Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Thanks for Making me a Fighter!

Hello to you all. As I was driving with a friend the other night I was able to put into words what I have always known (thanks for listening Jen). Apathy is my enemy and I was spending way to much time with the enemy as of late. I had fallen into that, "good enough" trap and let's face it I was miserable there. Sunday morning I woke up with a fire in my heart for the first time in a long time and I was happy to have it there. I jumped out of bed and sat down with my planner and a pen and started making goals, big, small, hard, easy...all kinds. Things I want to do and things I should do. Then on Sunday my sister and my mom gave me a great gift. They volunteered to watch my boys so just me and hubby could go to Salt Lake for a Haitian Roots meeting I needed to be to. We talked for hours (I love that guy). We re-evaluated our goals and talked about all the things that we need to think about at home. When I run I listen to a song called "Fighter". I am not really a big fan of Christina Aguwhatever her name is, but I love the point of this song. In it she says "it makes me that much stronger, makes me work a little bit harder, makes me that much wiser, so thanks for making me a fighter." As I was running this morning and not just lolly gagging around I was all of a sudden thankful for all the things that have made me a fighter. I am glad I wasn't born super skinny because I have to work hard to stay in shape. I am glad the Lord gave me five boys, it's dang hard, but working to raise them has helped to raise me. I am grateful for a challenge because in the end I grow. So here's to the challenges that I have set for myself. Some are silly like cleaning out my disaster of a closet and some are a little bigger, like going back to school to get the master's degree I have wanted to get for 10 years. But, as long as I have goals that propel me out of bed in the morning and keep me up at night planning I will be alive and greatful to be fighting!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

All Things Christmas

Merry Christmas to all of you! You know if you let it this season can melt your heart, even when it is feeling a little dark like mine was. Yesterday we went sledding as a family with my sister and my parents. It was so fun! Zooming down the hills (racing my completely unstoppable mother) was a true joy. Watching Micah having his first day out in the snow and loving every minute of it and seeing my boys all aglow with the fun of it was heavenly. Driving home from the hill we sang Christmas songs, Rudolph was a big hit with Lyndon throwing in add libs that had the boys laughing hysterically! Today we read the Christmas story while the boys drew pictures of that wonderous night. Grayson drew Sheperds, Jamen an adorable manger scene, Kyle drew the Sheperds being heralded by the angels, Isaac drew a space beam bringing the baby Jesus with a giant explosion in the sky....all things Christmas! Then we watched Mr. Krueger's Christmas...that would be one of my favorites (second only to It's a Wonderful Life). I cry every year when Mr. Krueger talks to the baby Jesus and I echo his words exactly..."You have been my finest, truest friend and I love you." I feel the same way. How I love my Savior. I am overjoyed to celebrate his birth this year. I wish all of you the best Christmas ever!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Thanks, I Think

Well I have been both touched and mortified by all of you and your sweet comments! If you know me I am all about sharing...feel free to ask me how much the adoption cost, my love life or any other personal thing. However, I am not great at saying that I feel a little down. So I am so appreciative of all of the support but feel a bit traumatized that it is out there so to speak. Hi to Laura and Kim...I will be checking out your blogs today. Thanks to Jo for letting a whole lot of my kids play while I ran hard and fast. I am feeling so much better today. I was lifted by your comments, a phone conversation with EE, a good nights sleep and a handful of white chocolate peppermint popcorn. I hope that all of you are feeling well emotionally and physically this time of year and want you to know that I would be happy to hear about any of your "dark days" and hopefully have some words of encouragement for you. Thanks again for all of you sweet posts in response to my "dark side." What would I do without you all?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The Dark Side

I have been avoiding the blog for awhile...I told EE it was because I didn't think I ought to be sharing the "dark side" with you my faithful friends. She says I should put it out there and that people are not put off to find us in a rut, but that you might feel that way too. I am not sure if it is the freezing weather, thyroid gone wild again or a little seasonal sadness but I am a mess. I find myself inbetween tears and bitterness and listening to angry chick music a lot. I am taking my usual approach and ordered a blood test for the thyroid, started reading a book called Happiness, Finders Keepers, and started running more and eating ice cream more (yes technically they cancel each other out, but I love them both). There are times in our lives when we feel overwhelmed and sad and when hope seems like a myth. I have been broken hearted over some of the heart ache I have seen on the behalf of others this year. I have watched friends and family have their heart broken and two weeks in Haiti is always enough to remind you that there is suffering no matter where you look. Usually I look at this as sure fire proof that we need each other and just want to dig in and do what I can. Lately I have had a hard time believing that what we try so hard to do is helping at all. Anyway, in this dark place I am grateful for the hope of the gospel. Our leaders tell us that the best is yet to come and I know they wouldn't lie. They say it gets darkest before the light and I guess now is the period filled with much darkness. The book I read was incredibly helpful and I am just going to put on a couple of quotes that helped me-who knows maybe some of you are leaning a bit toward the "dark side" right now as well...
*Life is really a battle between fear and faith, pessimism and optimism. Fear and pessimism paralyze men with skepticism and futility. One must have a sense of humor to be an optimist in times like these. Hugh B. Brown
*Enjoy your membership in the church. Where else in all the world can you find such a society? Enjoy your activity...be happy in that which you do. Cultivate a spirit of gladness in your homes...Let the light of the gospel shine in your faces wherever you go and in whatever you do. President Hinckley
*I think it's what's inside of us that makes us happy-our thoughts, the way we handle what's around us, and our deepest desires. Mary Ellen Edmunds
*If we criticize God or are unduly miffed over suffering and tribulation, we are really criticizing the Planner for implementing the very plan we once approved, premortally. Granted, we don't now remember the actual approval. But, not remembering is actually part of the plan! In the midst of vexing difficulties, since we "shouted for joy" in the premortal world, sometimes we may wonder now what all the shouting was about. Neal A. Maxwell

Phase #4-Kitchen Complete With Snow

Well the house is coming along beautifully. We are contending a bit with the weather, but we knew that would be the case. We had hoped to have the roof on before the snow hit, but it's kind of funny that Lyndon has to go shovel the snow out of our living room each morning....This is all so exciting! Lyndon finished framing the basement and is having the best time...

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

To My Pals

I have been thinking about how much I love my friends as of late...I have so many kinds of friends. Some short (though now that I think of it none as short as me), some tall, some city folk and some country folk. Athletes, decorators, mom's, trend-setters, world travelers, nurses, humanitarians, folks that speak Creole as a first language and friends that listen to people speak Tongan all day and can't understand very many of the words! This is a toast to all of you. My high school friends were everything to me at the time (high five to you guys). Then I got older and moved off to college. I was nervous and afraid of being away from the friends I have always had. It took just a short time for me to find that I had found friends that would last a life time. The kind of friends that you don't see for months, then get together and pick up right where you left off. I love you guys. The adoption was a life changing thing for me. Along with the gorgeous son that I got out of the deal I also met some of my favorite people in the world. You maintain close to people who have seen you completely insane, sad, worried, depressed and at your wits end and just love you anyway. I am thankful to friends that "drag" me to Twilight and remind me it is OK not to be responsible every minute of the day. I am grateful to my crew that helped me understand and embrace homeschooling and all that goes with it. I am grateful for friends that are related (hugs to the mom and the sister). I need to send giant hugs to my BFF-EE, what would I do without you? If something good or bad happens my first thought is, "I need to call EE." You have dealt with me whacked out on low thyroid, pregnant and PMS'y. You have been there to discuss every book I ever read (that's a lot of discussion I know), plus you are subjected to my not so deep thoughts pretty near daily. You are the greatest! A little shout out (I know I am so cool) to by bestest of best friends, the hubby! You are so easy to love and I am honored to have you as my pal and eternal companion! I wish I had photos of all of you to post (you are all so beautiful and in one's case handsome), but of course my photos are all of my kids like all of the rest of you. Just thinking about how much I appreciate all of you today and wanting to say thanks for being my friends...

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Christmas Greetings

Those of you that I have e-mail addresses for got this little Christmas letter already. But, some of you great friends I don't have addresses for are getting it via blog. I pointed out that I would love to have sent handmade cards and home made gifts, but in the spirit of less is more (plus I am swamped) here is my Christmas hugs through my blog!

Kyle turned 10 this year! He had his birthday in Haiti with a whole group of adopting parents and volunteers. He spent two weeks in Haiti with me volunteering at an orphanage and for Haitian Roots. It was such an amazing, spectacular experience I was honored to have him with me. He is having his first year as a home schooled kid and that has worked out marvelously. He has found the love of his life….politics! He is absolutely crazy about politics and studies it constantly.

Jamen is 7 this year and attending the first grade. He has the sweetest teacher who loves him and works with his amazing ability to interrupt every five seconds! He remains the sweetest boy in the world and hasn’t met a person yet he didn’t think of as a best friend! He is reading up a storm and loving his new buddies in our new place.

Isaac is 5 this year! He is attending pre-school with Grayson and loves it. Isaac is all about Star Wars and anything weapons. He tells us he will be Kyle’s bodyguard when he is the President of the United States because then he gets to “pack heat”. Funny that I was going to be the mom that didn’t buy weapons…then he started making them out of carrots, blocks, well anything. Finally all that parenting wisdom went out the window in favor of a light saber…he is a joy and has us laughing all of the time.

Grayson is 4 this year! He is attending pre-school and has never loved anything more. He is a sweet boy who is very easy to please. He loves all things Dora the Explorer and loves to pretend to be a puppy.

Micah is 18 months old! My how time flies! He is so adorable, really not just mom talk, he really is. He is always happy, well as long as he is outside and with dad, other than that he can be kind of a grump! He is so beautiful and we are so grateful he joined this crazy family.

Lyndon is still enjoying his job. He has a big project going on in St. George this year so he is out of town way more than we like, but he likes it so much how can we grumble? His favorite thing this year is being involved with building our new home. In fact he is very much like a little kid at Christmas! We technically hired people to build our home, but Lyndon wants to help so much that he is around whenever he can be!

I am the mother of 5. That pretty much sums it up! I still love to read, run and scrapbook but don’t do tons of any of those things! My trip to Haiti was a huge highlight of the year for me and I am so grateful for a sweet husband who would take the time off and send me and Kyle off to a fourth world country with his love and blessing. I am also so thankful for the move to Monroe. This tiny town has been like a healing balm to each of us. I really feel like we have found the place we were meant to be. The place we are building is like paradise to me and I just feel so blessed.

We hope all is well with each of you and wish you a very Merry Christmas. Much love, The Friant family