A Part of Me Is There

Over the last six years I have fallen in love with a country and a people that have been in my heart, on my mind and in my prayers every day since I was first introduced. Some of you are getting your first introduction to Haiti and maybe even pulled out a globe to see where in the world this tiny place is. I have been trying to write a blog post about how I feel about all of this, but as you know my blogs tend to be silly or off hand and there is nothing either silly or off hand about the disaster in Haiti. If I let myself think to much about it I feel as if I will begin to cry and never stop. A few of my concerns

• The people I know (and the ones I don't) who have waited months and often years, kids rooms painted, hearts broken over and over again wondering when their kids will be home. Now they pace around wondering if their kids are even alive and if so what will all of this do to the already nightmare process of getting them home.
  
• My hero Bishop Harry Mardy and his family who I am told is pretty much living in an LDS parking lot with, among others, all of the kids from the Foyer orphanage in Petionville that was destroyed. They are desperate for food, water and medical care. While there he is grieving the loss of his mother and sister who were both killed in the quake.
• My Haitian Roots kids who I love so dearly. Of the 100+ kids we know that 10 are OK, the rest is unknown.
• My sons other mother. I always thought of her and I as partners and pictured taking our son to meet her again someday. Will I ever know if she is still here?
  

Because several people have asked me I will let you know of two ways that I know of to donate. On the right hand side of my page there is a place you can donate money to Haitian Roots or Hope for Little Angels of Haiti. If you feel inclined go there to donate and just write "to be used for the disaster" and all of your money will be used for that purpose. The Haitian people are suffering and this is not your typical group of wimps here. They are tougher than most of us ever thought of being. I love them. I worry about them. I am praying for them and I love knowing that you are too. Don't stop. Don't forget them.

Yes the whole world revolves around me...

I had made a decision not to blog until I felt better, didn't want to whine and complain in print. However, my new thought is that if I blog about it I won't feel a need to whine incessantly to any one who will listen. I am going to see if it works and if it stops me from being all about me to the next handful of people that are nice enough to ask how I am doing, then you won't want to read this for awhile. So how am I you ask (not that you asked, but for the sake of argument let's pretend the whole world really does revolve around me)? You know how I love lists so let me give you top 10 reasons why I am not OK...
#10 having been ill for nearly two months now there is nothing left in any grocery store anywhere that hasn't made me me sick and so therefore I can't eat it again...
#9 my son said that he loved me because I used to take care of him, but now that dad does it he likes my hair
#8 reading makes me dizzy, that's right my favorite past time can't happen
#7 running keeps me sane, unless you count running to the bathroom then you can imagine just how sane I am
#6 the track marks and bruises up my arms from the hospital make me look like a druggie
#5 though I appreciate the sometimes 5 pounds I lose in a day, bulimia apparently isn't going to work for me
#4 an allergic reaction to an IV drug at the hospital turned me into an embarrasing raving lunatic threatining to rip my IV out, my poor sister stood in the hallway waiting for the nurse because she was to afraid to be with me
#3 I haven't gotten dressed in a month and my adorable husband probably is starting to think the women at work look kind of cute (note my husband works construction and for the most part he has NEVER seen a girl at work that he would have noticed wasn't a guy)
#2 I have little to no participation in my life...it happens without me and I am to sick to even notice most of the time.
#1 you never know how much your family needs you until you are right here and can't do anything for them. I see all of them suffering because of me, me, me and it breaks my heart into a million pieces...
So big thanks to my sweet friends and family who call and ask how I am doing and then endure my tearful whining. Big thanks to those who have brought food (or offered to do so), cough drops, herbal remedies and groceries. Huge thanks to those who have offered to take my kids if I need them to. Big thanks to my darling sister who endured one of the most difficult nights I can remember by my side. Did I mention I know how blessed I am and I really love this little creature? I do and I know this to shall pass, I just wish it would pass a little quicker...