Sunday, May 3, 2009
Get Used To It Or Retire
Sometimes blogs are for venting...this is one of those for me...I read a blog entitled "we are that family" the other day. I had to laugh at this mom because I think it is clear that we also are "that family." For us we are that family that is the noisiest at church, the ones who do "crazy" things like adopt and home school, the ones who don't have any TV channels...Anywho "we are that family." Today I attended church and bore my testimony in church and part of what I said was basically that I love the Lord and that I have a testimony and that is the only reason I go to church every Sunday. While there my children embarrass me and I hardly get to listen to a word. While there I spend the whole time trying to get my kids to listen, hoping that the latest round of primary teachers won't be thrown into retirement and hoping that the Lord loves us even if we are two seconds from tears because of all of it. I have one son who will remain nameless, but if you know me you know who I am talking about, that I worry about almost constantly. Usually I am doing all I can to reign in his affection and enthusiasm for life. It's embarrassing, it makes people uncomfortable and it makes it hard to go places. Today instead of feeling sorry for others I feel sorry for him. This is a boy who wants more than anything to be your friend. Most likely that means he will hug you and talk your ear off. When he was little people thought it was sweet, now most people (even kids his age) treat him with disdain or patronize him and act like they deserve a reward for not being outright mean. As he is growing up he is learning the lesson that not everyone wants to talk to you, not everyone wants to be your friend and enthusiasm and affection are not really OK...I am sick and sad and worried today as I think about this boy of mine...Today I feel my two options are to change my personality and quit caring what other people think and take him wherever he wants to go and quit trying to get him to be quiet and stop hugging and just let him be who he is. My second choice is to retire him from society and just let him be who he is surrounded by those of us who won't patronize him or ostracize him...I will let you know what I decide.