boys said boy, 2 boys said girl and one boy said chicken....I hope it's not a chicken!

What I Wanted to Say...

2009-12-15T19:24:00.000-08:00

We all have those conversations that after they are over we know what we would have said, but looking back know that it didn't go that way. This happened to me yesterday and though I won't be getting a do-over with the person I spoke to I still have to say it...Lucky you! An aquaintance called me yesterday to chat about home schooling. She had just recently made the plunge and she was frustrated, wondering how I manage to work out or shower, and obviously rather deflated with something that she had started out so happy to try. I bumbled around trying to explain how I make it work while folding laundry with one hand and checking Jamen's math page with the other...but as it came to an end I could tell that I hadn't helped her at all.
So this is what I wanted to say.
-I think the greatest discouragement is thinking that we need to mimic public school. If that is what we wanted for that child then they should go there.
-Time and season applies to learning for kids as well. If you are trying and trying and they are crying and crying two thoughts come to mind #1 they are not ready and #2 maybe your not going about it right for that child.
-I think the most important thing we can have whether we home school or not to help our kids is an atmosphere conducive to learning. I am only beginning to understand this, but a couple of things that work around here are #1 Limited time in front of the TV or computer #2 Books, books, books...they are everywhere around here. You sit on them, look at them and stumble over them-the kids can't help but pick them up! #3 Be an example! Don't give up learning because you are to busy teaching! How can a child get enthusiastic about learning when the person teaching them isn't?
-Most of all trust the Lord and listen to your heart. I find the times I get stressed out about having two of my kids (for now) homeschooling is when I listen to others usually cryptic remarks about it. When I am watching my kids and listening to the Lord there is peace. The Lord knew when he asked me to do this that I had a lot of laundry, cooking and a two year old to manage. He still asked me to do it.
-Enjoy being with your kids! It goes so fast. It will matter more that you taught them about right and wrong and helped them know that you love them to pieces than whether or not they did 20 pages of math worksheets in a day.
So that's what I wanted to say, but the truth is she really didn't want to hear it. I had to laugh because I felt exactly the same way when I started. I would talk to my home school friends and want them to tell me the "trick" the "magic pill" that would make the day go right. They never told me and they would smile and say things like, "oh it all works out." As our conversation came to a close I found myself smiling and saying the same basic thing!

Things I Could do Without

2009-12-10T14:43:00.000-08:00

Today has me thinking about the things I could do without and I thought I would share with you.
They are in no particular order, some of them are totally dumb and some are not at all.
-Corruption in the world that causes broken hearts to people that I love.
-Winter so cold that it makes me cry at the thought of going outside.
-Poor health for darling older people like my poor grandpa.
-Potty training. I would like some kind of computer chip to insert into my two year old that does it for me.
-Boys that can't go outside because it is to cold and so stay in the house making giant messes, fighting and whining.
-Noise. I wish my children came with a remote control so I could turn them down. Right now I would push mute on Grayson's remote because the crying is really loud.
-Backtalking. I mean really shouldn't what I say go?
-Lyndon working. Now I am not saying I don't appreciate the income, it would be pretty rough being homeless, but couldn't he just get paid to be home and keep me warm all day?
So here are a few of the things I could do without today. While reading Henry B. Eyering's talk at the Relief Society meeting today I read something that struck me as profound and applicable for me. Speaking of past relief society sisters he said, "Their determination born of faith to serve the Lord and others seemed to take them not around the storms of life but directly into them." It would be nice to never worry, never be inconvenienced and to pee without an audience. But, that's not why I am here. Loving people and being responsible for them will mean worry, tough days and trial, but I am trying to feel that determination born of faith and hope that I am getting it right at least some of the time...What could you do without today?

The Truth About Big Families

2009-11-25T15:37:00.000-08:00

When I was growing up I admired big families. I had one sister and that's all, not exactly a big family. But, I thought those big families must have it figured out. Jen and I fought constantly and it wasn't until I moved out of the house and we had our first babies within 3 days of each other that she became an indispensable friend to me. I digress, it seemed like those families got along all of the time. I pictured them surrounding a huge table sharing a meal and sharing their day and I thought it seemed pretty special. I also figured it would be hard work, so I didn't necessarily plan on a big family, just sort of admired them from afar. But, the Lord had it in mind for me to have a huge, noisy, messy family and because of that now I know the truth! The truth is:
#1 A family outing is always accompanied by noise, fighting and disagreements. We just went on the mountain to get a tree and I heard things like, "it's squishy in here, I can't breathe, this is stupid, I don't want to go." Lyndon and I snapped, "well, we are going so deal with it."
#2 Sitting around a table is not usually a warm fuzzy thing, but more like a war zone in which you a. hope you have something to eat when they finish and b. consider the meal a success with only two spills.
#3 There is never enough time to feel like you meet their needs. You notice that baby's toe nails are so long they curl, you realize your 6 year old still can't ride a bike, you see that your 11 year old is only about 1/2 inch shorter than you and you are sure the last time you checked it was at least a couple of inches and you realize that your kids are often living in squalor and you promised your kids would never live that way.
The list could go on and on sharing the "truth" about big families. But, may I end on this note...While I watched my husband grabbing each of my kids today and dipping their heads in the snow, them giggling so hard they could hardly breathe I knew that this is what it is all about. I wouldn't trade it for a quiet family with perfectly trimmed toe nails. The truth about big families is that they are awesome and I am grateful the Lord had it in store for me to have one....

Terribly Two

2009-11-11T21:40:00.000-08:00

Micah is two and the truth is about a week ago he woke up terrible. Here are the top five reasons I have decided not to sale him on EBAY.
#5 He is an absolute midget, he is so short that his bum nearly grazes the ground while walking, this makes him travel size for my convenience.
#4 He is in no way potty trained but will pee on the potty just before he gets in the tub. This makes him so happy that he goes running through the house naked looking for the parent who wasn't with him so that he can yell, "pee" and get a high five. It's funny as heck.
#3 He loves to pretend to eat my face and yells, "yummy, yummy, yummy" while doing so. It tickles and who doesn't like being told they are yummy?
#2 He has great taste in people. He WORSHIPS my husband and becomes angry, followed by moody and then depressed when he leaves. I go through the same things when he leaves.
#1 You just never know when you will need to know if there is a chicken within a 100 mile radius and he can spot them every time. He also doesn't leave you wondering because he will yell "chicken bok, bok" over and over until you acknowledge said chicken with the same amount of enthusiasm.
So, as of today he is not being put up for bid on EBAY, but just in case I change my mind how much do you think a chicken loving, midget two year old would go for?

I Learned My Lesson...Until Next Time

2009-11-09T15:51:00.000-08:00

I can't tell you how I looked forward to this past week. I already mentioned the 15 hours that I had planned to spend with hubby, but there was even more. I got to have lunch with my college roomies. These are some of my favorite people on the planet. We can go months without seeing each other and sort of start out where we left off. I could never tire of visiting with them. There are four of us and a total (for now) of 17 children! We share each other's joys and struggles, it was a blast. So then I headed to the hotel to meet Lyndon for our magical 15 hours. I thought I would start with a little workout. I was feeling a little yucky, but by the end I was wheezing like a first time runner after a mile...Decided to ignore it and got ready for our date. I was feeling a little crummy through the dinner, but still ignoring...Heck, I was on a date for Pete's sake. I was bursting with pride to be sitting with my cute husband who was nominated as engineer of the year for the state of Utah. He didn't win (thank goodness for him, he hates recognition), but I am well aware that he should have! After the dinner we went to a movie, I spent the whole time trying not to cough and having some guy look at me like I was personally coughing in his popcorn...after it was over I could neither talk nor breathe...Lyndon gave me some Nyquil, we slept a few hours and then hurried home because Grayson (who wasn't sick when I left him) was now running a fever of 103...
The next morning, after missing my nephew's baptism because we had to leave mid warm fuzzy talk because of one sick mommy and three sick babies I was feeling much better. Lyndon assured me he could handle the sickies and encouraged me to keep my plans to go to St. George for the weekend. Long story short-I ended up in the St Goerge ER in the middle of the night (Nicole, I am so, so, so sorry) with pneumonia. So after totally germing up my friend and her family I made it home Sunday sick with a house full of sick people. Lyndon took Gray to the ER as soon as I got home---he has a nasty case of the croupe. Kyle sounds like a seal with a cold, Gray is pretty near comatose and I feel awful. The Moral of the Story: This mom should NEVER leave the house without her children. I think I have learned my lesson...

Sigh...

2009-11-01T13:33:00.000-08:00

Today is Sunday and the truth is I am bored. I can't believe I just said that, that never happens to me. See Lyndon is at church with 3 of my 5 sons (truth told he has the noisy ones) and I am home with 2 who are to sick to do anything more than wander, watch TV, or sit in a state of lethargy. The lethargy is rubbing off on me. Since the new me is making peace with not getting it all done instead of making productive "to do" lists for the week I am pouting about the next 72 hours that my husband won't be home...Let it be clear and out in the open that I am thrilled for hubby. He is going to Colorado to go hunting with his best friend. Let's face it that man has to make do with "fun" being things like tilling horse poop into the garden on most days, of course since he is him he gets all excited about that too...but, anywho this time he gets to do something that really does qualify as fun to men who like to hunt. The good news is at the end of the 72 hours I get to meet him in Salt Lake for about 15 hours of just him and me...sigh...Doesn't that sound fabulous? It's that time of year again when Engineer's Conference is upon us and so we go. It's funny how as the kids have increased in number the days we stay together lessens and now we are down to a measly 15 hours...Oh well, I will take whatever I can get. As for the next three days, I am not a teenager I am a grown up (with a whole head of gray hair to prove it). I am to old to marinate in chocolate and whine because the love of my life is not here, I will not listen to mushy music and watch chick flicks while the kids are in bed and get thrown off by noises in the night....I am a GROWN UP, never mind, where is that Halloween candy?

Eureka!

2009-10-28T14:14:00.000-07:00

Archimedes was sitting in a bathtub thinking when he yelled "Eureka" and went running down the street buck naked. I was standing in my kitchen (fully dressed by the way) when the "Eureka!" moment got me. Yesterday I blabbed my sisters ear off telling her that if she loved me she would tell me the secret to getting it all done, she laughed and said, "you don't". That wasn't working for me. I always figured if you worked harder, faster and more effectively then you could accomplish all of it. So in a rare moment of solitude driving to Koosharem to see the world's cutest baby and his mama I mulled that over. Finally I just told the Lord that I just don't think I can get it all done anymore. The feeling that came to me was "then don't." So I woke up this morning fully aware that I wouldn't get it all done and I decided to be OK about that. In typical refiner fire's fashion I was tested to see if I really meant it. First off the schedule was thrown off by the little boys being home from school until the afternoon...We said fine, ate cold cereal read for an hour and made snowmen out of paper and then for real. Then, Jamen didn't want to write in his daily journal and so we said fine and let him write what turned out to be a wicked awesome story about a scary snowman that to tell you the truth scared all of us. Then, I could feel myself getting a little edgy and ready to loose it and asked Kyle to hold down the fort so I could go down and run on my treadmill...I said "the mess will hold up until you get your run in" and wouldn't you know it, it did! Then the biggie came into play. Lyndon stopped by home to start our first fire in our fireplace. Along with that came our fancy dancy smoke alarms (when one goes off they all do), ringing for 2 1/2 hours. Instead of losing it I screamed a story to Jamen (which he loved) screamed "I love you to Lyndon" instead of "this is so annoying, can't you do anything" and laughed until my belly hurt. After I began to worry about permanent hearing loss in my kids and myself we got in the car and while listening to a hillarious story drove around in a snow storm the likes of which my kids haven't seen for awhile. What is my point? My point is that things did not go well today really. At least not according to my old definition of well. The house is in shambles, we don't have every ounce of school work done, the baby was in his jammies until 2 (and snowboots and a hat), we might have permanent hearing loss, Isaac ripped a hole in his costume so big that he would have been indecent if I didn't have jammies underneath and my run stunk to tell you the truth. But I decided this morning that I already knew this day would be a "disaster" according to my usual standards and I am beginning to think that my vision of a perfect day was totally lame...So here's my "EUREKA" moment: The question to "how do I get it all done?" is "You don't". Nobody point out to me that my wise sister and my loving Heavenly Father told me that yesterday, it takes time to teach an old dog new tricks!

The Village Idiot

2009-10-07T05:50:00.001-07:00

I am in that awkward "first date" stage of living in Monroe. I am trying to make new friends and establish myself as a reliable one here. This is a tough stage to be in. Forget all of the embarassing things my kids do and say (that's a whole 12 posts all by itself), I am a bumbling idiot! So this is written in an effort to shed all my awkwardness on you and I have hopes that it will somehow "fix" me. I kick myself for going to book groups and talking too much and saying the most insensitive things. We have been having new friends over whenever we have a chance and after they leave I remember the fly strips are still dangling from the ceiling and the dumb things I said linger in my mind like a song that won't leave. I also have a tendency to handle things with sarcasm and silliness. This worked wonders as a teen because that's how my friends dealt with things. But, I am seeing that grown ups just don't seem to approach things in this way. Then there is visiting teaching. I believe this to be one of the most important things we have been asked to do. Some of my dearest friends have come from the Lord matching me up with them and I really think of it as one of his many tender mercies. But, starting from scratch is so hard! Do I take cookies or lotion? Do you want us here or are we a burden to you, how do we not be a burden but a help? Anywho, the list is long of things my mind runs over and over. I feel I should just send out a public notice "WARNING: I will offend you, but please note that I don't mean to. I want so much to be your friend and will continually say dumb things that I don't mean to say. However, if you stick it out in just a few short years (Erin how long you been hanging in there, like 15?) you will know I didn't mean it that way!" Wish me luck on this, until further notice I remain the village idiot.

Sorry, Sorry, Sorry!!!!

2009-09-30T09:19:00.000-07:00

I am a mess...I know you know that, but I feel I need to make a list of apologies today...
I'm sorry
-to the primary president who got a call from my kids while I was in the shower who hit redial
-to Grayson's pre-school for having to wait for class pictures for him while they called me to remind me that he was supposed to be at class pictures
-to my homeschool friends who needed my help yesterday and I couldn't help because Micah had the flu
-to the eye surgeon who was coming in early just for us and we had to cancel because Isaac had spent the night in the hotel throwing up with the flu
-to my friend who had surgery and got burnt cookies because I set the timer wrong
-to Micah for dragging him all over yesterday while he was throwing up because his brothers had places to be, and to his dad who comes home to a car and car seats that need to be steam cleaned because I haven't had time
-to my best friend who I was mid conversation with yesterday and my phone died on her because I forgot to plug it in
-to my son Grayson because I was grumpy at him even though I was the one who forgot his stupid pictures
-to my husband who apologized for calling during school time and I said, "I forgive you if it's important." He's my husband for pete's sake that's important enough
There are so many more apologies I need to make, but I am letting my son cry it out in the crib (sorry Micah) because he is grumpy from having a sick day yesterday...Forget running a marathon that is child's play, this motherhood deal is the hardest thing I have ever done.

Magic Spit

2009-09-24T05:56:00.000-07:00

Last week I get a call from Issac's sweet teacher telling me that Isaac has been sent to the principal for spitting in a boys eye. We of course were mortified and I immediately called Lyndon so that we could get on a unified discipline front. When he got home (after cleaning up buckets of rocks, scrubbing doors and writing apologies) I asked him why he did such a thing. Here is our conversation.
Mom: Were you mad at this little boy?
Isaac: No, he is my best friend.
Mom: Why in the world did you spit in his eye?
Issac: Well, I thought if I spit in his eye, I would be able to see better, kind of like magic you know.
Mom: Can't you see?
Isaac: Well, it's like (waving his hands around) and furry you know.
So though he had had his eyes tested just that week in school we decided to take him back to the eye doctor because of the "fur". While having his eyes tested they told us he was sick of the eye test and wouldn't let them cover his left eye, but he did perfect with his right so they "let him off the hook." After further testing they tell us that he has had lazy eye for years and has rendered him nearly blind in his left eye. That's why he can't read. That's why when his teachers tell him he can and he throws his pencil and says "I can't" he is right and they are wrong. His pre-school teachers told me a boy that bright was just being stubborn and that I just needed to push him harder (pretty glad I took that piece of advice and chucked it). He sees a pediatric eye surgeon tomorrow. Send a prayer for him will you?

Feel Like Giving A Future To A Child?

2009-08-06T22:17:00.001-07:00

It's the middle of the night and I can't sleep. I am thinking about my Haitian Roots kids and I was hoping you wouldn't mind reading a post about something so dear to my heart that sometimes I can't even talk about it. Sometimes you put things out there that mean everything to you and people don't "get it" and that hurts. But, you are my friends so we're OK. You know that Haitian Roots is a non-profit group of amazing people who want to help Haitian kids get an education. Right now this group, who I am honored to be even slightly attached to is scrambling to get the last of the money we need for the first tuition payment. I am the kind of person who hates to borrow an egg, so asking you all to care about my cause is a big stretch for me. Anywho...I could post lots of gorgeous faces for you to look at, but it being the middle of the night I won't call Shannon and make her send those photos to me for you to look at. But here it is. We have lots of kids who don't have sponsors yet who are desperately waiting to go to school. If you feel so inspired there are several ways you can help out (1) Sign on to sponsor a child. The cost is $250 per year and that covers all their costs to attend school for the year. (2) Sign on to sponsor and have $22 a month taken out automatically from your acount. (3) Make a one time donation because you feel like it or you recently won the lottery (you know whichever). (4) Say a prayer for these kids and their families. Thanks for listening folks. I know we all have our "causes" and so many of you I know are doing your own brand of good in the world, but maybe some of you feel inspired to jump into my crusade and fight with me...I would be happy to have you join me. Much Love, Heather
*To Sponsor a child click on "sponsor a child" on the upper right corner of my blog
PS The photo is of Kyle with Angeline, the girl he works hard for all year to sponsor

Summer Days

2009-07-16T14:51:00.001-07:00

Ahhh...the days of summer. Heat, water, popsicles and kids that need naps but won't take them...I have to admit I have always been a summer hater. I love schedules and cooler weather, but this one I am starting to see the magic of summer that everyone talks about. Living in paradise helps immensely. Favorite summer things so far:
1. Micah yelling "chicken egg" all day long. We got chickens (so fun and this kid is in love)
2. Eating fresh peas from my garden
3. Sitting on the porch watching the sun over the most beautiful view there ever was
4. Learning to play tennis with hubby
5. Being with my sister and her family last weekend to see them sealed together for eternity
6. Running in the heat and being certain that I burned a few hundred thousand more calories
due to the amount of sweat
7. Watching Lyndon and Kyle perform in Field Of Stars (they were awesome!)
Things I could have done without:
1. My poor husband totaling our van
2. 7 rounds of a horrible flu in the house (or in Washington DC)
3. Popsicle goo tracked through the house, followed by muddy feet
4. Ants in the house and snakes when I run (Ewwww)
All in all I think summer is a success. We have bought enough popsicles in the last few months to fund the running of a small country. I spend half my day applying sunscreen to my red heads and being grateful I have one kid that doesn't burn thanks to adoption! I have been reading instead of making the kids do school work and I never want to stop. Summer reads I have enjoyed immensely
1. The Narnia series-read it alone or to your family, the whole thing. It rocks!
2. A Beginner's Guide To Constructing the Universe (wow, talk about seeing math in a spiritual way!)
Happy summer to all of you!

Small Town Family Goes to the Capitol

2009-06-30T15:55:00.000-07:00

Warning: The following post sounds at times like I am a whiny baby. Note, I didn't mean to be whiny, just telling it like it was...I am aware what an awesome blessing it is that we were able to take this trip...
Hi All
We have returned from a trip to our nations capitol. We initially planned the trip for the future president. He has been so excited. I am going to give you a little list of the joys (and the not so) from our trip.
#1 We visited the Abe Lincoln memorial. I love that man, he is truly one of my great heroes. Standing at the base of that giant monument I am surprised at how quickly the tears come. Looking at it this time I was overwhelmed with the thought that he was a little boy once too and that with the help of people around him and the inner direction he felt he was able to do what he was sent here to do. This rekindled my desire to help my boys find their way in life.
#2 Nothing adds to a trip like the two boys you took getting the flu. Poor Kyle, on his first day there he threw up from the Washington Monument to the Lincoln Memorial. He wanted to risk the capitol because he didn't want to miss it. Long story short, after throwing up in many capitol trash cans we had to ditch our tour and get him back to the motel. On the way back, in the subway Jamen began throwing up....I try to comfort Kyle with the reminder that when he is president it will be a funny story that his first trip to Washington he spent most of the time throwing up in garbage cans and in the grass...It was really awful though.
#3 On the second day I stayed in bed with Jamen and watched Nick & Disney for 9 hours while he was sick and Dad and Kyle were off seeing the sights. I felt like my brain had been melted into fruit wax, but I loved snuggling my sweet sick boy (nothing slows Jamen down but illness).
#4 I haven't been a lot of places but I would like to nominate DC for the rudest people you will ever meet award! One example, Jamen was not hip with holding our hands everywhere we went and I was not hip with him running into large crowds and getting lost. Our agreement was a little rope that I planned to tie to his belt loop and mine. Now let me say I have always believed that a child on a leash is child abuse, but there have been a lot of times where I have had to do the things I swore I would never do to keep Jamen safe. He wanted me to tie it around his tummy and he could be my puppy. You never found a happier boy in your life. He was barking and laughing and really enjoying himself. Anyone could see that this was working for him. People nearly dropped their brief cases, mouths hanging open and making comments making sure I heard them. Whatever happened to disapproving of people but being to polite to say anything...At this point between the comments, the throw up, the motion sickness from the subway and the humidity I was in tears...
#5 On our last day there we were all well enough to go to Arlington Cemetery. I was so moved to see all the men and women that have died serving our country. The silence was so touching and gave you the opportunity to really see how blessed we are.
#6 We also went to Mount Vernon, which was my favorite thing. Geroge Washington is my hero and I loved seeing where he lived. I could imagine him and his wife there and really appreciated this opportunity to see where this amazing founding father lived.
#7 At the capitol our tour guide was this amazing young girl who I just couldn't help but admire. She was obviously very capable, knowledgeable and also excellent with Jamen (which is hard for most people). At the end I managed to find out that she had been homeschooled her whole life. I wanted to put her in my purse and pull her out for everyone that worries you will be a social reject if you don't go to public school!
#8 We got to meet Jason Chaffetz, which Kyle managed to appreciate though he was miserable. I have to be proud of my home state because about the only nice people we talked to while there were him and all of the sweet people working in his office!
#9 Flying home I was able to share some of what I believe with a sweet lady on the airplane. It reminds me that I can't wait to be a missionary and have the chance to share something that means everything to me.
#10 Lyndon was like a soldier the whole time. He did his job and got us to the right places safely, but hardly cracked a smile. The minute we landed in Utah he started dancing and singing along to Billy Joel with a big smile. He reminded me that if I wanted to travel maybe I should go without him and he would pay and miss me, but he was a homebody! Usually that annoys me because I always want to travel, but after this trip I think maybe I will stay home with him!
So there is a little bit from our trip. I am so happy we were able to fulfill a big wish for Kyle, so appreciative of the country I live in and so happy there are still towns population 1800 for me to live in!

Ode To The Hubby

2009-06-21T13:11:00.002-07:00

Today is Father's Day and to top it off I have been married to hubby for 13 years today as well! I feel that deserves a tribute...Considering to begin with our "song" was "One" by Metallica you will see that we are not your traditional couple (you may not remember that particular little number but some of the lyrics were "all that I see absolute horror..." a real romantic little ditty!) So besides all of the sentimental hallmark card words that do apply to the world's best husband and father let me name five things that are just to cool about the man in my life...
#5 He yells "son of a biscuit" when he is really upset. He also had to add a family rule that states, "you can only swear when you shoot yourself in the finger with a nail gun" since that was the only time our sons actually heard him cuss.
#4 He can't lie....seriously he can't. He will look you straight in the face and say, "no, I have nothing planned for our anniversary" but he is grinning and blushing like a crazy person (yeah, babe you fooled me way to go!)
#3 He runs almost everywhere he goes! He is just so excited he is like a puppy on the loose and runs or sprints even into the hardware store to buy ant killer.
#2 He delusionally thinks that I am the hottest thing on this planet. I used to think it was just bacause he is legally blind, but I am beginning to think he really just thinks that. Pretty tough being married to someone who has to leave the room for a minute because you are so beautiful he can't take it.
#1 He gets up everyday and keeps trying, even though our life together with the wild monkeys can turn you into a crazy person!
So here's to you babe on this awesome day of celebrating you! I love you and don't know why I am so blessed, but I am always grateful to be.

Parenting-The "moments" theory

2009-06-14T17:56:00.000-07:00

First a big hug to all of you for pretending you would be heartbroken if I were to sign off forever! Boy you guys are good! I think I might have to many soap boxes to leave for good, but I always think I will quit because I am a technology "hater". I totally should have been born in the Little House in the Prairie time period (exceptions-washing machines, electric light and air conditioning...wait there really are a lot), but I really hate cell phones, computers and don't even get me started on my feelings about texting....I digress...
Today is Sunday (translated the day you should feel close to God, but the day that at our house is a fight from morning to end). For some reason Satan seems to come to stay for all day so that we can't possibly feel the spirit and I told husband that I thought maybe I had decided the best way for me to go was to drive off a cliff...to which he replied, "take me with you my love." I really would like to be fired from this gig today, but let's face it there is no one willing to replace me and though I don't feel so thrilled with my kids right now the bottom line in they are mine and so I have to forgive them for their wickedly bad choices of today.
An apostle (don't remember which one) and an author have a theory about parenting that I really liked. Warning I am not quoting them, but instead putting my twist on it. If you want the spiritual or well written read them, not me. The theory goes something like this, "parenting is made up of moments that make it all worth it in a sea of things that make you wish that you couldn't give birth or adopt children..." Ohhhh baby does that ring true. In my world there is no such thing as a good day, and very rarely is there a bad day. One minute you are driving home and your sweet two year old is yelling "mom" and you say "What?" and he yells "chicken, bock, bock!" and you laugh and all the other boys laugh and he thinks he is so funny that he belly laughs and does it all of the way home...."Ah", you think, "this is what life is all about". The next morning you wake up to little people screaming, "I hate you", "If you cook it I would rather die than eat it." Then you think to yourself, "I surrender, I give up" and you reach for a cookie. Then it occurs to you that this isn't a job at the local gas station. You can't quit, that's called child abandonment. So you send your son to bed at 6 because you have run out of creative punishemnts and he has way over stepped the bounds this time (again) and you pace around wondering if the Lord knew what he was doing when he sent you five babies that need to be turned into men of God and mostly by you....
So, here's to the moments...they are going to be few and far between sometimes, but I am almost sure that those will be the things your kids remember if you are really trying to be the mommy the Lord sent you here to be...Here are just a couple of mine.

Getting ready for church today I see Isaac grinning with a thumbs up and he says, "mom sometimes you are so beautiful I can't stand it."
Grayson napping in my arms through church
Kyle setting a goal not to lose his temper or be grumpy for a month because, "he doesn't want to let me or the Lord down anymore."
Driving home from science camp with Kyle and my mom laughing hysterically and thinking over and over, "he is so amazing, how did I get so blessed?

I hate that quote that says "life isn't measured by the amount of breaths you take, but the moment's that take your breath away." When you are the mother of five kids there are lots of moments that don't take your breath away (well, unless you count the ones that make you feel like you have been kicked in the stomach...) If that's the case, then life isn't much! So much of what you do is so not like that. But, those few moments thrown in mixed with daily TLC, forgiveness on both sides for messing it up, and renewing your committment to the little monsters (sometimes hundreds of times a day), to me that is parenting...that is why I am here and so though I don't "quit", for now it's only because faulted though I may be these blessing are all mine! Heavenly Father help me today to endure my blessings!

Multiple Personality Disorder Girl

2009-06-06T09:54:00.000-07:00

I have a friend whose blog I read...on that blog she has a list of blogs titled, "Blogs I read that you shouldn't" Like any good defiant teen of 34 I couldn't help myself from looking them up and then spent the next hour reading one and laughing so hard I almost peed my pants (apparently if I am like most women near my age I will be doing that soon anyway). After reading it the blog posts started filling my mind and I realize there is an inner conflict in me that battles almost constantly, either that or I have multiple personality disorder. Let me introduce you to the two Heather's...On the one hand we have Typical Mormon Housewife Girl...This one works hard to keep things neat, orderly and happy. I home school and as of yesterday own chickens. I make my own bread and read to my children like crazy. We do morning devotional and have family home evening. I read parenting books and make charts for everything. We attend church every week and I love the Lord. I can bear my testimony with tears and I mean every word of it. I believe in family and at the moment have five children, but still don't consider us a large family. I drive a mini van. I adore my husband and have been married to him since I was a child (19 almost 20). I have a fake Scentsy candle wafting out lovely smells most of the time. I try to do what is right, I spell check and do food storage inventory. I used to scrapbook and know that I will probably start doing it again. You know her, sometimes you don't like her very much....let's hear it for Typical Mormon Housewife Girl!

Now may I introduce you to the other me! To friends like EE, Nic and T this girl is not really a shocking revelation...to most of you, you just won't believe it! I have to bite my tongue almost constantly not to say the inappropriate sarcastic remark that I have for almost everything that is said. I think motherhood is wicked hard, harder than anything I have ever been faced with and some days there is nothing I would like more than to turn the job over to someone else. I hide candy from my kids and then hide myself so I can eat it without them. My husband's perfection sometimes annoys me to death and sometimes I swear just to see his eyes get all big. I have read Twilightmultiple times and I think it is stupid and a waste of time, but though the other me thrives on the productive use of time, this girl likes to waste it on anything remotely entertaining (may I also add mindless teenage chick flicks here). The other me is already worried that keeping it real will offend so many of you that I try daily to be like. Most of my friends appear to enjoy their children and love them so much that butterflies appear to be shooting out their faces every time they look at them. Sometimes when I wake up I make a rule that my children can't talk until I have had a shower. They never actually shut it, but I still say it. Point being there is a lack of butterflies shooting out of me a lot. Some of you know her, most of you don't. But, this is me anyway so a big round of applause for Psycho, Immature Full Grown Teenage Girl!

I could yammer on until the end of time. But after spending two days with a friend recently I realized a couple of things. First off, people don't like you if they think you are really and truly perfect. It makes you completely unapproachable and it's just not real. Second, I am tired. I am tired of trying to be "perfect". I am not. My children are not. The husband I love and I can fight better than most people, we also know that doesn't mean it's the end for us. I am going to try and live in peace with these two women. I know that some of that "evil" stuff needs to be tweaked (not like tweaking which I learned from my friend is mom's on meth), but you know improved. But, like it or not I just might be both. The me that hates holidays, parties and social gatherings and the me who plans each of those with a theme and a clean house because it is the right thing to do....who do you like best?

So feel free to write whatever you think about this...Some of you will go with the typical perfect response "oh Heather, none of us are perfect, but we just love you, love you no matter what." And that will be greatly appreciated. Or you can say what you are really thinking things like:

"You weren't fooling anyone we always knew you were a loser"
You can leave tips of the best places to hide while eating peanut butter M&M's
"Sarcasm is an art, feel free to use it."
Feel free to introduce me to your alternate self, I would love to meet her!

I spell checked this, but I am not taking the time to find a fitting photo to match...In the future, if I chose to continue to blog which personality do you prefer. Gorgeous pics of my kids in matching outfits in the perfect seasonal setting or me ranting on like an old version of Avril Lavine with no musical talent?

Where's Heather?

2009-06-06T08:13:00.000-07:00

Usually I am writing a blog post in my head at all times. For the last month that just hasn't been happening and I have been trying to figure out why. Last night I think I found the answers...First off, I have been crazy busy. Quick re-cap: moved into new house, had lots of friends visit new home, went camping, finished up school year, etc. Second, lots of things have thrown me "off". Quick re-cap: everyone got the flu (including me), I broke my toe (yes again), and I got into a car accident (no worries we are fine). I also have been helping (but let's face it mostly watching) my husband put in out yard. If you know my husband you know the energizer bunny has got nothing on him. He works like crazy and whistles the whole time. Quick re-cap: put in sprinkling system, planted grass, built sandbox, planted garden, built flower boxes and planted them, planted 12 trees and built the mother of all chicken coops. I also have been arguing with myself about whether or not I plan to remain in the blogging world. So with that out there how about some comments on why you blog or don't and why you think I should keep at it or not...

My Dilemma-Being in Several Places At Once

2009-05-12T07:08:00.001-07:00

This year a big part of my problem has been my inability to be in more than one place at the same time. I understand why cloning ethically isn't really a great idea, but if it were available I might be tempted. I think if I could clone myself I would have one me just available for my sick children! I am not kidding you when I tell you we have had every thing going around this year. As soon as one kid recovers he is always nice enough to share it with brother and so on and so on (it's the only thing they share willingly). Just in the past two weeks, the following scenarios have been my reality:
-Isaac had the flu, but I had hopes it was better and so we headed to the Cinco de Mayo celebration with our home school group. Picture enchiladas, hot sun, dancing the macarena and a sick stomach...yeah it was that good...
-Last week had a busy day planned and when Jamen woke up his head was swelled up the size of a balloon...Move everything so we could go to the hospital for a cat scan and find the allergic reaction is causing pressure on his brain...
-Two weeks ago I was doing something that I love almost more than anything....sleeping...I am woken by my sleepwalking son who needs to go to the ER to have his head glued together at one o'clock in the morning...
-Today we have a great home school activity planned, a May Day celebration complete with May pole and bartering. I was up all night with Jamen who now has the flu...
Motherhood has turned me into a flake. I used to be punctual and you could count on me to be somewhere. Now I feel like I need to say, "you can count on me, well maybe..." I am telling you I would be the most together mom on the block, if I didn't have any kids...

Passionately in Love

2009-05-04T12:15:00.000-07:00

In March I attended a Thomas Jefferson Education conference that I go to every year. I already reviewed the “biggies” for me on my blog, but I feel a need to go into a little more detail on one of the points. In one of the classes I attended on social leadership one thing really hit me like a ton of bricks. Now, when I think of social leadership I was thinking charity work, global thinking, training our kids, etc. Those things were mentioned but one the strongest points was that we need to have a strong marriage. Dr. Shannon Brooks stated, “if your kids aren’t telling you that you need to ’get a room’ frequently than you have a problem.” His point wasn’t just that we need to love our spouse, be nice, follow the golden rule and all that, but that we should be passionately in love with our spouses and our kids should know it. That has been my focus since the conference (honey I hope you have noticed!) I have always loved my husband passionately, but most of the time it was in my head while folding laundry. Now, I try to think to myself, “the laundry will be there after I kiss my husband and tell him he’s the best.” You know what the laundry was happy to wait and it was pretty great to see hubbies smile and the kids saying “eww gross” with giant smiles on their faces. What better gift can you give your kids then to show to them that the people that are in charge of them are crazy about each other and that they are a team? I just finished reading Behind Every Good Man by John Bytheway, what a great little book. It is filled with wisdom, but the bottom line is, you are not going to MAKE your husband into what he should be. How do you feel when it appears someone is pushing, nagging or critical of you? For me, I think, “yeah well forget it neener neener.” The same is true for your hubby. You catch a lot more flies with honey (or something like that) and even if he doesn’t change into what you think he should, the more you love him the less you want to change him at all….

Get Used To It Or Retire

2009-05-03T15:55:00.000-07:00

Sometimes blogs are for venting...this is one of those for me...I read a blog entitled "we are that family" the other day. I had to laugh at this mom because I think it is clear that we also are "that family." For us we are that family that is the noisiest at church, the ones who do "crazy" things like adopt and home school, the ones who don't have any TV channels...Anywho "we are that family." Today I attended church and bore my testimony in church and part of what I said was basically that I love the Lord and that I have a testimony and that is the only reason I go to church every Sunday. While there my children embarrass me and I hardly get to listen to a word. While there I spend the whole time trying to get my kids to listen, hoping that the latest round of primary teachers won't be thrown into retirement and hoping that the Lord loves us even if we are two seconds from tears because of all of it. I have one son who will remain nameless, but if you know me you know who I am talking about, that I worry about almost constantly. Usually I am doing all I can to reign in his affection and enthusiasm for life. It's embarrassing, it makes people uncomfortable and it makes it hard to go places. Today instead of feeling sorry for others I feel sorry for him. This is a boy who wants more than anything to be your friend. Most likely that means he will hug you and talk your ear off. When he was little people thought it was sweet, now most people (even kids his age) treat him with disdain or patronize him and act like they deserve a reward for not being outright mean. As he is growing up he is learning the lesson that not everyone wants to talk to you, not everyone wants to be your friend and enthusiasm and affection are not really OK...I am sick and sad and worried today as I think about this boy of mine...Today I feel my two options are to change my personality and quit caring what other people think and take him wherever he wants to go and quit trying to get him to be quiet and stop hugging and just let him be who he is. My second choice is to retire him from society and just let him be who he is surrounded by those of us who won't patronize him or ostracize him...I will let you know what I decide.

Making A Home

2009-05-02T16:01:00.000-07:00

Well, we have been into our home for a couple of weeks and I have been running around like crazy trying to make it "ours". A couple of days ago I had to head back to the rental to take back the keys and as I walked through I almost started to cry knowing that it wasn't our home anymore...I couldn't figure it out. I then came back through the door of my new beautiful home and realized that while I am not blind, I can see how wonderful it is, it isn't home just yet...I am beginning to see what turns a house into a home and I thought I would share what I have learned...
#1 Homes need experiences...Let me tell you how how I knew this one...Thursday night in the middle of the night Jamen came in and calmly said he hit his head on the wall. I hugged him and told him to go back to sleep. A couple of seconds later he started running up and down the stairs and around our fireplace. I assumed he was sleep running (he does that) and asked Lyndon to wake him and take him to bed. Lyndon brought him in and turned on the light (it was 1 in the morning). When I looked up I see my little boy completely covered in blood...he had bumped it somewhere (we can't tell where the blood was everywhere) and when he felt the wet in his eyes he looked in the mirror where it was shooting out of his head into the mirror and he got scared and started running....We were lucky this round because they were able to glue it instead of stitiching it...Seeing your home lit up when you come home in the middle of the night from the ER gives you that home feeling.
#2 Homes need to have stuff that represents who you are as a family. I didn't want to put anything on the walls, I wanted everything neat clean and perfect. That lasted for a couple of days and then I started feeling like I was living in a pretty hotel. So I began hanging the things I love and bought a painting that I have always wanted and that means everything to us as a family. I hung it above my mantle, isn't it beautiful?
#3 Homes need dings, nicks and messes. Yes, you heard it from me who loves order.
#4 Homes need time. It takes time to be able to walk around in the dark without looking. It takes time to know which switches turn on what lights. We're getting there.
#5 Homes need gatherings. Jamen was baptzied today. My beautiful boy and his special day meant a whole house of family.
Anyway, I am finding what it means to have a home not just a house. I am grateful to have this place becoming our home. I really do live in paradise. I sat on my porch last night while everyone was asleep just thanking God he brought me here, and I know if we involve him this will be home before we know it.

We Are Here! We Are Here!

2009-04-23T07:59:00.000-07:00

Just like the town of Whoville yelling, "We are here!" I fell like doing the same. We are all moved into our place and settling into paradise like a family of troopers! I really have so much more to do, but wanted to post some pics of the place and give you a tour so to speak. Hope all is well with all of you...(unless your Jodi, there is no hope for you sweetie!)

Happy 8th Jamen

2009-04-07T19:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my baby's 8th birthday. Jamen laughs when I call him baby, but he will always be my baby. He began his life by letting us know how it would be with him...labor for 20 plus hours, then his heart all but stops and then he is delivered by an emergency c-section at which time he is blue, the nurse said she knew he would make it because he smiled at her...that's my Jamen. Lots of work and scares, followed by miracles and more joy than you can possibly dream of. I adore this boy of mine and can't believe he is 8! It goes so fast, may I never forget it...

It's A Good Thing He Is Cute

2009-04-02T08:42:00.000-07:00

My little Micah is such a joy and such a handful! He loves to make messes, loves to be outside, and worships (and I am not exaggerating) his dad. If he had a full time person just to watch him and do nothing else he would still find a way to get into mischief...It's just a good thing he is so cute!
FYI-The one with the tooth brush and paste is Micah hiding in my closet trying to pull one over on me. The black on his face is a whole tube of mascara...

A Child's Prayer

2009-03-30T07:06:00.000-07:00

I just have to write a parent moment before I forget, these days we will be lucky if I remember what I am writing all the way to the end. My Isaac (who is 5) says the cutest prayers. Yesterday in primary he said, "bless these people not to miss us so much when we move and I will miss them and I just wanted to say this prayer so that I could say goodbye..." This morning he offered to say my morning prayer for me. After blessing that I would be a good mom he said, "bless that all our family will be safe where ever we are, even if there isn't a fence and it is on a high mountain. And bless we will have long ropes so that we can get down the hill safe and sound...." He is so cute!

The Winner of My Favorite Things Is...

2009-03-27T15:21:00.000-07:00

Boy will y'all be glad when we finally move into the house and you aren't suffering through the play by play of the building process....The thing I felt most excited about has come to pass and I thought I would post pics. Picture #1 is of my all time favorite thing. In case you can't tell it is floor to ceiling book shelves that take up one entire wall and they are blue...glorious, so me blue! #2 Folding table in my laundry room with the cubby lockers for each kid on the side. You can't see it, but outside that window is a killer view of the mountains...I spend my entire life folding laundry, the view is a gift. #3 & 4 Pictures of the kitchen cupboards, did I mention that I love blue? Thanks for looking!

Look No Further....Parent of the Year

2009-03-26T16:09:00.001-07:00

The following post will contain a great deal of sarcasm. Please note that it's not because I am not upset or not aware that there never was a worse parent, it's just how I deal. Last week I was out at the house trying to surprise Lyndon and do some of the cleanup so he wouldn't have to. I was working along and came to check on my baby, he was drinking out of a bowl of paint thinner. It looked like he hadn't gotten any so I didn't worry to much. Later as we are headed to town for pizza, because I am incapable of doing a project and feeding my children well, he starts throwing up straight paint thinner. After a good deal of time with poison control we were told all would be well as long as he didn't ingest it into a lung while throwing up. They told me and I quote, "if he stops breathing and turns blue, that is bad, call 911." Whew...thank goodness he let me know, because I am not sure I would have known what to do if he stopped...He's fine. I was "comforted" after speaking with my dad who teasingly remarked, "what kind of mother let's their kids play around that stuff?" My reply, "well obviously the mother of the flipping year." Today I met my mom and sister at my house wanting to show them the cupboards. It was a little nuts with all the kids, workers and all that was going on. I am saying that to set up the horror that follows, though please note I am not excusing myself. We left with most all of the kids crying, Lyndon needing a ride because his starter is shot and hurrying because I need to make dinner because the kids are "starviiiiiiing." Half an hour later the phone rings, it's the neighbor. The cabinet guys want to know if we are coming back for Grayson. WHAT? That's right we left one of our children and we didn't even know he wasn't here. My adoptive friends will be appalled, Shannon will probably disown me...These people wish every day for their kids to be home to take care of and I who am blessed to have them forget them...Mother of the year. I have to cry now and await the police coming to take me away...I will be taking collections for the therapy my sweet son is sure to need. Lucky me I just happened to leave the one who I left in an orphange for 8 months the last time I left him...

Multiple Fruits

2009-03-24T15:36:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those days that I just really could see the magic of childhood (instead of being annoyed by the amount of laundry generated by childhood). Let me share a few magic moments with you. Isaac & Jamen went to play with a friend (thanks Brandt), while driving home they were both trying to tell me all of the great things about the visit. Issac was bursting with joy (he's 5) when he let me know that he had homemade jello with "multiple fruits." Seriously when was the last time you praised jello with "multiple fruits." We came home and read a stack of picture books one of which was Make Way for Ducklings and then we went for a drive. While out we talked about how fun it would be to see a line of ducklings. Not two minutes later while driving up the canyon we saw a line of wild turkeys! My kids were ecstatic, and to tell you the truth so was I. While we were in the canyon I told them to pick one little rock or leaf to show dad about our trip. Jamen brought back a cool rock that is all glittery. Isaac picked up a little pebble (to get what he felt was an assignement out of the way). Gray was all excited about his find and he opened up his little hand to reveal it to me. It was the top off of a pop can. He is avidly guarding his treasure. We also read the book Library Mouse (which we love) and had our own "Meet the Author"day. We stapled together little books and made our own and read them to each other. We had Star Wars, Dora, a gripping story about a Dinosaur that ate the family's dinner table and a sneak peak of the mystery that Kyle is writing. You know I am (today at least) beginning to see what all those people who have grown kids mean when they say, "You're going to miss this!" You know I think they might be right...

What About the Honey?

2009-03-21T12:52:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking a lot the last little while about my kids...this is nothing new for all of you mom's out there, I mean really what else do we think about? The topic however for the last little bit has been a lot more about love and a little less about laundry. I have been around a few people over the last little while who have really inspired me with the love they have for their kids. One of those is an excellent speaker and mentor named Angela Baker. You can tell she adores her kids and wants nothing more than to be around them and help them meet their mission. Another friend (Emily) honestly can't think of anything she loves more than life as a mom and the adoration she has for her three awesome kids just shines in her face, she inspires me. I just finished a book called Honey For A Child's Heart. The book is really about what and why we should read constantly to our kids, but I didn't really need that talking to! But in the book she points out how willing we are to give our kids "milk" as in making sure they are fed, clean and ran to this and that. But, she pointed out that often we miss giving them the "honey". She was mostly talking about how important for relationship building it is to read, but I caught the underlying message of how we need to be more to them than just a nanny (except of course if you are Mary Poppins). We need to look into their eyes and see the greatness that is there, see what God planned for them and then help them reach it. We need to look past the dirty faces, nose picking, never ending pile of laundry and see these amazing people that are ours to love and take care of. My kids need a hug and a story...

Phase#7 A Few of My Favorite Things

2009-03-14T17:15:00.000-07:00

Just some pics from the house...So many fun things happening. It turns out that when you build a house, that eventually you get to live there! It is getting close for us and we are so excited! The pictures are one of the garage door openings, the fireplace (without the mantle that is so wicked awesome), the entrance to our bedroom (Lyndon calls it my princess entrance), the entrance to the other half of the house and a little picture of the hardwood that Lyndon is installing as we speak...

Leadership Education

2009-03-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

I spent the weekend at a leadership education training in Salt Lake. I feel completely inspired by my weekend and since I love lists I just wanted to make a list of the "biggies" from a very full day that my head is still spinning from! The training comes from a concept called A Thomas Jefferson Education, I am not going to go in and explain all there is to this, but I will highly recommend the book to anyone interested. But, the basic idea is raising children to be leaders and not just sheep willing to follow along behind whatever fad is presented at the moment. It also encourages finding personal mission and then living it fully. So now a list of the "biggies".
#1 Oliver Demille, who is the founder of all this and an incredible speaker, gave an amazing speech on the times. He pointed out that history repeats itself and follows four cycles. He pointed out that our world is in crisis. While we all know this, he pointed out why we should be almost thrilled that this is where we are. Crisis proceeds change, we are in a position to lead a good change for the future of our children and grandchildren. Think Civil War, horrible, bloody, awful, but also look at what came from it! Slavery is abolished (finally) and we are a stronger, tighter nation! In this time we can succeed by a following some basic guidelines. First of all we need to realize that this is where we are, stop wishing for the 90's and live in the now, so to speak. This is a time that we as a community, as a state, as a nation can pull together and make great things happen. There can be less selfishness and watching out more for one another because we desperately need each other! OK, sorry this one really got me I could go on and on. Reading Suggestion: Our Home, Sargent
#2 If you want your children to have a great basis for education there are four biggies you need to start with. The Bible (and Book of Mormon for my LDS friends), fairy tales, myths & Legends and Shakespeare. Think about it! So much of what we read and hear about is pulled from these sources, how much better off we and our children will be if we have read and studied these things. We certainly will be focusing more on that here. Reading Suggestion: The Fairy Books, Lang & D'aulaires Book of Greek Myths
#3 Marriage is meant to be passionate! If we had fabulous marriages we would have happier kids and stronger communities! Shannon Brooks pointed out that your children should be telling you to, "get a room" often! What better gift can we give our kids than for them to see two people passionately in love working through life together? Reading Suggestion: The Peacegiver, Farrell
#4 Teach your children to work. Yes, it is easier to do it yourself! But, if you could help them see that they are an important, contributing member of your family you could change their lives! Reading Suggestion: Little Britches Series (We read these at night as a family...gotta love em!)
#5 Just a quote that I love and will be putting on my wall: No one can be called friendless who has God and the companionship of good books.--E.B Browning
What a truly inspiring day! I hope I can maintain the fire I feel right now and help my boys to reach the mission that God sent them here to fulfill!

Simplify-Great, But How?

2009-03-03T06:53:00.000-08:00

I have had this little cartoon sitting on my desktop for awhile because I love it! The caption under the picture, if you can't read it says, "Today's lesson is on the Gospel in it's simplicity." This is hilarious to us Latter Day Saint women because this is so true to life! Since the birth of baby #5 I am constantly trying to figure out how to live a simpler life. I have made some progress in that area but still have so far to go! Let me give you a little list of things I have done that have worked and then if you would, I would love to hear your suggestions for simplifying-heaven knows I could use them!
#1 I put all of my boys (except baby) in one room. We tuck them all in at the same time, get family prayer and scripture time in and read from our on going chapter book (at the moment it is the Little Britches series). Many people think that putting our five sons in one room is going to stunt their growth or something, but I can't disagree more! Some have even suggested that our oldest should have his own room. Why should he and not the others? Talk about learning conflict resolution! My take on that is, will it ever be a big deal to have room mates or mission companions when they have shared a room with 4 brothers, yeah I didn't think so!
#2 We have no gaming system and just recently decided that we wouldn't turn the TV on until the weekend. Sometimes this feels like more work for mom who misses the babysitter! But, then you don't see me trying to figure out how to regulate the amount of time they spend parked in front of said objects. We do use the computer and they each get two 30 minute chips per day.
#3 My boys own roughly 5 shirts and 5 pairs of levis. They don't accesorize, there are no coordinating shirts to go under or over other shirts and they pretty much all share the messy pile of socks in our laundry room.
#4 At a recent stake conference our Stake President suggested that we shouldn't be packing tons of things for our kids to eat or do at sacrament meeting. My first thought was, "does he hate me?" But, we decided to give it a go. They are allowed to grab one book to look through quietly while they listen, but that's all. It has been so great! I am not saying they are perfect (this is 5 boys 10 and under in church mind you). But, it is quieter. No one fighting over the crayons, no spilled cheerios, no trucks being supplied with sound effects. Plus I don't have to try and pack a big old bag for church.
Anyway, that's just a few things we do that work for us. Tell me what do you do to simplify at your home?

Phase #6 The Hole Makes Lots of Progress

2009-02-17T07:10:00.000-08:00

This picture really doesn't do it justice, but you can see we are on the move! Lyndon is doing a beautiful job with the rock. The guys you see are putting up the soffit and facia. While I was typing this Lyndon called to tell me I had to decide on the texture right that minute because they will be going on that today. We are looking at April to move in. I guess you know I lay in bed at night pretending I am having brunch with you all in my house...So fun...

What I See...

2009-02-16T09:22:00.000-08:00

Just this weekend my friends finally brought home their little boy from Haiti (Welcome home baby!) They have had their hearts broken over and over for two years waiting for this miracle. Today the dad sent an e-mail talking about what he saw in Haiti. After reading it I have to wonder if we went to the same Haiti. He especially discussed how shocking it is to see people and the way they act when their basic needs are not being met. I have thought and thought about this today and this is what I have concluded. We both went to the same country and I have seen many of the things that he saw, but I have seen so many other things of a different nature that I just don't really see that side anymore. Yes, the Haitian people are starving. I can't imagine the lengths they must go to each day to try and feed their families. But, while sitting next to a little boy not more than three who hadn't eaten in days I watched as he took the one piece of sausage (the thing he most wanted) and offered it to me. I have been with Harry Mardy (my hero and pictured above with his daughter) as he discussed his love for his family and the gospel. When I asked him if he looked forward to a place of his own, his response was, "well that would be so nice, but I can never complain, God has been so good to us." I have sat in a small room in an orphanage teeming with kids with a family who shares the room with their 6 children so that the other rooms in the home can be filled with kids that don't have a family. I have been to church in Haiti and seen people literally skin and bones with happiness overflowing in their eyes because they have the joy of the gospel. After church is over they spend hours outside the church enjoying the fellowship of the saints. They also check on each other and do what they can to help. I don't think I have ever seen that here. I know that bad things happen there, I am not blind and I have seen them. But, when I am there the overwhelming feeling is that in some ways they are better off than us. Better off because they know what is really important, better off because they don't get caught up in worldy greed because they have nothing. I know there are a few Haitians that would take advantage or even hurt us, I have had my moments of fear while there. But, the ones I know and love would happily throw themselves over us to protect us from any danger. So that is what I see when I am in Haiti and that is why you will keep seeing me there.

Proud to Be "Wierd"

2009-02-09T15:14:00.000-08:00

It occurred to me what it is possible our family looks like on the outside the other day. Usually I don't think much about this because what we do and are seems "normal" to me because I am used to it. But, those of you looking in just might be saying, "you know the Friant's, they are the wierd ones." There are many things that make us unique and it occurred to me that these are the things I am most proud of, so let me share them with you and let you know I am proud of being a wierd-o!
1. We have an adopted son from Haiti. No, we don't have trouble having kids, and no he is not here because we had 20 grand sitting around and didn't know what to do with it. He is here because He is our son and we think he is nifty!
2. My oldest son is a homeschooler. For those that wonder he can in fact carry on a conversation and he doesn't miss the "socialization" that comes from school. Jamen learned the "F" word in his "socialization" at school last week, I am not sorry that Kyle misses that.
3. We have a great big, noisy family! Five boys, a husband that sings at the top of his lungs and a dog. Reverence is a key issue for us at church, but for the most part I am proud to say that our neighbors 5 houses down can here our exuberance.
4. I would rather spend money on books than anything else. We marinate in literature at this house.
5. Running is my drug. I know it's wierd, but I like to run until it seems as if I will die if I don't stop soon.
6. My oldest son (who is 10) is the smartest person I know. When asked if he wanted a wii, he couldn't believe I would insult his intelligence that way. He carries around the Almanac of American politcs like it was a treasured child and makes plans to run for president in 2036 constantly. He is a die hard conservative and has a blog called "I'm For Reform." That is so wierd and I think he rocks!
7. My husband sings," All Creatures of our God and King," LOUDLY, whenver he is happy (and that is pretty much always.
8. I would rather go to my Haiti then go on a cruise. I would rather be in a place where I am likely to get a parasite, a rash or a broken heart then sipping slushy drinks because I like being somehwere where I can get in and DO something.
9. I would love to be the mother of like 10 kids. I think big familes are awesome! Yes, it is an exhausting thought (and I really can't have that many) but have you ever heard anyone say, "gosh we should have had less kids?"
10. I would do ANYTHING that I felt like the Lord prompted me to do. I love Him. I trust Him. I wouldn't even take a minute to think of the logisitics, I would just say, "Let's do it." Thank goodness for my husband who then helps me figure out exactly how to!
Yes, I am a raving lunatic. Maybe we are the wierdest family you know, but you know what today I say with pride, "wierd rules!"

Harmless Entertainement?

2009-02-07T10:19:00.000-08:00

Being sick often causes me to reflect, because I am to miserable to do anything else. I have been reading a book, listening to my kids, and somewhat listening to the TV,which of course has pretty much been on for two days. I want to throw something out there and would love to hear all of your thoughts and opinions on the matter. Is TV a good thing for our children to be spending time on? I already tend to fall into the "wierd" category around here because I made the choice not to have a video gaming system in our home (even when a Wii was offered as a gift). I know I am a little nuts, but as I listened this morning I had to wonder if I should even have a TV at all. I want to hear what you do and why you do it. I want to hear people stand up for it and people say it is completely of the devil. I would also love to hear those middle grounders tell me just how they stay in the middle region...Can't wait to hear from all of you!

Oh The Places You'll Go

2009-02-06T09:04:00.000-08:00

Today I home with the flu. To sick to care about the mess I have mostly been reading and listening to my kids compose a song about our dog. They were totally inspired by listening to "Beethoven's Wig." They take great classical music and compose silly lyrics so the kids love it. And wow are my kids loving it today...anyway. Yesterday Issac and I were reading and he put Dr. Seuss' "Oh The Places You'll Go," in the pile to read (I think he did it for me because it is my favorite). I love different parts at different times, but yesterday one part really jumped out at me. It reads

And when you're in a slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

I sort of got into a slump for a few weeks and now I am enjoying "un-slumping myself." I love that phrase, usually I am a fan of using real words, but I just think that should be one. Un-slumping yourself includes (for me at least)...exercise, eating right, scripture time, one great big clean of the house, and marinating in good literature. I am reading "A Little Princess" and "Walden, or Life in the Woods." It feels good to be un-slumping, hope none of you are feeling slumped, but if so here's to un-slumping!

So Long Fat Girl

2009-01-28T09:54:00.000-08:00

Let us be honest...some of us spend a great time thinking/worrying about our weight. I have been concerned about mine since I was about two years old. My answer to that in high school was to eat like a pig and live on Mountain Dew. My version of exercise was dragging main and occasionally getting out of my car to flirt with boys. The big dread for me was PE. Stand in a line, have your weight announced to what felt like the world and then they would pinch my over abundance of fat with that pincher thing. Then the real torture...testing our athletic skills. It was my nightmare, honestly I would dream about it for weeks. If I remember right they wanted you to run around the track one mile...four laps seemed like forever. I think I walked the whole time and was always the last one in. As for strength and stretching I was the least strong and the least flexible. This isn't just exaggeration, I really was. I was thinking about that this morning...I still worry about my weight and my athletic ability, but now I know what to do and I try hard to do it. I still have a gut, and that just may be a part of who I am, but this I know the me now weighs less than the teenage fat girl, the me now would be laughing that we only had to run one mile and would be begging to run a few (or 10 more), the me now could kick the crap out of the teenage fat girl that I was and that feels pretty darn good!

Sorry, He's Taken

2009-01-26T08:36:00.000-08:00

I am all in a state of twitterpation (if that's a state anyway). On Friday morning I woke up determined to be positive. Weekends have been a little hard since we started building the house because adorable hubby spends them all at the house. So Friday has sort of become like a Monday to me. I was giving myself the pep talk in my head, "come on Heather, your husband is off building you a brand new house, face the laundry with courage." Then I realize someone is looking at me. Turns out is my husband. Now usually the man is way gone before I realize that morning has hit (he is an insanely early riser). But, there he was. Then he says to me, "ask me again how I would spend my last day." I asked him a week ago and he said, "don't ask me today." I didn't know what he was talking about, just thought he was being weird. So I say, "how would you spend your last day?" He says, "me and you, nobody else and we are doing that today." After trying to figure out what he is talking about I finally realize that he has a room in Salt Lake, babysitters for ALL of our kids and that in just a couple hours we would be off for 27 hours all alone. Sigh...he is the best. We had the best time! We shopped for furniutre and had long talks, we laughed ourself silly when we couldn't figure out how to get out of IKEA and then when we did get out we were in fog so thick that we were making up horror story scenarios that were hillarious....anyway...let's just say that 27 hours is going to keep me smiling for a long time to come!

Gracie Gordon

2009-01-22T18:14:00.000-08:00

We all need a little perspective. I was patting myself on the back for making it through the winter in a tight spot with all of my healthy children surrounding me. Today I found out that the daughter of some of my awesome adoption friends passed away. Let us remember and be thankful that we have our children here, that when they are sick we can take care of them and that we never take one minute for granted. Thoughts and prayers to the Gordon family who have endured more heartache than any family should be asked to endure.

And the Award Goes Too...Me!

2009-01-22T09:38:00.000-08:00

There are some real courageous and resourceful people out there. Mother Teresa changed the world with her tenderness. Gandhi led a revolution with no violence. Men and women have trudged through the snow with rags wrapped around their feet in order to stand up for what they believe in. I would like to nominate myself as a person of courage for not completely losing it while living in a small rental, in the winter with my five sons. Yes, that's right I nominate me. Obviously I am being a bit fecesious here, but go with me will you? The children are clearly losing it as well. Issac became so annoyed with me that he dropped (threw?) a tinker toy can at my toe punching a hole in my toe nail (you wouldn't think what would hurt, but it does). Jamen is so fed up with school that I have a really hard time getting him out the door and yesterday he slammed my finger in the door (on accident) coming in again, though he was supposed to have left for school 20 minutes earlier. In an effort to stand up for the rights of mothers everywhere I have evicted my children's toys from my living room! That's right, I have a dream. I have a dream that I can walk through my living room and not get an army guy stuck in my toes! I sent all the toys to the room that they will now share with the baby. Let's face it he was the only one getting his own room around here and that just isn't equality now is it? So today they have every toy in our house on the floor of a room that I can't see! I am pretending like the house is clean everwhere. So today I nominate myself for a woman of courage and resourcefulness. I am sure that you will agree. Now there may be some argument on weather or not I have lost it and so therefore may not qulify for my award, but let me tell you...I am perfectly normal...REALLY!

Phase #5 Hole Progressing Beautifully

2009-01-13T16:23:00.001-08:00

Well look at that, I really don't think I can call it the hole anymore! I have been calling the house the "other woman" because Lyndon has been so in love with this project, but now I am loving it as much as him! I squealed like a stuck pig when they had the tub in, now sure it was actually just sitting in my "bedroom" but was I excited! The plumbers, heating dudes, and electricians are on it now. I ordered lighting, fixtures and my wicked awesome cupboards this week. This is too fun. I can't even imagine how I will feel when there are walls!

A Mother Of Influence

2009-01-11T16:10:00.000-08:00

Well, I have been working hard to keep fighting. It can be a full time job not to fall into a pit of rescue heroes and not be able to get out, especially in the winter when that and every other thing in this house is not put away....but it is a New Year and I am a new woman (or at the very least committed to be more like the one I used to be). Many of you will not be surprised (and I am sure my husband will be thrilled) to hear that I ruled out going back to school. I have lots of reasons but the biggest is for the moment I am needed here, not just part of me but all of me. I am reading a book called Mother's of Influence (fabulous) and I was touched by something that was said about Barbara Bush, "because Barbara Bush chose motherhood over a career, she gave the world two sons who have served America with honor." Now I know I have offended a whole lot of you. My democrat friends would argue that the men of honor thing is a bunch of hog wash and my working pals would say I am judging them for not being home...Now, now girls this is not what I am saying at all. First off to my democrat pals...The Bush men may not be perfect, but I think we can do worse and perfect or not they have chosen to serve America to the best of their abilities. And to my working friends, my friends that go to school and just my friends who don't feel good about being home all of the time...I am talking about me here, just me no one else. I feel like the Lord wants ME to be a mother of influence. I mean he gave me 5 healthy boys and a busy husband, I may feel useless at times but there is some major possibility here for greatness. No it probably isn't my greatness, but it is their's and that is going to be the focus of the majority of my life. Not that I will stop educating, I just need to educate myself for the time being. I want to set a precedence with my kids for just being "here". I want them to say to their pals, "well, we can go to my house, I know mom will have food." It would be so easy for me to go to school, so easy to travel the world feeding the hungry, I could leave tomorrow on a full time mission. But, I am needed here. I have a family to educate, feed and teach the gospel and that is what I am going to do. But, no more of this half here half asleep mom. As another one of my favorite running songs says, "I'm a survivor I'm not going to give up!" Wish me luck!

Thanks for Making me a Fighter!

2008-12-30T08:33:00.000-08:00

Hello to you all. As I was driving with a friend the other night I was able to put into words what I have always known (thanks for listening Jen). Apathy is my enemy and I was spending way to much time with the enemy as of late. I had fallen into that, "good enough" trap and let's face it I was miserable there. Sunday morning I woke up with a fire in my heart for the first time in a long time and I was happy to have it there. I jumped out of bed and sat down with my planner and a pen and started making goals, big, small, hard, easy...all kinds. Things I want to do and things I should do. Then on Sunday my sister and my mom gave me a great gift. They volunteered to watch my boys so just me and hubby could go to Salt Lake for a Haitian Roots meeting I needed to be to. We talked for hours (I love that guy). We re-evaluated our goals and talked about all the things that we need to think about at home. When I run I listen to a song called "Fighter". I am not really a big fan of Christina Aguwhatever her name is, but I love the point of this song. In it she says "it makes me that much stronger, makes me work a little bit harder, makes me that much wiser, so thanks for making me a fighter." As I was running this morning and not just lolly gagging around I was all of a sudden thankful for all the things that have made me a fighter. I am glad I wasn't born super skinny because I have to work hard to stay in shape. I am glad the Lord gave me five boys, it's dang hard, but working to raise them has helped to raise me. I am grateful for a challenge because in the end I grow. So here's to the challenges that I have set for myself. Some are silly like cleaning out my disaster of a closet and some are a little bigger, like going back to school to get the master's degree I have wanted to get for 10 years. But, as long as I have goals that propel me out of bed in the morning and keep me up at night planning I will be alive and greatful to be fighting!

All Things Christmas

2008-12-21T09:38:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas to all of you! You know if you let it this season can melt your heart, even when it is feeling a little dark like mine was. Yesterday we went sledding as a family with my sister and my parents. It was so fun! Zooming down the hills (racing my completely unstoppable mother) was a true joy. Watching Micah having his first day out in the snow and loving every minute of it and seeing my boys all aglow with the fun of it was heavenly. Driving home from the hill we sang Christmas songs, Rudolph was a big hit with Lyndon throwing in add libs that had the boys laughing hysterically! Today we read the Christmas story while the boys drew pictures of that wonderous night. Grayson drew Sheperds, Jamen an adorable manger scene, Kyle drew the Sheperds being heralded by the angels, Isaac drew a space beam bringing the baby Jesus with a giant explosion in the sky....all things Christmas! Then we watched Mr. Krueger's Christmas...that would be one of my favorites (second only to It's a Wonderful Life). I cry every year when Mr. Krueger talks to the baby Jesus and I echo his words exactly..."You have been my finest, truest friend and I love you." I feel the same way. How I love my Savior. I am overjoyed to celebrate his birth this year. I wish all of you the best Christmas ever!

Thanks, I Think

2008-12-17T07:38:00.001-08:00

Well I have been both touched and mortified by all of you and your sweet comments! If you know me I am all about sharing...feel free to ask me how much the adoption cost, my love life or any other personal thing. However, I am not great at saying that I feel a little down. So I am so appreciative of all of the support but feel a bit traumatized that it is out there so to speak. Hi to Laura and Kim...I will be checking out your blogs today. Thanks to Jo for letting a whole lot of my kids play while I ran hard and fast. I am feeling so much better today. I was lifted by your comments, a phone conversation with EE, a good nights sleep and a handful of white chocolate peppermint popcorn. I hope that all of you are feeling well emotionally and physically this time of year and want you to know that I would be happy to hear about any of your "dark days" and hopefully have some words of encouragement for you. Thanks again for all of you sweet posts in response to my "dark side." What would I do without you all?

The Dark Side

2008-12-16T11:55:00.001-08:00

I have been avoiding the blog for awhile...I told EE it was because I didn't think I ought to be sharing the "dark side" with you my faithful friends. She says I should put it out there and that people are not put off to find us in a rut, but that you might feel that way too. I am not sure if it is the freezing weather, thyroid gone wild again or a little seasonal sadness but I am a mess. I find myself inbetween tears and bitterness and listening to angry chick music a lot. I am taking my usual approach and ordered a blood test for the thyroid, started reading a book called Happiness, Finders Keepers, and started running more and eating ice cream more (yes technically they cancel each other out, but I love them both). There are times in our lives when we feel overwhelmed and sad and when hope seems like a myth. I have been broken hearted over some of the heart ache I have seen on the behalf of others this year. I have watched friends and family have their heart broken and two weeks in Haiti is always enough to remind you that there is suffering no matter where you look. Usually I look at this as sure fire proof that we need each other and just want to dig in and do what I can. Lately I have had a hard time believing that what we try so hard to do is helping at all. Anyway, in this dark place I am grateful for the hope of the gospel. Our leaders tell us that the best is yet to come and I know they wouldn't lie. They say it gets darkest before the light and I guess now is the period filled with much darkness. The book I read was incredibly helpful and I am just going to put on a couple of quotes that helped me-who knows maybe some of you are leaning a bit toward the "dark side" right now as well...
*Life is really a battle between fear and faith, pessimism and optimism. Fear and pessimism paralyze men with skepticism and futility. One must have a sense of humor to be an optimist in times like these. Hugh B. Brown
*Enjoy your membership in the church. Where else in all the world can you find such a society? Enjoy your activity...be happy in that which you do. Cultivate a spirit of gladness in your homes...Let the light of the gospel shine in your faces wherever you go and in whatever you do. President Hinckley
*I think it's what's inside of us that makes us happy-our thoughts, the way we handle what's around us, and our deepest desires. Mary Ellen Edmunds
*If we criticize God or are unduly miffed over suffering and tribulation, we are really criticizing the Planner for implementing the very plan we once approved, premortally. Granted, we don't now remember the actual approval. But, not remembering is actually part of the plan! In the midst of vexing difficulties, since we "shouted for joy" in the premortal world, sometimes we may wonder now what all the shouting was about. Neal A. Maxwell

Phase #4-Kitchen Complete With Snow

2008-12-16T07:09:00.000-08:00

Well the house is coming along beautifully. We are contending a bit with the weather, but we knew that would be the case. We had hoped to have the roof on before the snow hit, but it's kind of funny that Lyndon has to go shovel the snow out of our living room each morning....This is all so exciting! Lyndon finished framing the basement and is having the best time...

To My Pals

2008-12-09T06:20:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about how much I love my friends as of late...I have so many kinds of friends. Some short (though now that I think of it none as short as me), some tall, some city folk and some country folk. Athletes, decorators, mom's, trend-setters, world travelers, nurses, humanitarians, folks that speak Creole as a first language and friends that listen to people speak Tongan all day and can't understand very many of the words! This is a toast to all of you. My high school friends were everything to me at the time (high five to you guys). Then I got older and moved off to college. I was nervous and afraid of being away from the friends I have always had. It took just a short time for me to find that I had found friends that would last a life time. The kind of friends that you don't see for months, then get together and pick up right where you left off. I love you guys. The adoption was a life changing thing for me. Along with the gorgeous son that I got out of the deal I also met some of my favorite people in the world. You maintain close to people who have seen you completely insane, sad, worried, depressed and at your wits end and just love you anyway. I am thankful to friends that "drag" me to Twilight and remind me it is OK not to be responsible every minute of the day. I am grateful to my crew that helped me understand and embrace homeschooling and all that goes with it. I am grateful for friends that are related (hugs to the mom and the sister). I need to send giant hugs to my BFF-EE, what would I do without you? If something good or bad happens my first thought is, "I need to call EE." You have dealt with me whacked out on low thyroid, pregnant and PMS'y. You have been there to discuss every book I ever read (that's a lot of discussion I know), plus you are subjected to my not so deep thoughts pretty near daily. You are the greatest! A little shout out (I know I am so cool) to by bestest of best friends, the hubby! You are so easy to love and I am honored to have you as my pal and eternal companion! I wish I had photos of all of you to post (you are all so beautiful and in one's case handsome), but of course my photos are all of my kids like all of the rest of you. Just thinking about how much I appreciate all of you today and wanting to say thanks for being my friends...

Christmas Greetings

2008-12-03T07:01:00.000-08:00

Those of you that I have e-mail addresses for got this little Christmas letter already. But, some of you great friends I don't have addresses for are getting it via blog. I pointed out that I would love to have sent handmade cards and home made gifts, but in the spirit of less is more (plus I am swamped) here is my Christmas hugs through my blog!

Kyle turned 10 this year! He had his birthday in Haiti with a whole group of adopting parents and volunteers. He spent two weeks in Haiti with me volunteering at an orphanage and for Haitian Roots. It was such an amazing, spectacular experience I was honored to have him with me. He is having his first year as a home schooled kid and that has worked out marvelously. He has found the love of his life….politics! He is absolutely crazy about politics and studies it constantly.

Jamen is 7 this year and attending the first grade. He has the sweetest teacher who loves him and works with his amazing ability to interrupt every five seconds! He remains the sweetest boy in the world and hasn’t met a person yet he didn’t think of as a best friend! He is reading up a storm and loving his new buddies in our new place.

Isaac is 5 this year! He is attending pre-school with Grayson and loves it. Isaac is all about Star Wars and anything weapons. He tells us he will be Kyle’s bodyguard when he is the President of the United States because then he gets to “pack heat”. Funny that I was going to be the mom that didn’t buy weapons…then he started making them out of carrots, blocks, well anything. Finally all that parenting wisdom went out the window in favor of a light saber…he is a joy and has us laughing all of the time.

Grayson is 4 this year! He is attending pre-school and has never loved anything more. He is a sweet boy who is very easy to please. He loves all things Dora the Explorer and loves to pretend to be a puppy.

Micah is 18 months old! My how time flies! He is so adorable, really not just mom talk, he really is. He is always happy, well as long as he is outside and with dad, other than that he can be kind of a grump! He is so beautiful and we are so grateful he joined this crazy family.

Lyndon is still enjoying his job. He has a big project going on in St. George this year so he is out of town way more than we like, but he likes it so much how can we grumble? His favorite thing this year is being involved with building our new home. In fact he is very much like a little kid at Christmas! We technically hired people to build our home, but Lyndon wants to help so much that he is around whenever he can be!

I am the mother of 5. That pretty much sums it up! I still love to read, run and scrapbook but don’t do tons of any of those things! My trip to Haiti was a huge highlight of the year for me and I am so grateful for a sweet husband who would take the time off and send me and Kyle off to a fourth world country with his love and blessing. I am also so thankful for the move to Monroe. This tiny town has been like a healing balm to each of us. I really feel like we have found the place we were meant to be. The place we are building is like paradise to me and I just feel so blessed.

We hope all is well with each of you and wish you a very Merry Christmas. Much love, The Friant family

Three Cups of Tea

2008-11-30T14:01:00.000-08:00

I am just a couple of chapters away from finishing what will be put on my shelf as one of the most influential and important books I have ever read. The book is called Three Cups of Tea. It is the inspiring true life account of Greg Mortensen. This giant of a man, in many ways, attempts to climb K2 only to find failure and ending up in a little village in Pakistan called Korphe. There he is nursed lovingly back to help by people who will become to him like family only stronger. After being there for some time he asks to be taken to the school. He gets to a place where a large amount of kids are scratching their multiplication tables in the snow with a stick. They do it with no teacher because they can only afford to have him a couple of days a week. He is so moved and I think inspired that he tells them he will build them a school....an absolutely inspring tale that will bring you to tears and have you re-evaluating your time and your life follows. At this time I think a lot about my desire to help find eduaction opportunities for the poor. You all know that I would happily sale all I own and move my family to Haiti to do it. But, the challenge for me is that I am needed here, doing what I can for Haiti often times from a computer or being willing to speak up and try and find help. However, I have the honor of raising five boys...maybe if I can soften their hearts and help them receive an astounding education they can make a much bigger difference than I ever could. That is my hope...After reading about Mr. Mortensen and the amazing Pakistani people he has the honor to work with the world becomes smaller and you feel you heart getting larger.
From the Book-Let nothing perturb you, nothing frighten you. All things pass. God does not change. Patience achieves everything. Mother Teresa
May I also take a moment and point out how blessed we are. When the war broke out after the attack on 9/11 Greg was in Pakistan. When it became time for him to return to America, his self appointed bodyguard was in tears. This man was willing to die for him, and would have been honored to do so. This is their conversation:
Greg: What is it, Faisal? Mortenson said, squeezing his bodyguard's broad shoulder.
Faisal: "Now your country is at war, what can I do? How can I protect you there?"
Faisal sees daily the tragedies of war, hears the bombs, sees the refugees filter into the cities by thousands, knows people who have died. He assumes that Greg is returning to Montana and will see the same things. We all know that just isn't the way it is.
We have experienced tragedy and I don't discredit that in any way. But, for the most part we tuck our kids in at night and we don't have to worry about bombs, starvation, if our children will ever have to leave or if our children will make it safely through the night. We are so blessed to be Americans! It is an honor, but with that honor I believe comes responsibility. May I encourage each of us to use our blessings for good. We all have something that means a lot to us. May we put our hearts into making a difference and that will be the best way we can thank God for giving us the priveleges we have been given!
From the book I quote a necklace worn by volunteer Julia Bergman heading into Afghanistan knowing her life is likely in danger, "I want to be used up when I die!" I know exactly how she feels.

Thanksgiving...Really I am Thankful...

2008-11-29T09:08:00.000-08:00

Let me begin by saying I am aware how blessed I am! Here is a short list of the things I am grateful for....
#1 My Husband-He is the greatest and I thank God everyday that he is mine.
#2 My boys-I mean really five adorable reasons for living, how blessed am I?
#3 Food. We are all grateful for that, but I think about that a lot since a lot of the people I love worry everyday if they will eat today.
#4 Running-Everyone needs a drug, this is mine
#5 Books, books, books. All the lessons, all the escape, all the knowledge...
#6 Modern conveniences-heat, washing machines, dishwashers...need I go on?
#7 My family. I love them and am lucky to have them.
#8 My friends. Seriously what would I do without you all?
#9 My Savior who is my life and means everything to me.
I really could go on and on. I have so many blessings and so many things to be thankful for. This Thanksgiving went a little different that I had planned. We were going to go to my mom's where we would have had a lovely dinner and basked in the warmth of my parents home. Little change of plans. Two of the boys had the flu so I was going to go with the other three and Lyndon would be sweet and stay home with M and J. Another change of plans, mom is reaching for yet another change of clothes for M and slips a disc or something in her back...spent the day screaming like a crazy person...Thanks to mom and dad for picking up the couple of not sick, not screaming Friant's and bringing us a Thanksgiving feast. No complaints, we have so much to be grateful for...

My Confession

2008-11-24T05:42:00.000-08:00

I think for me writing this is similar to standing in front of a room of people and saying out loud, “I am an alcoholic.” But, they say the first step is admitting you have a problem, so I am taking the plunge. Here it is, the whole truth “My name is Heather and I am a hopeless romantic.” Wow, that felt really liberating. Most of you know me as Heather the organized or Heather the responsible, but it’s just a cover up because on the inside I am really this whole other person. On my bookshelf you will find stacks of the classics, book on parenting, church non-fiction, books about people making a difference in the world and books on education. I love them all and devour it almost all of the time. Hidden on the top of my shelves however is the Twilight series. Now I am the very first person to say they are insane, that it is not the thing I would want my teenage daughter to read, and that the “Twilight mania is absolutely ridiculous. But, my great friend talked me into going to Cedar on Friday to see it (I really did act reluctant about it and I really kind of was). But, I was like every other swoony teen watching the movie and spent the last two days looking at my adorable husband through the eyes of my 16 year old self. I remember it well since I was looking at him that way when I was my 16 year old self. The same thing happened to me after watching Pride & Prejudice…all of a sudden there was beautiful piano music in my head every time my husband would walk into the room and I found myself thinking, “You have bewitched me body and soul and I love, I love you…” I mean really doesn’t that make you swoon? You can really almost say that with pride though, it’s a classic. But, Twilight? Really this is in fact a movie about a vampire falling in love with a human. The whole, “will he give in and eat her” thing is hovering on the edge of your thoughts the whole time. But, he doesn’t even though he wants to and let’s face it that’s pretty darn romantic! So now it’s out there. Lucky for me it’s easy to stay swoony because I am married to the ultimate and I am absolutely certain he will never give in and suck out all of my blood….

Love to Learn

2008-11-13T09:18:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a lot about what makes me, well, me....I am a woman who Loves God and hope that He knows it, I love to organize and admit that sometimes I let my kids make an organization disaster just for a challenge, I love to run and while running I listen to very loud often hard rock music...But, one of the things that really makes me me is how I love to learn. I love learning and teaching (I really learn more when I teach actually because you must study so much harder). I have already shared with you just how much I love my books. The other day my mother gave me the worn serendipity series, these are the books we had her read to us over and over again as children. I literally burst into tears when she gave them to me I was so happy. I also have thought about "school" a lot in the last couple of years. The answer that came to me is that there isn't one right way or wrong way to school...we do a lot of different things in our home and I love certain aspects of all of them. Kyle home schools. Jamen goes to a traditional public school. Isaac & Grayson go to a district pre-school for a few hours each week...So in tribute to that a little top six of why I love home school and public school...
Public School Pro's
6-I love preparing for school days. Love backpacks, sack lunches and school supplies.
5-My Jamen gets to be around lots and lots of kids, for him that is as important as breathing.
4-I get to be the mom when he comes home and not worry so much about the teaching. Not that I don't get to help him with homework or do extra things but it is in a mom role. I love how he comes home all lit up with news of his day and I get to just listen and fix him an afternoon snack.
3-I love when they take field trips or see the world as a group.
2-I appreciate my children learning from someone other than me, I think there is so much to learn from other people. When my children get an especially good mentor our whole family benefits. Last year Jamen had a teacher who was on fire for learning! He fell so in love with Van Gough that he marinated in it for months, I love that!
1-I love public school for Jamen because for him it works. He is happy and learning and that's all I could ask.
Home School Pros
6-I get to choose who his mentors are and he has some great ones. Jeanette has taught him more this year than he has ever learned anywhere (piano, government and history). She is also the kind of woman I want teaching my kids. (I will miss you Jeanette). Becky is one of his teachers for Knights of Freedom. He really is learning how to be a modern day knight and she is an excellent mentor for him. It is awesome to have the choice about who will mentor your kids and there are some great ones right here in small town USA.
5-I get the opportunity to teach. I love being a mom of toddlers, but it is so cool to fill the role of teacher. I have really had to stretch and that's good for the old brain. Let's face it the cobwebs needed to be dusted!
4-I am thrilled to see Kyle working at Kyle's pace. He had pretty near turned into a zombie for school the last few years. Not at all the fault of the teachers, but Kyle has always sort of been able to get something seeing it once. Sort of like, "we learned multiplication yesterday do we really need to ever go over that again?" This year we breeze through the stuff he knows and he gets to labor over the things he doesn't, that is so good for him!
3-I get to see him! Once your kids hit about first grade they sort of disappear....they are gone so often and then I think before you know it they are grown and you wished you could have seen them more. I get to be with him all day. I took him to a foreign country for two weeks and didn't come home to a pile of busy work. I love having him around and seeing who he really is.
2-Kyle gets to spend more time on the things he loves. My son loves classical music and plays the piano so amazingly well. Now he has more time to play and compose and that is good. He especially loves politics and studies it constantly. There are so many lessons taught from his passion. He knows all the states (and how they vote), he has studied math as he figures out voting percentages, his reading has improved because he reads some deep political things that are a stretch and let's face it the kid is a walking encyclopedia and that is cool. Ask him who ran against Richard Nixon second term, he knows. But I do want you to know that once you show an interest you will be game for all political discussion---ever seriously considered your position on gun control, Roe Vs Wade or government spending?
1-It is the right thing for him. I have watched my son come back to life this year. He has had great teachers in the past, by no fault of theirs he just wasn't challenged enough to find school interesting. He is so happy and I am so happy to see it...
As for the little boys, we all have our strenghts. Little people learning colors and such is not mine. I love that they have teachers that plan "smelling field trips" and other great things. I also love having a few hours without light sabers and tantrums! As for me, my ideal day would include a stack of books, a quiet place and a bag full of chocolate...

Halloween Cuties

2008-11-12T14:14:00.000-08:00

Just a pic from Halloween of the kiddos..This year was so much more pleasant than usual. The weather was great and we only went to about 10 houses so it was actually fun.

Phase #3 Hole Gets Some Guts

2008-11-12T14:10:00.000-08:00

Not much to say, just wanting to keep a little running log of the house. My hole would do nicely for a skating rink at the moment...I am getting really excited. We are so blessed.

To wonderful Not to Share

2008-11-11T14:13:00.000-08:00

http://perlasparlor.blogspot.com/2008/11/like-angels.html

I hope it is OK with my dear friend Shannon if I put a link to one of her posts. Except you have to type it in because I am way to computer illiterate to have a place for you to click...sorry. Haiti, Haitian Roots and the children of Haiti mean everything to me and her post summed up so much how I feel. The Lord is in charge and He does not forget his children, even if it seems to the outside world that He does. This week as my heart has been in Haiti (as usual) because of the tragedy at the school I was so happy my friend posted something so positive and wonderful about something that means so much to me. Check it out, she is an amazing writer tied closely to her wonderful heart....
PS The Photo of the adorable dad with the little girl is the one that Kyle sponsors. He was the sweetest man and kept saying to me, "God Bless You" over and over and all I could think was that He already had just by having the honor of meeting him.

I Remember You!

2008-11-05T11:21:00.000-08:00

I am just hours away from going away from my home WITHOUT CHILDREN! I am meeting my husband in Salt Lake for Engineer's Conference (translation he goes to boring meetings and I shop and have lunch with my college roomies.) We get to go to a fancy dinner and listen about the states best roads...this probably doesn't sound fabulous to you but we flirt with each other and hold hands and I could care less what they are saying. Anywho, I adore my husband. I have been in love with him since I was 16 years old, but with our lives sometimes I hardly even see him. He is always so good to me. For instance I told him I wanted York peppermint patties in the shape of bats. They are my favorite and for some reasons I like them even more when shaped like bats....Now I just sort of said it off hand, I really didn't expect him to look, just if he happened to see one grab one for me. Weeks go by, I have forgotten and I assume so has he. Yesterday he tells me, "I have looked EVERYWHERE for those bats. I called Hershey Pennsylvania today and they said I can't get any, I'm really sorry." I have the world's greatest hubby and for the next 36 hours I get to be with him and I am so grateful! Should we take a poll on whether or not my sweet mom will need a vacation after 36 hours with my boys?

A Little Clarfication

2008-10-28T10:12:00.000-07:00

It has been asked and I feel I need to clarify for those that wonder....A lot of people have assumed that since we went to Haiti we were down there to "make" another baby so to speak! The answer to that inquiry is a big fat "no"! I went down for a few reasons.
#1 I love Haiti. I feel the same way when I am in Haiti as I do when I am at a place I would consider home.
#3 I am a friend and supporter of Haitian Roots and wanted to be there to help where I could.
#4 I wanted to be with my adoption buddies again in Haiti.
#5 I wanted my son and I to be reminded that we have EVERYTHING and to get a good dose of gratitude.
#6 I wanted to help my friend Nichole who works like crazy to make things well for Hope for Little Angels of Haiti
#7 I wanted to meet some new adoptive parents. I have found some of my favorite people willingly agree to go to hell and back for their kids and they make some really great friends!
#8 I wanted to meet Grayson's biological brother. I think it will be important for them to know each other. I feel like it is absolutely essential that we help Gray to stay connected with where he came from. Haiti is what it is, but it was his first home and I want him to be proud to be a Haitian American
So that is why I went to Haiti. While I won't ever say never, because the Lord often has "surprises" for me that he knows I am not strong enough to handle being told about until the time comes, we are not planning on adopting again.

Fall Fun

2008-10-27T13:22:00.000-07:00

I am trying to get back from Haiti both in mind and body and it is finally occurring to me that fall is here! I love fall it is my favorite time of year. In the movie "You've Got Mail," he says that he would send her a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils, that makes me swoon! I love the weather, colors, foods, smells and activities that go with fall. I will admit I hate Halloween and just do my best to get through it! But, besides that it's my favorite...Pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, new school supplies and trees all aglow with fall colors would be my gift to you all this time of year....

A week in Haiti through the eyes of my 10 year old son

2008-10-23T11:34:00.001-07:00

Like what Charles Dickens states in the beginning of his book; A tale of two cities "It was the best of times it was the worst of times," though many of us feel we are so blessed, this made me feel even more blessed in the experience which I have just came from. When we came back on the plane, going back home, I felt the feeling of how this experience had changed my life. And how would this experience change, not just me, but my character and gratitude to the home in which I live in. We arrived on Monday, the thirteenth of October. Later that day, we went to Hope For little Angels of Haiti. The parents got their kids and I couldn't help but let out tears of joy. We went outside and were able to go give the kids treat bags. The kids smiles were bigger than I can express. That happy moment I still treasure. The next day when we went was picture day for those that did not have families. That morning we played with the kids. I blew bubbles. Then a girl, around six years of age, painted my fingernails. Of course, shocked to see my dark pink fingers, I was still happy to have made her happy. That brings up Boomerang. You may ask, "Who, in the world is Boomerang?" Well during pictures, a little boy around four came out. He had a family, so we did not take his picture. Now you still may be puzzled, about the name, but the name will be pointed out clearly. My mom asked me to take him inside, I did. One minute later back he comes. I am told to take him in again, he comes out again. In the next five minutes we became best of friends. We go back to the hotel with all the pictures taken. That night at dinner the parents sing to me. The waiters hear and then out goes the lights! "Happy Birthday to you" they sing. He offers me Ice cream, they ask if I want a drink. They bow to me, (Sarcastically) Just the typical restaurant fashion! Then the (Supposed to be) $6.00 ice cream, is taken off the bill! The next day we go sight seeing. We are met by rain. There we are in the van, it is raining! We open the windows all the way up. We then are able to eat ice cream. Two days in a row! The next night we attend Foyer De Sion, an orphanage. Grayson's brother is there and is named Samuel. Can you guess who he is named after? Well, if you can't than I'll tell you it was a bishop's wife who named him. There also was a Moroni, Nephi and Ammon! Now you probably have the perfect idea. The next day we say good bye to my mom's friends Nicole, Teresa, and her mom, Jolene. That day we are able to see Shannon Cox, another one of my mom's friends, she run's Hatian roots, an organization that sponsors kids to go to school www.haitianroots.com We had a party for the kids there. I sponsor Angeline Jozile. I met her and her brother, who does not have a sponsor, but was helped by general donation, we now are going to sponsor him. We held a lunch for them. I poured fruit punch and got it spilled all over me, I didn't care. I was happy that they were happy. The next day we went to church there. True, I did not understand the language, but I felt the same spirit. That night we went to Foyer one last time on that trip. Saying bye to Samuel and the other kids was hard, but I was glad to have met all these kids. After this experience I have felt a deeper gratitude for everything! And am grateful for this experience and how it has changed me.

I asked Kyle to write whatever he wanted about the trip for me to post. I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to have him with me. In all of the time that we were there he did not complain one time! This wasn't exactly your ordinary "vacation". Most days he ate trail mix and granola bars for every meal, was covered in sweat, and had all forms of baby poop, pee and throw up on him. It was boiling hot no matter where we went and his legs are covered in bites from mosquitoes and bed bugs. His response was "farewell my friends the bed bugs" when we left them! He had his fingernails painted, and his glasses taken off his face by curious kids, he found out just how many toddlers he could hold at one time and referred to himself as the "center of a good looking flower." I cannot for the life of me figure out military time and without a clock the only way we knew what time it was was if I took a photo with my camera. Then I would wake him have him figure out the time and then calculate the time difference. Most mornings he would say," mom it's 4 in the morning do you want to sleep some more or should we get up?" I don't know why I was so blessed to have him given to me to raise, but I adore him and am honored to call him my son...

Top Ten #2-Stories to Good Not to Be Told

2008-10-22T15:06:00.000-07:00

Haiti is filled with stories that are worth writing down. It may appear that God has forgotten these beautiful people, but through miracle after miracle we see that just isn't the case. I hope some of my new friends and old won't mind me telling some of their stories. They have inspired me and remind me that God is in charge. They are in no particular order of importance. Just as I think of them...
10-While riding in the back of a toyota soaked with sweat and pee from the baby's (not to mention water being dumped on me by my friend Nicole) I leaned my head out to try and get a little more comfortable and nearly had my head taken off by a passing tap tap then watched a man get ran over and killed all within minutes.
9-This story is much better told by the parents. I wish you could sit down and hear it from them. They tell it with just the right amount of smiles and tears. Mostly they tell it with humor and cynicism (as anyone who has ever adopted knows cynicism and humor becomes the "way to deal", which keeps you from screaming, crying and losing your mind). This awesome couple has had several adoptions fall through or be altered in many ways. It's heartbreaking and sad. This great mom refers to it as a private joke between her and the adoption God's that she does not find at all funny. After finding out just days before the trip that one of their children was taken back by a deranged uncle they headed to Haiti to spend some time with their daughter (another miraculous story). Shortly into the trip they were told that their son whom they loved and hadn't seen for 9 months would be coming back to them. The mother had changed her mind and decided to allow him to be adopted. They accepted the news with the "yeah I will believe that when I see it" attitude necessary. I got to be one of the people who brought that son back to them, sort of as a "surprise". We had him for 4 hours and he cried the whole time, the minute he was set into his daddy's arms he ceased crying immediately. Mom proceeded to ground him for the rest of his life saying, "you never call you never write." Tears streamed down all of our faces as we watched this joyous reunion.
8-I have mentioned before that I get to be a part of a group called Haitian Roots. They find sponsors for kids to go to school. School costs $250 a year and most Haitian parents have no chance of coming up with that kind of money. Some awesome people I know came up with the plan of finding people to sponsor the kids to attend school. We have the great honor of sponsoring two little girls. We got to meet them this trip and it was so cool. Vanessa's mom followed us everywhere wanting to help Kyle and I. This tiny little woman blew up soccer balls and tried to help us. Angeline's dad tried to talk to us the whole time, you could tell he had much he wanted to say. I have never wished to speak Creole more than that moment. Finally at the end he came over kissing my checks and in broken English said over and over, "God Bless You." If I ever wondered if I could come up with the money I certainly won't be wondering about that ever again.
7-We found out my sweet Grayson had a biological brother in the orphanage a few months back. He is almost one and we got to meet him this trip. Holding him had me bawling my eyes out for more reasons than one. He looks like Gray and sucks on the same three fingers. He is so beautiful. I held him as much as I could and was so happy to find that he has a family waiting anxiously for him in America. He was pretty somber, or at least I thought. When Kyle got a hold of him you couldn't get him to stop laughing or smiling. I find that interesting since Grayson has always adored Kyle as well. It was so wonderful to hold him and take pictures to share with Grayson some day.
6-I met another awesome family on this trip who went into this knowing that the Lord wanted them to adopt three specific kids. They found a family of two and planned to adopt them. They knew they would be needing to find the third. Short time later they get a call, "the mother of your children just brought in their baby brother" and now they are all a family.
5-We met a waiter at hotel Kinam who was so cute. He just had such a great attitude. He started asking us if we were Mormons. After asking us and finding we were he was telling us his story. He told of man who was "not so good man". Then he was baptized and now he is "brand new". We forget about being "brand new" and how blessed we are that we are part of a faith that makes it so we can feel that way.
4-I took a photo in the church of a sheet of paper that had the costs of traveling to the Dominican Republic temple on it. It looked worn and like people had touched it and looked at it a lot. I imagine these amazing friends of mind trying to figure in their minds how to get there. My friend Chaeryl pointed out that the total was more than most people make in 2 years. Chew on that one for a minute if you are an endowed member. I know I made myself sick thinking about my attendance.
3-When I met Vanessa's mom on Saturday she just had this overwhelming glow about her. She looked incredibly happy. She also looked like she hadn't eaten in a really long time. When I attended church on Sunday there she was! She ran over to me kissing me and pointing to me saying, "mormon?" I said yes and then there was more hugging and kissing as she pointed to herself saying, "mormon!"
2-On our trip down we stayed in Las Vegas and shared a room with my friend Nichole. We had to be up by 2:45 a.m. to make our plane. I slept restlessly dreaming all night that I missed my plane (and that Nichole was dating a kid from some show called "I Carly"). Anway I was relieved to look at the clock and see 2:45 so we could get this show on the road. I got up and showered and was just getting ready to kick Nicole when I looked at the clock. It said 1:00! The clock was turned funny and I didn't see the one! Pour Nicole didn't go to sleep until 12 and then her whack job friend is up and at it 45 minutes later!
1-On Friday evening we went to a performance in a home that a man named Father Michael began. He started out by rescuing just a few boys, most of whom were slaves. As time has gone on they now have 20 boys and a performing group of boys so amazing it takes your breath away. They went on to take over a home for mentally and physically handicapped children. As I sat there that night I felt that the spirit couldn't be any stronger anywhere in the world. The rain poured down around us, a rat was seen scurrying along the floor and the poorest conditions in the world surrounded us. With that said you have never seen more beautiful smiles and happy people as these boys who have risen above such amazing circumstances. One of the stories told that night was of the drummer named Bill. He was amazing as he played that drum! Father Michael told of how he had been a slave and one of his jobs was to go to the well for water. He would turn his bucket over while he waited in line and play his bucket. Later he had a home and has now traveled all over the world learning and playing for people. It was amazing to even be there. At the end we got to stand up and dance with all of them and I have never laughed so hard or "let go" more in my life. It was a night never to be forgotten!
I miss Haiti already and wish it were time to go back...

Top Ten #1-Things I Just Have to Say

2008-10-22T13:07:00.000-07:00

While I truly wanted to come up with some way to explain my trip that would rival the works of Walt Whitman all that I can seem to come up with is "top ten" lists. I have written about a thousand of them in my head this week and have decided this will be how I talk about my trip. This may take me about 100 posts, nobody feel obligated to read it this is more for me than anyone. I have to write things down to understand them and to keep them with me and so the next 100 or so posts will be mainly so I don't forget the last 12 days of my life....This first list is the things that I just want to say to the world that I should probably keep to myself. Haiti does that to me. Sitting next to my new friend Kelly I had to laugh at her donation plan. This beautiful woman says with severe sincerity, "oh my brother WILL be sponsoring a child even if I have to move his hand to write the check with my own fingers." Sometimes after you have spent a week literally watching children starving to death and watching people waiting in line for hours for the possibility that there kids might get to attend school all of the hand holding and petting you know you should do goes down the drain. So the top 10 things I have to say are as follows:
10-I have absolutely no call for whining about "too much" laundry to do. I am dang lucky I have clothes to wash
9-I spend a good portion of my life worrying that I am "too fat". Do you realize that my big gut means I have food to eat in abundance?
8-I get "overwhelmed" by how busy I am and how my kids have so many places to go and things to do. It should occur to me more often how blessed I am they have choices. Piano lessons cost money and they take time, while I was at church on Sunday in Haiti there was a piano but not in the whole packed congregation was there someone who had the blessing of learning how to play.
7-Sometimes I am aggravated by my kids bouncing off of the walls and making me crazy. Do you know that bouncing means they are well and healthy. I sat with children so starved that they didn't have the strength to move a muscle.
6-I live in a 3 bedroom rental that most people would think we are "crammed into". I myself have put on my martyr face about this place. I spent the week with a man who shares one small bedroom with his wife and two children in an orphanage packed with children. He says he would hope someday they would have a place for their family but he could never complain because "God is so good to us."
5-Sometimes church seems so difficult for me. Not the believing part, that part is as natural to me as breathing, but the taking 5 kids to church part. We have trouble sometimes filling our chappell's on Sunday. In Haiti the chappel was packed to capacity with people just thrilled to be there and honored to have the gospel in their lives. Half of them looked like they hadn't eaten in a year and not one face looked anything less than joyful.
4-Seriously when was the last time I thanked God for a garbage man and clean streets?
3-When my son broke his arm last week I drove him all of 10 miles to a state of the art hospital (yes my city friends it does count as state of the art) where he was taken care of quickly and efficiently. Because of insurance it also cost me very little. I then had the tenacity to complain that I had to watch him close for 10 days until it could be casted. I should have been grateful that the cast was coming and that he would be just fine.
2-I spent a week with a handful of adoptive families who had just a few days to try and put all the love they could into their kids in that time not having any idea when their children would be home. Some of them had already lost kids and knew to well that sometimes they don't ever come home. When I got a hold of my kids yesterday, especially my Grayson, I just held them and kissed them and thanked the Lord they are all here and they are all well. When was the last time I just let myself be grateful my children are alive and I get to be the one to take care of them?
1-I learend myself that if everyone made an effort to do just a little that we could make a difference. We have everything and I have seen first hand people that have nothing. Do you want to feed children that are literally starving to death? I can set that up. Do you want to help educate a child and make it less likely that child and her children and her children's children will starve to death, I can set that up too.
So this is the first of my thoughts on Haiti. I guess you can see why I am having a hard time explaining my week to people. I guess it needs to be prefaced when you ask with, "do you really want to know and do you want to see me cry....

Phase Two-Big Hole In Ground

2008-10-22T10:26:00.000-07:00

Hello to you all. I am home from Haiti and have been writing what I want to say in my head. However, I just feel like mere words cannot tell about my trip. I am trying to channel Charles Dickens so that it can be said with the poetic beauty that explains my week...Anyway while, "it was the best of times it was the worst of times" certainly sums it up I have so much more I want to say. So while I keep writing in my head, trying to find my floor and rid my laundry room of the essence of Haiti smell I thought I would take a minute to post "house news". The picture is of the hole that appeared in my land while I was away. They tell me this is good news and that in the not to distant future the hole will fill in to be my home. I had a little "laugh"/sick feeling to myself when I realized that with a hole, dumpster and port a potty on my land that I already have it better than most of my dear friends in Haiti....

Two Things That Hit Me Like A Ton Of Bricks

2008-10-08T09:09:00.000-07:00

A few posts ago I wrote about losing myself and being completely content in that. I really felt that way too, I felt like giving myself completely to my family was the way to go. While I believe with all of my heart that most of my focus should be there something happened along the way. The well of reserves dried up and what I was giving started to be no good. You have to take a bit of time to fill the well. So my husband bought me a treadmill (thank you sweetie) and I started taking the time to use it each morning. I have put it on my to do list to spend some time with my scriptures and don't start the day off without a prayer even if I have to say it with a toddler on my head. I have forced myself to get out of my pj's each morning and have even put make up on three days in a row. I am amazed at how much better I feel and how much more I have to give to my kids even taking time for just these few things. I also took the afternoon off from schooling yesterday so I could really clean and organize my home. While I believe I was spending way to much time cleaning before I certainly let it go way to far the other direction there for awhile! Anyway, here's to filling the well so I have more to give to those that need it.
Also, on another topic. I have taught young women, primary kids, Sunday school kids and my own kids for years. We tell them to "choose the right". We tell them to walk away if they are in a situation they should not be in. Last night I was so excited to be invited to hang out with some girl friends. I thought this would be good for filling the well and let's face it I have been desperate for friendship lately (I even made up an imaginary friend that I took running with me the other night), anyway now that you know just how nuts I am I will get to the point. I loved visiting with these friends. I wasn't thrilled when I heard what they had rented to watch, but these are good women so I thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Three minutes in I knew I needed to leave. It took me another 30 minutes to get up the courage to actually do it. It is hard to make right choices. It's even hard for not cool, mother of five me to do it. Imagine how our kids feel trying to make the right choice when friends mean so much to them. Anyway, just one of those things that is easier said than done.
I won't be blogging for a couple of weeks. Kyle and I are off to Haiti on Saturday. I look forward to sharing the trip with all of you when I get back!

A Big Shot Of Hope

2008-10-05T10:58:00.000-07:00

Thanks all of you for joining me for my pity party recently. My phone friends have listened to me whine, my blog pals have read it in print and my dear family has suffered through a mother speaking the ancient language, "Whinese". How grateful I am for the shot of hope delivered to me this weekend by participating in general conference. I have been given a much needed attitude adjustment. I was especially grateful for President Monson's talk this morning. He reminds us that one day I will miss the piles of laundry and toys that I will trip over. Mother's who are out of this stage tell me this all of the time, but I mutter under my breath about these well meaning women, "if you miss it so much I would be happy to drop over a handful of screaming toddlers at any time!" Funny how when it is coming from the prophet of God I take it to heart much better! I quote president Monson, "Never let a problem to be solved take precedence over a person to be loved." This has been my attitude to much as of late, "go away little boy, can't you see I am trying to make your life run smoother." Here's to me keeping the adjustement given to me this weekend. I am also grateful for the follwing things from conference that I want to keep with me:
-Despair is something Satan uses, not God
-Part of our victory as disciples of Christ is how we handle times when we are overwhelmed or discouraged
-Take heart, have faith and the Lord will fight our battles, our children's battles and our children's childrens' battles.
Life will not be any less difficult after this weekend for you or for me. However, with the right attitidue and with the Lord on our side there is nothing we cannot do. We can also be blessed to have joy while living it.

Until I Can See The End

2008-09-30T15:21:00.000-07:00

I try to write when I feel upbeat and ready to take on the world. I really try to write when I think that something I say will be positive and worth reading in the future. I am not sure that is what this post will be like today. Last time I talked about the importance of looking ahead and not staring at the road. Today I feel certain that I should be looking ahead but can't seem to lift my eyes from the road! I mentioned that while I yearn to simplify it seems impossible. As of late because of the busy I feel like all I do is only half done. Those of you who know me well know this is unacceptable to me. Yesterday I was thinking to myself, "Ok we made it through the day, not great but not bad" at that exact moment my son walked in with half his arm pointing north and the other half going south...we spent the evening in the ER getting the broken arm taken care of. They can't cast it for 10 days...the doctor says, "it will be fine, just make sure he is really careful until the cast is on." Easy for him to say, have you met Jamen? Short of keeping him home from school for 10 days and staring at him constantly I am not sure it is even possible not to plan on it breaking again. Today alone, "mom I just want to climb this tree, I will be fine. It's a little bike, not a big one I will just pop one wheelie...I already rested (for 21 seconds) so I am going to just go sit on the trampoline..."
I am reading John Adams by McCullough (I highly recommend it). I am at the part where Adams and Jefferson and most of the other members of congress are exhausted. They have signed and celebrated the Declaration of Independance and now they are mired down by the daily to do's of making this country what it is. When we moved here I felt as if the big changes that needed to happen were before us and it was monumental. Now, I feel mired down by the daily to do's that hopefully will shape these boys into the men they are supposed to be. I can only hope that one day, like Adams, I can look back and smile at this time and know it was all worth it. Wish me luck...

Looking Down At The Pavement

2008-09-25T16:49:00.001-07:00

I read the greatest article in the Ensign this month. It was called "Looking to The Lord". The thing I got out of it was that we need to spend more time looking to the future instead of focusing on what is right in front of us. For example, sometimes I walk into my laundry room and want to cry. I mean really, I can be pretty caught up and patting myself on the back and thinking I might be off the hook for a day or so and then BAM! Stomach flu. Or BAM! "Mom all five of us found a mud pit!" If you add that onto all of the other to do's that go with momming you can feel pretty overwhelmed. You get to the end of a day and you think, "OK I was busy all day, let me add up what I have to show for it!" And so you think, the toys are all out (again), the dishwasher needs to be unloaded (again), etc. etc. Then you come up with a big "nada" for the day. This article reminds me that a lifetime of laundry, dishes, cooking, car pooling, scripture reading, teaching, picking up, and so on and so on lead to something really major when I look at the end destination-Men. Grown up men who I helped to become who they are. That's pretty amazing you know. So here is recommitting to seeing down the road and doing a little less staring at the pavement.

Tyson Judd Bastian

2008-09-16T14:51:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note to celebrate the arrival of Tyson Judd Bastian. Tyson is the gorgeous new addition to my sister's family. He was born September 12th at 7:30 a.m. He weighed 6 lbs. 14 ozs. and was 19 1/2 inches. All went well and we are so happy he is here and safe. This time I got my brother and law to go home so I got to stay in the hospital with my sister for one night. I love that time when you know what is the most important thing. I also love being with my sister and think that especially since it is just me and her that makes our relationship pretty special. Welcome to the world baby boy!

Simplfy

2008-09-16T14:34:00.000-07:00

Simplify...I love that word. I love everything about it. Visions of quiet and hand holding are usually dancing in my head when I think about it. One of the main reasons I wanted to live even deeper in the country was because I wanted my life to be simpler. Here's my problem...I am beginning to think it isn't possible to live a simple life when you are the mother of five sons. I am all about good, better, best (what LDS mother isn't using that phrase repeatedly since the time it was given in general conference?) Here is my thing...Even if you chose only the best, when there are 7 of you under one roof everybody's best adds up to insanity around here! For example today:
-Hurried to shower before the troops stormed the gates
-Made breakfast for said troops
-Got Jamen off to school, always a major feat
-Got Kyle going on piano and school assignments
-Took a minute to snuggle barfy kid, then held his hand while he barfed some more
-Tucked him in front of the TV (yes, I know mother of the year)
-Found most of the surfaces that were lost in the morning chaos
-Fed and dressed baby
-Dressed four year old
-Helped Kyle with spelling and language
-Got baby to quit drinking windex
-Read stories to toddlers until I was horse
-Corrected math test
-Changed baby
-Made lunch for the kids
-Cleaned up lunch for the kids
-Got Kyle off to his history class
-Took a minute to read scriptures
-Made a list of all the things I am worried about, wrote another list on how to handle each thing
-Took some time to make lists for the boys of things they need to be focused on that are falling through the cracks
-Spent some time with Kyle discussing goals and some problems that have arisen
-Helped Kyle and Issac put together a painting project
-Baby woke up fed him lunch
-Started hustling everyone to the car so Kyle could take his BYU final,had to wait for Isaac to throw up. Woke Grayson who said "owie" when I woke him and when I picked him up found he was burning up. Checked temp...105.3
-Called sister and had the usual, "OK, is this worth a trip to the doctors office, when chances are they can't help you and you have to figure out what to do with everyone else in the meantime, including one that is sick with the flu?" Decided on no (neither of us have had a lot of luck with the doctor route actually helping us).
-Took Kyle to Richfield, on the way realized I had forgotten Jamen and he would be coming home to an empty house-called hubby and asked him to call a neighbor to get Jamen.
-That leads us to now 4:00 PM. Now the day gets really busy....
Everything that was done today was a best I think...but like I said add up seven peoples bests and simplify seems like a big laugh!

Just A Dream

2008-09-11T13:42:00.000-07:00

You all know that we are on the house building roller coaster. Before we even had our plans drawn we presented it to a builder to make sure it was in the price range. He assured us it was and so we moved on. This week we find that the "dream house" is just going to be that, a dream. The bids are way to high for my pocket book and my peace of mind. I just don't want my whole life to be about making a house payment. I have been trying not to be a brat, but I had my moment of tantrum when the dream of having a library was flushed away. However, this much I know. I want to be where Heavenly Father wants me and I know I am. As for the house I know he would have us use our heads and there is no peace in getting into something you know you will have trouble paying for. We are still planning to build and are in process of making the modifications necessary to fit in the budget. The bottom line to me is being able to be home with my boys...as for them feeling gypped about the loss of the house, not going to happen. I asked Issac what made a good house and he said that he thought a great big pirate sword would be important. That I think I can do! So good-bye to the dream house of old and hello to the dream that means more to me. My family, my commitment to financial freedom and my desire to live with what I "need" as opposed to all the things I "want".

Out Of The Mouth Of Babes

2008-09-06T19:29:00.000-07:00

One of the reasons I want to keep a blog is to record the great things that come out of my kids mouths so I don't ever forget....Here are a few as of late..
-We had just finished scripture study and Isaac, who was more reverent than usual speaks up.
Isaac: Mom I talked to Jesus this morning. He only talked to me though.
Mom: What did he look like?
Isaac: He was invisible
Dad: What did he say?
Isaac: He said be nice
Dad: How did he want you to act in primary?
Isaac: He said be good and don't bite. He is sitting by me tonight and he goes with me wherever I go. He also said if there are bees to go get your stuffed bear.
Dad: What does he say about you running away from your primary teacher?
Isaac: (holding two thumbs down) that's following Satan's plan
There you have it the wisdom of my now five year old son. I am laughing to hard to type anymore!