Reading With My Boys

Thinking new thoughts for a new year and wanted to introduce you to my new way of cyber communication...My new blog is all about reading with my boys...Check it out!
http://readingwithmyboys.wordpress.com/

Nudge From The Nest

I know I don't really qualify as a blogger anymore, but today I feel I must jot this down because I know from experience that things I think I will never forget are starting to fade.  I was teasing Isaac about baby Forrest, the conversation that followed has me certain that my 8 year old is one of the wisest beings I know.
Mom:  (pointing to Forrest) is this yours?  I told you not to leave your stuff laying around
Isaac:  Mom, he is your baby!
Mom:  Baby, huh?  Well what do you do with a baby?
Isaac:  Well, you feed him, love him and take care of him and when it is time you nudge him out of the nest.
Mom:  How do you know when it's time for this nudging?
Isaac:  When he has a job!

What wisdom my little man!  While I am still a ways from nudging my babies from the nest I know how quickly it is going and I am trying to find joy in the journey every day. 

The Mother Of Frankenstein and other Happenings

I remember back in the day when I carefully blogged my every thought racing to the computer to share it with cyber space just certain you were all breathlessly waiting to hear what I was thinking about next...Either one of two things has happened. Either I haven't had a thought in months or life with 6 boys managed to get even crazier...I can honestly say my mind is trying hard to have thoughts and I will just be on the verge of understanding the theory of relativity when I need to change a diaper or this week give my 13 year old a shower...So maybe it is a little of both.
So here is catching up the latest thoughts and happening in random order.
-A week and a half ago Lyndon took the boys ice fishing (home with one kid is like something so wonderful I can't explain it). Grayson called Kyle a sissy and Kyle took off after him, I am certain to participate in some peaceful conflict resolution and fell, hard. He landed full on his elbow and long story short managed to crack it in half in 3 different spots. He had surgery in St. George where 3 long screws were put in to hold my little Frankenstein together. He is healing nicely and is such a trooper it's almost annoying.
-The boys stayed with mom and Aunt Jen and they had the joy of caring for a baby recovering from an ear infection, a four year old Micah that got so sick mom had to take him to the Dr. to get a shot for an ear infection and a 7 year old Grayson who coughed all day and all night without ceasing...ahh... families what would you do without them?
-I have been thinking incessantly about the universe, spurred on by a PBS special with Stephen Hawking, is it to late to become a physicist? Also do you think that it matters that even now I still can't remember my 9s times tables?
-I think I want to be a librarian when I grow up or somehow spend all my days helping people fall in love with books...I am not really sure how to make that happen and at the rate I am going I'm not sure I really will grow up, but a physicist librarian sounds like a good match don't you think?
-I decided I wanted to be a Hemingway fan so I started reading my second book (I mean we have all already read The Old Man and the Sea thanks to high school English) so I began The Sun Also Rises....54 pages in and here's the thing...if you can get over the cussing (which I hate) you basically meet a bunch of lazy people who do nothing of true value for the world and spend their days in the pursuit of entertainment...though it has been against my personal creed I have decided that particular Hemingway book is not going to get finished...Anyone have a love for Hemingway and a suggestion of a book that might convince me you are right?
-Running and Zumba continue to be my out and I am addicted to both. I attended a Zumba dance thing the other night that was one kids celebration of his 24th birthday. The place was packed with half dressed teens that were bouncing off the walls like a kids with ADHD on Kool Aid. When we started they were dancing hard and laughing theirselves silly. The party was supposed to last for three hours. Two hours in and these kids were beat. I had to laugh when they quit early saying "two hours is a long time." I am comforted with the thought that us old folks may not have the enthusiasm of the hare but like the turtle I would have kept going if the dancing hadn't stopped!
-And last but not last night...last night at Zumba I got as close to a girl as possible without invading her private space so I could read the tattoo on her back...it said "I wasn't sent here to blend in." I had to laugh and cheer the sentiment (if not the tattoo). I think what I love most about it is she had to be about 17 and I wanted to give here a hug for getting that already.
And so dear readers, if I have any left, or any of you that made it all the way through this, may I say here's to not blending in and living your own life the way it is supposed to be lived.
PS. As usual this post contains random pictures of my kids because like all mom's I believe them to be the most beautiful art work in creation.

Teenagers...

I am getting accustomed to life with a teen. We have all the normal things going on. Constant eating, a zit, a smell that would rival the smelliest thing ever, being able to visibly see the growth in him (especially his feet), eye rolling, arguing...you know teenagers. When his friends come they eat like it is their last meal and hot dogs, pizza and ice cream go in and out of here like you wouldn't believe! I am accustomed to feeding his friends, they are welcome here. We have made it clear that we want him to feel comfortable inviting whomever to our home and we will make them feel welcome. He tested that by his choice of "friends" yesterday. As previously mentioned my son loves politics (vote for him in 2036) and he is very actively involved. He is a big supporter of Cherilyn Eager ever since she ran for senator. This year she is running for congress and Kyle invited her to come to Sevier county and she consented. He has been so excited preparing for her coming. Two nights ago we found that would include having her come here for dinner...umm...hot dogs and Doritos prospective congresswoman? After some conversation we banished our children, sans Kyle of course, to grandma's for dinner. I borrowed a table cloth and cloth napkins from my neighbor, heaven knows I don't own things like that! Anyway long story short it was a success. She, of course, was lovely and gracious and Kyle and her had a fantastic political chat including her asking him to be the county coordinator for her campaign...teenagers, next time you openly tell your kids to invite whomever they want you might want to think about what that might mean!

13 Amazing Years

13 years and where has the time gone! You showed up and changed everything, most of the time I have had no idea what I am doing, but boy have I loved figuring it out with you. So here it is, and though you will roll your eyes (careful they might get stuck that way), a tribute to my son a week after his 13th birthday...You were so tiny when you were born and grandma nicknamed you "bird lips" I called you "bugaboo" (for some reason you don't like that anymore). You fit right in dad's big hand pretty comfortably. You cried constantly (even when you were sleeping). You are passionate about EVERYTHING. When you were 6 you were dead set determined to be a composer (much to grandpa Friant's chagrin), but went on to become an amazing pianist and violinist often writing your own music. You have a strong sense of justice and fair play. When you were young this meant that if people got in your way "watch out!" For example a boy in our neighborhood was beating up on your cousin and so you stabbed him with a fork, fortunately as you grew older (about 8) you channeled that anger into government and then and there decided that you would become the president of the united states. You haven't wavered from that and now we have to silence the conversations about politics for our own sakes! You and I can really be two peas in a pod and our idea of a good time is a nice dinner and hours and hours and hours and...well, you get my point in a book store. This year you started high school at Williamsburg Academy and are tearing up the scene at this amazing school. You really surprised us though when you joined the basketball team, who would have thought that my little musician, politician, book worm would also become an athlete. When you were 7 you made a goal to get your Boy Scout eagle at 12, you were disappointed in yourself when you finished the project the weekend of your 13th birthday. You are happy and loud all of the time...you sing at the top of your lungs (that goes for yelling as well), you adore BYU and look forward to being a student there and graduating from law school there. Just this year you got taller than your old mom (which let's face it isn't a big deal), but by taller I mean 4 inches taller. You now have bigger feet than your dad at a size 12, if you catch up with your feet you will be a giant! You know what is right and you live it with all of your heart. You are a gift from heaven and I am honored to be your mom. Happy 13 years my boy, I love you!

Forever Is Not Long Enough

Warning: This e-mail will make you throw up if you are my 13 year old son or the kind of person who doesn't do mushy... There are lots of ways that I know that God loves me. He has blessed me so abundantly that I could start counting my blessings and continue on into infinity. However, there is something that He has done for me so magnificent that it makes me want to recite poetry...He gave me my husband. It's been nearly 20 years and everyday I love him more than the day before. Don't get me wrong we know how to fight like nobody's business, two passionate people sharing a life together means a little of that I am afraid. But, as time goes on we spend little time fighting and lots of time grossing our children out. He makes everyday worth getting up for and there is nothing we wouldn't do for each other.

We have some guests staying with us for a few days. Their names are Sparky and Sophie and they are our friends mules. They are "mowing" our field. The boys were "helping" Lyndon move the gates and keeping track of the mules when one of them got free. Our neighbors have horses and were out so all of us were standing perimeter calmly trying to get him returned safely. My neighbor who is your all time cowboy jumped on his horse with his lasso to help out. Lots of tries later the mule was still out and at this point kicking at our neighbor trying to get him to go away. He got behind a fence and we were a little concerned since he was out of the cul-de-sac. Lyndon got behind the fence and just stood there looking at the mule. Within a minute the mule walked toward him and let him get his rope. Smart mule. Even animals know when they are in good hands...sigh...forever is not long enough with this man. Though my husband would enjoy the lyrics to a Motley Crue song much more than the poem I am including below, I include it anyway since it has always touched me and seemed so true of our life time love. Sorry Kyle, feel free to commence throwing up now! Lyndon, I love you baby.

My True love hath my heart, and I have his,
By just exchange one for another given:
I hold his dear. and mine he cannot miss,
There never was a better bargain driven:
My true love hath my heart, and I have his.

His heart in me keeps him and me in one,
My heart in him his thoughts and senses guides:
He loves my heart, for once it was his own,
I cherish his because in me it bides:
My true love hath my heart, and I have his.
Sir Phillip Sydeny

Running Parable #3

I have to tell you...running is pretty simple. I don't mean that in the "yes I easily ran 10 miles today" kind of simple. I mean in the throw on a pair of shoes and your all set kind of way. With that said. When I first started into running pretty seriously I found that I was having a major problem with my feet. Blisters, and pain were a constant and my socks were so bloody you would assume that I bought red ones instead of white ones. I couldn't figure it out and so I decided to take myself to the big city for a new pair of shoes. But, I decided that this time I would ask the experts. I went to this great running store in Provo where the salesman do their jobs to support their running habit and know exactly why your feet look that way. They even smile like they understand and they are proud of you at the same time. They listened to me, and then headed to the back room and came back with a tower of shoe boxes. Their counsel, "try every pair on all the way and then go running". So there I was running up and down this strip mall for an hour. That was kooky but the kookiest thing was when they suggested that I wear a size 9, ummm I wear a 6 and 1/2. They smiled and said, "trust us and if we are wrong bring them back". They seemed quite certain I would not be back. Anywho, long parable short, they were spot on. I haven't had a blister in 8 years no matter how many miles I have run. I have been through 6 pairs of the shoes they suggested and when the soles are literally falling off I buy a new pair.

The parable part starts now. Life, unlike running, is anything but simple. This world is tricky, scary and confusing. We could just be stuck here unaware of how to handle things, unaware of what to do. For me I feel deeply blessed to have the gospel in my life. The gospel is filled with direction and experts that counsel us in a way that makes the world seem a little more blister free. I am especially grateful that twice a year a prophet of God and many others meet to give us counsel and advice about how to handle everything that is placed before us. Like running, the goal in my life is to endure to the end, finish the race and to have all those I love with me at the finish line. This can be pretty hard to do in this crazy world we live in, but this gift from my Heavenly Father sure fits comfortably around my heart and helps me run this race with less pain.

Running Parable #2

When I decided to run a marathon in my usual full disclosure kind of way I told everyone that I knew. I get so excited about things and I just assume that my enthusiasm is catching and so off I shot my mouth to anyone that would even pretend to listen. Imagine my shock and surprise when people did not react enthusiastically! I got lots of reactions and most of them could be chalked up to, "you are nuts, a total masochist, seriously what is the matter with you?" Completely shocked me! I have learned though that so often the things you feel inspired to do make no sense to the outside world...you are a nut....a complete lunatic, and people feel open to say whatever is on their minds if they think they are saving you from yourself. This has happened on so many things I have wanted to do! Adopt a child from Haiti, home school my children, get rid of TV channels, move out in the middle of nowhere...Well my enthusiasm isn't catching but I am maintaining it anyway! Sometimes you have to just get out there and run whether it seems crazy or not!

The Running Parable-#1

Running is one way that I have spent many hours of my life. I started after I had my second child and became a fanatic after my third child. I am like the turtle, though I never win the race. Since I don't run fast I decided to run far and that has meant lots and lots of hours, usually just me and my IPOD and my mind that never turns off. Over the years I have come up with a lot of running parables and decided I better start keeping track of them before the lessons are all forgotten. In high school the worst torture I could imagine was that one LONG mile that we had to run for our fitness test. After about 2 yards I would get a cramp in my side and be certain that I was going to die any minute. After kid number 3 I got this brilliant idea to run a marathon and I began running following a schedule. I learned early on that cramp or no cramp I had miles to cover and that I had to keep running anyway. I learned something amazing, you can run with a side stitch, a broken toe, the flu, hundreds of mosquitoes attached to every part of you not covered by clothes, depressed, worried, ligaments ripped out in a knee, with a headache...you get the idea...No matter what you can run!

I think this particular lesson has been invaluable to me and boy am I using it right now! I have a cramp associated with parenting! I am tired, I have a headache, I feel broken down, I am certain that I should be doing better, I have a pile of laundry on the floor that I am afraid to tackle certain there is a monster hiding underneath it (we have been camping for a week), I am remembering what life is like with a a baby who is mobile and can and will get into everything (I spend much of my day fishing stuff out of his mouth so I don't have another child who needs to have a penny surgically removed from his throat, I have already had two), are you getting my point? Back in the old day this would be a signal to me that it's time to check out. With the help of my running parable I can see that now is the time to grit my teeth and dig in! I can parent even with all of these cramps in my side and hopefully, just like when I run after a few miles (sometimes as many as 10) it goes away and that runners high shows up, here's to the parenting high that I just know has got to be in there somewhere!

I've Lost My Mind, Have You Seen It?

OK...we all have those moments when we are a bit absentminded or random or whatever, and then there are some of you who get to feel that way all of the time due to real life adult ADHD, but I have a new one for you. I think maybe I have developed this as an adult of 35...I have always been great at focus, not so great at thinking outside the box or fun, but focus yes. Now I find myself sort of aimlessly wandering from thing to thing never quite figuring out what I was doing in the first place...It's very strange and a bit unnerving. I can't for the life of me read a book and find myself reading the same line over and over and not having any idea what is going on. My friend suggested we take a little note of the things we want to talk with about to each other since we don't catch each other often, but I explained that I would have the thought, head for the paper and by the time I stopped to wipe up a spill, put on a band-aid, changed a load of laundry, unwrapped a popsicle, refereed a fight....I would have forgotten what it is I was thinking on the way to the paper...I stopped to find my train of thought so I could explain this more in detail to you, but lost my train of thought...I sure hope it comes back someday! In the spirit of the random thoughts here goes the wandering now...I am going to women's conference tomorrow with my mom and sister, can you say woo-hoo? Talk about spiritual feast, throw in the girls, laughter and a mint brownie and you have a recipe for perfection! My son Jamen is playing baseball this year and got pegged in the eye at bat last night...we are talking wicked cool black eye, his response, "I was just so glad I didn't strike out," boys are so cool. My son is playing this song for his piano recital and I could never tire of listening to it and love that he is playing it for an hour a day...listen to it, it's awesome! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMpDrjT0TUI I just finished read The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family...I loved it, I highly suggest it for all families. Well the mind appears to have gone blank again...so have a happy random kind of day. I have to wonder if now it will be possible for me to be fun or to think outside the box, that would be nice...wish me luck on that.

It's Getting Better Now

In this high tech day and age you really get to know someone by what you hear when their phone starts ringing! I have been shocked and amazed at some of the ring tones I hear feeling like I am getting a glimpse of the soul of someone just from that little blip! You can really meet my husband when you hear his phone. It is a headbanging beat with the song "It's getting better now" by Tesla, a hard rock hair band from the 90s for all of you culturally more refined folks out there. You have to understand that this husband of mine is an engineer and deals in either black or white. He is scared to death of change and has a ritual for everything from the way he towel dries after a shower to how he makes his oatmeal in the morning. So this has been quite a year for this guy! He ended the summer with a new baby boy (#6) he started the holidays with a diagnosis of diabetes, and he is beginning the spring with a new job. This has been the most gut wrenching decision that he has ever had to make and after two great job offers he finally decided on becoming an engineer at Jones and Demille. I know that it will be great for him, because though he hates change he is an never ending optimist and truly does believe that "It's Getting Better Every Day."
While I should have been learning from him over the last 20 years it wasn't until I read the book "As A Man Thinketh" that the power of thought began to sink into me. I have done pretty well at doing the things that I "should" for awhile now. However to often my thoughts did not reflect my actions. Examples: I would make dinner for my family often times thinking "I live in this kitchen, they will whine about it anyway, what is the point? I almost always eat right and exercise 4-6 days a week but I always have the thought, "I am fat, always have been always will be." While doing laundry I always sing the theme song to "The Never Ending Story", I mean talk about a self fulfilling prophecy! OK on the last one with six sons there may be no hope to finishing it....But, I am beginning to see that I have really reaped what I have sown in the garden of my own mind and I am working to change that day by day. Here's to right thinking and to a beautiful year to go with it (let's face it, it may be that long before I post again!)

Check it Out

If you look on the right of my blog you will see that Erin's esty store is on display there. May I suggest to each of you that you take a peek. Erin is my BFF and the most talented girl I know. She could make mud beautiful! You will love what she has done in creating jewelery, she even inspired me to buy some and I don't even like jewelery! Check it out!

You know your in trouble when...

You begin to find profound symbolism in the shower...so I just got home from Zumba and I was taking a shower. My shower contains the same things most of yours do...shampoo, conditioner, soap, rescue heroes, dinosaurs, cups and a figurine of Maggie from Little People, you know the usual. I am rinsing off and I notice that Maggie (the only girl type person in all of the play items in the house) is face down in a cup of water. She is on the floor and the dinosaurs and the rescue heroes are looking down at her from the ledge. The dinosaurs are smiling and the rescue heroes look like they are in a conga line having a great time...doesn't anyone see that Maggie is face down in the water? I am afraid I feel a little like Maggie right now. I am just plain worn out from the winter blahs....I feel like a giant whiner baby for saying one word about it. I mean listen to my complaints and see if they could easily go on a list of things to be grateful for...First, my kids NEVER leave the house and while in the house they destroy every thing in sight. Second, my baby has been sick for a week and he coughs and pukes and doesn't sleep much at night. Third, my treadmill up and died on me when it is 20 degrees outside with a sheet of ice on the road, I have been running with the ice, but let's face it at my age I am liable to fall and break a hip. Fourth, it's dark when I get up to get the kids ready for school and Isaac is arguing about having to go to school in the middle of the night (let's face it the kid has a point) Fifth, my husband pointed out to me that I am a grumpy beast. This was a little disheartining since I feel like I have never worked harder to not show that I kind of want to punch everything in sight...What you want me to quit whining now...point well taken. I have everything to be thankful for. How many people wish for a house full of kids to clean up after, a baby to take care of, snotty or no, two legs that can run, and a husband to be put out with. So while I am perfectly aware that I have everything to be grateful for I find myself muttering, "Heavenly Father help me endure my blessings today..."

The Mother of All Ironies

Lyndon and I have a handful of things that we just say to each other. At this point in our relationship we almost don't even need to say them because we just know they are coming. For instance when I make him mad (or vice versa) we say, "read my mind," which translated means "bite me", but we have 6 kids and don't want them to talk that way, hence the code words...we have lots of these. One of the ones that have been around forever goes like this...He says, "I love your butt" in which I reply "I love your pancreas". I know we are weird, sorry that's just how we are. Anyway the point of this post is that after all of these years of me telling him that I love his pancreas the darn thing up and quit working....that's right my hubby is a diabetic. A few days before Thanksgiving he listed off some really strange symptoms and since his brother has been diabetic since he was 14 he knew he needed to have it checked out. After a few doctor visits and a trip to the ER we seem to have figured out what is going on. He is a type 2 diabetic (this was hard for everyone to conceive because he is skinny and super active, but as for now the medication sans insulin is working pretty well). We have both responded in our typical way to respond to things. I am on about my 16th book trying to understand and he is getting the cliff notes version from me. He has a shelf in the fridge and a shelf in the cupboard. He will be annoyed that I posted this because he is a hush hush kind of guy. I have debated on this and here is the bottom line. If you love me you love him and I want you to put him in your thoughts and your prayers. I have been writing a post in my head for about a year titled, "10 reasons why you should marry a guy with ADHD", you can't believe the stuff the guy can accomplish in an hour, but at least for now that guy seems to be gone. He is tired, he hurts, and generally he is not himself. This is what I have found out in all of this. I LOVE taking care of him, he has always insisted that he take care of himself. I am honored to be his wife and while he doesn't love all this attention he is getting it anyway....even the boys stand in line to be the ones to poke him to check his glucose! Also as a side note, I have become obsessed with all things healthy! We really can't accomplish much when our health is crummy and after a year of pregnancy and recovering from a c-section, and this diabetes thing I am completely committed to making some necessary healthy changes in this house...I won't bore you with the details, but let me tell you I am on fire....

This One’s for the Girls

A few posts ago I wrote about the Book Wild At Heart, in it we learn what makes a boy a boy. I am now reading the book titled Captivating which is the same authors about what makes a girl a girl. While I don’t agree with everything (like their take on Eve for instance), it has given me some food for thought. They suggest that women need three things: to be romanced, to have an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and a beauty to unveil. As I first began to read I thought that it didn’t really apply to me because I have never been a real “girly girl”. As a child I planned to be a fighter pilot in the air force (I think that was inspired by Top Gun)! However, as I read on I find that in all honesty I really, deeply want all of these things! So as I take a peek at my life I have to send kudos to the hubby for a life time (almost) of doing a pretty good job at romancing me. Last week he sent me 35 roses on my 35th birthday and visited with me while he took me for a surprise pedicure (my toes look smashing)….However with that said I have to admit the other two are kind of nagging at me. I mean don’t get me wrong I walk on the wild side all of the time. Just last week I put a pair of running socks on that are labeled for the right and left feet on the wrong feet and I seriously left them that way. And, just moments ago I poured myself a bowl of raisin bran and it was all flakes and I had to use my Macgyver instincts and rustle me up some raisins….Bottom line, I am having a hard time seeing my sock pairing, diaper changing, taxi driving life in the light of an adventure. Now there are some who would argue that raising 6 boys qualifies, but today I crave something big! As for the beauty thing, me, myself and I have fought about this since the beginning of time. I am about as captivating as the back of a macaroni and cheese box! So girls what do you think? Are these really the three needs that we have as women? I have to say that in those moments before I fall unconscious from a long day (if I’m not in the middle of beating myself up over what a terrible mother I am), my dreams tend to fall into these categories every time…an unexpected surprise date, riding on a moped from village to village in Haiti with my handsome husband curing disease (OK in this dream we have some medical skills), and being invited to a ball and looking beautiful (a little unrealistic here-hubby is 14 inches taller than me and neither one of us can even dance the hokey pokey)….What about you? Romance, shared adventure and beauty, are you feeling it? The picture is of Lyndon and I after we ran a New Years Eve Race together....for the full story go back to February 2008. That was romantic, a shared adventure and nothing makes me feel more beautiful than a hard run!

"I'm Not An Angel, I'm A Cowboy"

Last night Micah was snuggled in dad's arms and dad says "your an angel" to which my three year old responds "I'm not an angel, I'm a cowboy!" I liked that. I think that is true of my life too....When I think of angel's I think clouds, all in white, quiet and harps. When I think of a cowboy I think of utility, dressed to get the job done, maybe a little electric guitar and much noisier! My life is noisy with the exception of this moment, which to tell you the truth is a little odd. So just a few things in random order....
First off my oldest baby (yes he is still my baby) turned 12 last week. He was ordained a deacon in the aaronic priesthood, rode his bike 50 miles to complete his cycling merit badge and the doctor confirmed that he is now exactly the same height as his mother. How I love this kid!
Second, Friant baby number 6 is two months old and we are crazy about him. He has a very strange schedule but he is just starting to smile at us so we don't care.
Third, we are now 2 months post baby and you know what that means, running is all a go again. Woohoo! I have been at it for around a month and a half and while I am certainly not breaking any records for speed I am doing it and that makes me happy! I am also hitting all the Zumba classes I can because that is a super good time. I am sure you would all like to join me. Heck, I can't imagine anything funnier than a middle age woman with 0 coordination jamming out to Britney Spears, come and just watch me make a fool of myself, you can get your workout by laughing! Here's my theory. You have three types at these classes...(1) Looks great, knows how to dance, should be in a rock video. (2) A little unsure so they go at it half hearted not wanting to make fools of themselves, barely breaks a sweat (3) No idea what they are doing, but there to work up a sweat and so they throw themselves into it anyway! I happily fit into category #3. I don't know what I am doing but I throw myself into it anyway and grin the whole time.
This by the way is my new motto on life: I have no idea what I am doing, but it's awesome so I am going to throw myself into it anyway and grin the whole time! COWBOY UP!

The Boy Becomes A Man

I just finished reading a book called Wild at Heart. It's all about men and what they need to be men. I felt this was an important read for me since I am not a man, married to a man and raising six potential men. This read came at just the right time as I was confronted with a biggie this morning. In the book we are told that men need three things: A battle to fight, a beauty to rescue and an adventure to live. I have one boy who is working very hard on becoming a man and is doing a mighty fine job. Kyle will be 12 next month and he has done a lot of growing over the last year. Yes, I mean size wise (he wears a size 11 in men's shoes now), but I mean all the other ways as well. This summer he went with dad and the scouts on a week long 50 mile hike, he went with our county commissioner to the Utah Republican convention, he took on the project of mowing a sweet lady's lawn in our ward each week (and this isn't a city lawn...it's huge) and he has worked along side dad with all of the projects dad has had going this summer (and with Lyndon there is no half way). So back to this morning....My son woke up and informed me that he had one more thing to do to get his Star rank in scouting. He said he needed to hike 20 miles and that he would be doing that today. I immediately said no way and began to list all of the reasons why that was not a good idea (I would list them for you, but you are mom's you know what I am talking about). He calmly told me to check with dad, that this was all worked out. You know the movie Father of the Bride where she tells her dad she is getting married and he pictures this little 6 year old in pig tails? This is what I see sometimes with my big boy. I saw it this morning, a little freckle faced 6 year old who loves Power Rangers saying, "Mom I am hiking 20 miles today alone I should be home around dinner time." Lyndon keeps telling me that this is how a boy becomes a man and my greatest wish is that these boys become like that man so I need to trust him. I put gobs of sunscreen on him and plopped that hat on him that I bought for him when he was 6 (so big then, barely covered his head this time), and tried to act cool. He has the IPOD and was looking forward to a day of listening to Glen Beck's Book of Common Sense and conference talks. He will stop half way in Annabella and grandma will make him lunch and fuss over him and then he will come home. I feel myself wanting to give that lecture so many times given to me that used to make me so mad, "love them to pieces because before you know it they will be grown up and you will remember this as the best time of your life."

White Flag of Surrender

We watched a movie the other night that was so strange that we had to keep watching just to see how it ended. At the end we looked at each other and said, "what?" It wasn't until the middle of the night in a quiet house that I got it and could see perfectly how it applied to my life. In the movie an 11 year old girl goes to the national spelling bee. Her dad has coached her for months but at the same time her mom is having her own little break down. At the end mom is in an institution because she is has been stealing little things to make modge podge decor to try and put the "pieces back together". The little girl is desperately trying to please her dad and at the same time trying to "save" her mom. In the end she is about to win and she purposely misspells a word that she knew. I was confused, she could have had it, why did she chose to lose on purpose? As soon as she looses, however her family is healed. That confused me. However at 3 in the morning with my sweet baby in my arms I got the point.

I have had in my mind a picture of what my home and family life should look like for a long time now. In that picture you would see a clean home, healthy meals and snacks, order and a place for everything. In that picture are one on one dates with the kids and the hubby, kind words spoken and voices that are never raised in anger. You would see mom and dad faithfully fulfilling their callings and doing their home and visiting teaching. I am huge into learning and so the kids would be at home learning and we would be reading voraciously for hours a day. I also believe in exercise so mom would be running and the kids would also have an active life. Mom would study, because mom loves to study and the kids wouldn't spend more than a small amount of time in front of the TV or computer. My food storage would be caught up and organized and I would be baking my own bread each day. Those are just a few of the things that I have seen in "my picture."

Last week I could clearly see that this little picture of mine was me being like that 11 year old girl. I was desperately trying to "spell" every word right and in the meantime those around me, myself included, were falling apart. I called my husband just sobbing, at work no less. Saying over and over, "I can't do it anymore!" Jamen and Isaac were homeschooling, but miserable and making everyone that lived here miserable right along with them. The sweet baby I was blessed with from heaven is a very needy baby and I was trying to hold him with one hand, correct math worksheets with the other and do laundry with my toes. It finally ocurred to me on the phone with hubby that it's true I can't do it and the bottom line is WE DON'T HAVE TOO!

So there I was choosing to misspell a word on purpose. Jamen and Isaac went back to school (two weeks late I might add) because they wanted to be there. I turned the laundry over to Kyle (it's not nearly as neatly folded or caught up as I want it to be), I quit nursing my baby (even though I know darn well it's better for him) because I have low milk supply and he was starving and cranky all of the time.

None of these things fit into "my picture" of the way things should be, but you know what? I am throwing the picture out. I am raising the white flag of surrender and turning my broken down self and family over to the Lord and doing the best with what I have got. Right now I have 6 sons who need mom to be gentle and happy more than they need to have a deep understanding of Charles Dickens. My husband needs a wife that doesn't greet him at the door in tears because she has marinated in those kids for so many hours that she just wants to run away. All of the things that have been in my picture are good things. I really meant well with every single thing. However, the Lord in his wisdom gave me 24 hours in a day and frankly with the life He has given me I can't do everything all of the time. You know I could probably do all of the things on that list, but the cost may be my sanity. The cost may be peace and harmony in our home in order to have the larundry folded perfectly and I don't want that. So for today three of my kids are in school and happy to be there. One of my kids is still home because he wants to be. He spent the morning reading Hamlet to his three year old brother, playing the violin and doing laundry. My darling baby is sleeping peacefully for the first time in days all filled up on formula and happy as can be....

Forrest Rex Friant

He's Here! Just a quick announcement about the new addition. Forrest made his debut on Monday morning, August 9, 2010. The c-section went beautifully and he was perfect right from the start. He weighed 7 pounds 5 ounces and he was 20 1/2 inches. This is supposedly a big baby, but he must be built like a Friant because newborn clothes absolutely drown him! He is sweet natured and puts up with lots of kisses and being passed around a lot! The boys adore him. Micah always wants to "pet baby Forrest" and Jamen thinks he is so sweet "he just can't stand to be away from him." I am recovering well and am happy to report that other than a wierd seizure pre c-section and a couple of rough days post I am feeling so much better! Well baby is crying, off I go to hug and cuddle my miracle!

6,7,8,9,10

We are busily preparing our home for our new arrival. I'm not sure why we feel we must deep clean every nook and cranny of our homes and organize like crazy people to bring a baby home, but for some reason we must. Now I have brought home a lot of new babies and never once has one of those babies said, "boy this place could use a good cleaning." However, I can't help myself, I can't stop cleaning. I am having so much fun in my head with the thought that my 6th son will be born at 7 AM on 8/9/10, I giggle every time I think of it and I think about it a lot! For those of you not counting down the seconds like I am that is exactly 8 1/4 days from this minute....I told Lyndon that I think I would even endure my c-section sans meds just to have it done with! In the mean time we are all getting a kick out of just exactly how large a persons ankles and belly can get. People have been really nice to pretend like I am so tiny and they can't believe that I am due already, but my honest friend (thanks Nic) cannot believe a human being can get this huge. She delivers babies for a living so she has seen her share of pregnant women! Anywho, I will probably be off the air for awhile, but just wanted to share a little of our excitement.

The picture is Lyndon with our baby Micah.