Parenting-The "moments" theory

First a big hug to all of you for pretending you would be heartbroken if I were to sign off forever! Boy you guys are good! I think I might have to many soap boxes to leave for good, but I always think I will quit because I am a technology "hater". I totally should have been born in the Little House in the Prairie time period (exceptions-washing machines, electric light and air conditioning...wait there really are a lot), but I really hate cell phones, computers and don't even get me started on my feelings about texting....I digress...
Today is Sunday (translated the day you should feel close to God, but the day that at our house is a fight from morning to end). For some reason Satan seems to come to stay for all day so that we can't possibly feel the spirit and I told husband that I thought maybe I had decided the best way for me to go was to drive off a cliff...to which he replied, "take me with you my love." I really would like to be fired from this gig today, but let's face it there is no one willing to replace me and though I don't feel so thrilled with my kids right now the bottom line in they are mine and so I have to forgive them for their wickedly bad choices of today.
An apostle (don't remember which one) and an author have a theory about parenting that I really liked. Warning I am not quoting them, but instead putting my twist on it. If you want the spiritual or well written read them, not me. The theory goes something like this, "parenting is made up of moments that make it all worth it in a sea of things that make you wish that you couldn't give birth or adopt children..." Ohhhh baby does that ring true. In my world there is no such thing as a good day, and very rarely is there a bad day. One minute you are driving home and your sweet two year old is yelling "mom" and you say "What?" and he yells "chicken, bock, bock!" and you laugh and all the other boys laugh and he thinks he is so funny that he belly laughs and does it all of the way home...."Ah", you think, "this is what life is all about". The next morning you wake up to little people screaming, "I hate you", "If you cook it I would rather die than eat it." Then you think to yourself, "I surrender, I give up" and you reach for a cookie. Then it occurs to you that this isn't a job at the local gas station. You can't quit, that's called child abandonment. So you send your son to bed at 6 because you have run out of creative punishemnts and he has way over stepped the bounds this time (again) and you pace around wondering if the Lord knew what he was doing when he sent you five babies that need to be turned into men of God and mostly by you....
So, here's to the moments...they are going to be few and far between sometimes, but I am almost sure that those will be the things your kids remember if you are really trying to be the mommy the Lord sent you here to be...Here are just a couple of mine.

• Getting ready for church today I see Isaac grinning with a thumbs up and he says, "mom sometimes you are so beautiful I can't stand it."
• Grayson napping in my arms through church
• Kyle setting a goal not to lose his temper or be grumpy for a month because, "he doesn't want to let me or the Lord down anymore."
• Driving home from science camp with Kyle and my mom laughing hysterically and thinking over and over, "he is so amazing, how did I get so blessed?

I hate that quote that says "life isn't measured by the amount of breaths you take, but the moment's that take your breath away." When you are the mother of five kids there are lots of moments that don't take your breath away (well, unless you count the ones that make you feel like you have been kicked in the stomach...) If that's the case, then life isn't much! So much of what you do is so not like that. But, those few moments thrown in mixed with daily TLC, forgiveness on both sides for messing it up, and renewing your committment to the little monsters (sometimes hundreds of times a day), to me that is parenting...that is why I am here and so though I don't "quit", for now it's only because faulted though I may be these blessing are all mine! Heavenly Father help me today to endure my blessings!

Multiple Personality Disorder Girl

I have a friend whose blog I read...on that blog she has a list of blogs titled, "Blogs I read that you shouldn't" Like any good defiant teen of 34 I couldn't help myself from looking them up and then spent the next hour reading one and laughing so hard I almost peed my pants (apparently if I am like most women near my age I will be doing that soon anyway). After reading it the blog posts started filling my mind and I realize there is an inner conflict in me that battles almost constantly, either that or I have multiple personality disorder. Let me introduce you to the two Heather's...On the one hand we have Typical Mormon Housewife Girl...This one works hard to keep things neat, orderly and happy. I home school and as of yesterday own chickens. I make my own bread and read to my children like crazy. We do morning devotional and have family home evening. I read parenting books and make charts for everything. We attend church every week and I love the Lord. I can bear my testimony with tears and I mean every word of it. I believe in family and at the moment have five children, but still don't consider us a large family. I drive a mini van. I adore my husband and have been married to him since I was a child (19 almost 20). I have a fake Scentsy candle wafting out lovely smells most of the time. I try to do what is right, I spell check and do food storage inventory. I used to scrapbook and know that I will probably start doing it again. You know her, sometimes you don't like her very much....let's hear it for Typical Mormon Housewife Girl!

Now may I introduce you to the other me! To friends like EE, Nic and T this girl is not really a shocking revelation...to most of you, you just won't believe it! I have to bite my tongue almost constantly not to say the inappropriate sarcastic remark that I have for almost everything that is said. I think motherhood is wicked hard, harder than anything I have ever been faced with and some days there is nothing I would like more than to turn the job over to someone else. I hide candy from my kids and then hide myself so I can eat it without them. My husband's perfection sometimes annoys me to death and sometimes I swear just to see his eyes get all big. I have read Twilightmultiple times and I think it is stupid and a waste of time, but though the other me thrives on the productive use of time, this girl likes to waste it on anything remotely entertaining (may I also add mindless teenage chick flicks here). The other me is already worried that keeping it real will offend so many of you that I try daily to be like. Most of my friends appear to enjoy their children and love them so much that butterflies appear to be shooting out their faces every time they look at them. Sometimes when I wake up I make a rule that my children can't talk until I have had a shower. They never actually shut it, but I still say it. Point being there is a lack of butterflies shooting out of me a lot. Some of you know her, most of you don't. But, this is me anyway so a big round of applause for Psycho, Immature Full Grown Teenage Girl!

I could yammer on until the end of time. But after spending two days with a friend recently I realized a couple of things. First off, people don't like you if they think you are really and truly perfect. It makes you completely unapproachable and it's just not real. Second, I am tired. I am tired of trying to be "perfect". I am not. My children are not. The husband I love and I can fight better than most people, we also know that doesn't mean it's the end for us. I am going to try and live in peace with these two women. I know that some of that "evil" stuff needs to be tweaked (not like tweaking which I learned from my friend is mom's on meth), but you know improved. But, like it or not I just might be both. The me that hates holidays, parties and social gatherings and the me who plans each of those with a theme and a clean house because it is the right thing to do....who do you like best?

So feel free to write whatever you think about this...Some of you will go with the typical perfect response "oh Heather, none of us are perfect, but we just love you, love you no matter what." And that will be greatly appreciated. Or you can say what you are really thinking things like:

• "You weren't fooling anyone we always knew you were a loser"
• You can leave tips of the best places to hide while eating peanut butter M&M's
• "Sarcasm is an art, feel free to use it."
• Feel free to introduce me to your alternate self, I would love to meet her!

I spell checked this, but I am not taking the time to find a fitting photo to match...In the future, if I chose to continue to blog which personality do you prefer. Gorgeous pics of my kids in matching outfits in the perfect seasonal setting or me ranting on like an old version of Avril Lavine with no musical talent?

Where's Heather?

Usually I am writing a blog post in my head at all times. For the last month that just hasn't been happening and I have been trying to figure out why. Last night I think I found the answers...First off, I have been crazy busy. Quick re-cap: moved into new house, had lots of friends visit new home, went camping, finished up school year, etc. Second, lots of things have thrown me "off". Quick re-cap: everyone got the flu (including me), I broke my toe (yes again), and I got into a car accident (no worries we are fine). I also have been helping (but let's face it mostly watching) my husband put in out yard. If you know my husband you know the energizer bunny has got nothing on him. He works like crazy and whistles the whole time. Quick re-cap: put in sprinkling system, planted grass, built sandbox, planted garden, built flower boxes and planted them, planted 12 trees and built the mother of all chicken coops. I also have been arguing with myself about whether or not I plan to remain in the blogging world. So with that out there how about some comments on why you blog or don't and why you think I should keep at it or not...