Tuesday, May 12, 2009

My Dilemma-Being in Several Places At Once

This year a big part of my problem has been my inability to be in more than one place at the same time. I understand why cloning ethically isn't really a great idea, but if it were available I might be tempted. I think if I could clone myself I would have one me just available for my sick children! I am not kidding you when I tell you we have had every thing going around this year. As soon as one kid recovers he is always nice enough to share it with brother and so on and so on (it's the only thing they share willingly). Just in the past two weeks, the following scenarios have been my reality:
-Isaac had the flu, but I had hopes it was better and so we headed to the Cinco de Mayo celebration with our home school group. Picture enchiladas, hot sun, dancing the macarena and a sick stomach...yeah it was that good...
-Last week had a busy day planned and when Jamen woke up his head was swelled up the size of a balloon...Move everything so we could go to the hospital for a cat scan and find the allergic reaction is causing pressure on his brain...
-Two weeks ago I was doing something that I love almost more than anything....sleeping...I am woken by my sleepwalking son who needs to go to the ER to have his head glued together at one o'clock in the morning...
-Today we have a great home school activity planned, a May Day celebration complete with May pole and bartering. I was up all night with Jamen who now has the flu...
Motherhood has turned me into a flake. I used to be punctual and you could count on me to be somewhere. Now I feel like I need to say, "you can count on me, well maybe..." I am telling you I would be the most together mom on the block, if I didn't have any kids...

Monday, May 4, 2009

Passionately in Love

In March I attended a Thomas Jefferson Education conference that I go to every year. I already reviewed the “biggies” for me on my blog, but I feel a need to go into a little more detail on one of the points. In one of the classes I attended on social leadership one thing really hit me like a ton of bricks. Now, when I think of social leadership I was thinking charity work, global thinking, training our kids, etc. Those things were mentioned but one the strongest points was that we need to have a strong marriage. Dr. Shannon Brooks stated, “if your kids aren’t telling you that you need to ’get a room’ frequently than you have a problem.” His point wasn’t just that we need to love our spouse, be nice, follow the golden rule and all that, but that we should be passionately in love with our spouses and our kids should know it. That has been my focus since the conference (honey I hope you have noticed!) I have always loved my husband passionately, but most of the time it was in my head while folding laundry. Now, I try to think to myself, “the laundry will be there after I kiss my husband and tell him he’s the best.” You know what the laundry was happy to wait and it was pretty great to see hubbies smile and the kids saying “eww gross” with giant smiles on their faces. What better gift can you give your kids then to show to them that the people that are in charge of them are crazy about each other and that they are a team? I just finished reading Behind Every Good Man by John Bytheway, what a great little book. It is filled with wisdom, but the bottom line is, you are not going to MAKE your husband into what he should be. How do you feel when it appears someone is pushing, nagging or critical of you? For me, I think, “yeah well forget it neener neener.” The same is true for your hubby. You catch a lot more flies with honey (or something like that) and even if he doesn’t change into what you think he should, the more you love him the less you want to change him at all….

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Get Used To It Or Retire

Sometimes blogs are for venting...this is one of those for me...I read a blog entitled "we are that family" the other day. I had to laugh at this mom because I think it is clear that we also are "that family." For us we are that family that is the noisiest at church, the ones who do "crazy" things like adopt and home school, the ones who don't have any TV channels...Anywho "we are that family." Today I attended church and bore my testimony in church and part of what I said was basically that I love the Lord and that I have a testimony and that is the only reason I go to church every Sunday. While there my children embarrass me and I hardly get to listen to a word. While there I spend the whole time trying to get my kids to listen, hoping that the latest round of primary teachers won't be thrown into retirement and hoping that the Lord loves us even if we are two seconds from tears because of all of it. I have one son who will remain nameless, but if you know me you know who I am talking about, that I worry about almost constantly. Usually I am doing all I can to reign in his affection and enthusiasm for life. It's embarrassing, it makes people uncomfortable and it makes it hard to go places. Today instead of feeling sorry for others I feel sorry for him. This is a boy who wants more than anything to be your friend. Most likely that means he will hug you and talk your ear off. When he was little people thought it was sweet, now most people (even kids his age) treat him with disdain or patronize him and act like they deserve a reward for not being outright mean. As he is growing up he is learning the lesson that not everyone wants to talk to you, not everyone wants to be your friend and enthusiasm and affection are not really OK...I am sick and sad and worried today as I think about this boy of mine...Today I feel my two options are to change my personality and quit caring what other people think and take him wherever he wants to go and quit trying to get him to be quiet and stop hugging and just let him be who he is. My second choice is to retire him from society and just let him be who he is surrounded by those of us who won't patronize him or ostracize him...I will let you know what I decide.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Making A Home

Well, we have been into our home for a couple of weeks and I have been running around like crazy trying to make it "ours". A couple of days ago I had to head back to the rental to take back the keys and as I walked through I almost started to cry knowing that it wasn't our home anymore...I couldn't figure it out. I then came back through the door of my new beautiful home and realized that while I am not blind, I can see how wonderful it is, it isn't home just yet...I am beginning to see what turns a house into a home and I thought I would share what I have learned...
#1 Homes need experiences...Let me tell you how how I knew this one...Thursday night in the middle of the night Jamen came in and calmly said he hit his head on the wall. I hugged him and told him to go back to sleep. A couple of seconds later he started running up and down the stairs and around our fireplace. I assumed he was sleep running (he does that) and asked Lyndon to wake him and take him to bed. Lyndon brought him in and turned on the light (it was 1 in the morning). When I looked up I see my little boy completely covered in blood...he had bumped it somewhere (we can't tell where the blood was everywhere) and when he felt the wet in his eyes he looked in the mirror where it was shooting out of his head into the mirror and he got scared and started running....We were lucky this round because they were able to glue it instead of stitiching it...Seeing your home lit up when you come home in the middle of the night from the ER gives you that home feeling.
#2 Homes need to have stuff that represents who you are as a family. I didn't want to put anything on the walls, I wanted everything neat clean and perfect. That lasted for a couple of days and then I started feeling like I was living in a pretty hotel. So I began hanging the things I love and bought a painting that I have always wanted and that means everything to us as a family. I hung it above my mantle, isn't it beautiful?
#3 Homes need dings, nicks and messes. Yes, you heard it from me who loves order.
#4 Homes need time. It takes time to be able to walk around in the dark without looking. It takes time to know which switches turn on what lights. We're getting there.
#5 Homes need gatherings. Jamen was baptzied today. My beautiful boy and his special day meant a whole house of family.
Anyway, I am finding what it means to have a home not just a house. I am grateful to have this place becoming our home. I really do live in paradise. I sat on my porch last night while everyone was asleep just thanking God he brought me here, and I know if we involve him this will be home before we know it.