Wednesday, April 23, 2008
I need to confess that I could never make it through a day without good books. I have always had big dreams. I wanted to be an air force pilot desperately growing up, then I was going to be a reporter and live in New York in a high rise, then there was the dream of joining the peace corp traveling from African village to village on a moped (truth told that one still gets me!), point is I'm a dreamer. Now life turned out a little differently. I moved across the street from my mom and dad in the same town and neighborhood I grew up in, my only real travel has been to Haiti (which while extremely different than the other baby delivery's around here, it was still a baby delivery none the less). Now, I am not complaining, I love my life. I wouldn't change a bit of it. Where I am is where my Heavenly Father wants me to be, with a house full of boys, in this lovely little town, fulfilling my calling in small and simple ways. That said....thanks to books I am able to go the places I long to go to. I am able to continue to be educated as I am absolutely desperate to learn, I am able to learn lessons from people and their experiences without doing them myself...the list is long.
As many of you know I would just as soon buy books then food, shelter or clothing! I am happy to say that our little library is growing and it thrills me beyond belief to have books that I consider classics at my and my children's fingertips. There are two books that I read recently that will come to sit next to my scriptures as handbooks for raising my boys. The books are Little Men and The Anatomy of Peace.
We all have ways that work best for us to get the point our Heavenly Father is trying to make (my mom had an amazing spiritual experience while vacuuming). He often talks to me through books because he knows I am listening. I always say to him, respectfully, that I just needed the boys to come with a handbook and was that to much to ask? Well the next thing I know I am reading Little Men and I know that He wanted me to read it and apply the lessons I have learned...anyway...I am babbling now. It's a tough day here today. Sometimes I feel as if I am being pecked to death by chickens (that's motherhood in a nutshell isn't it). We have a lot on our plates right now and I am just really tired. So I think it is time to take a break from the laundry, encourage the boys to hit the trampoline and pull up a book....so many to choose from, where shall I begin?
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Today Issac woke up and said he needed an "aventure"....I could relate and so we packed a lunch and headed out for one. We decided to go to my friend Jodi's house in Koosharem. We tried to call her before we made the hour long drive, but just threw caution to the wind and went anyway....she wasn't there....it was so cold we couldn't get out of the car and so we had a picnic in her driveway. I was feeling a little bad for Issac because I was sure that this didn't qualify as an adventure, but then he set me straight. I handed him his sandwich and he started to clap, "you made peanut butter and jelly, I LOVE peanut butter and jelly!" He was thrilled to be having a picnic with mom even if it was in a car in the driveway. He was especially thrilled that I was eating PB & J too....He wanted to share that joy with me instead of me eating salad! Heading home we decided we would go the long way and stop in Sigurd and say hi to my sister and her kids. On the way Issac said he had a plan, he would ring the door bell, I would knock and Grayson would be the guy who sat and waited in the car. We carried out "the plan" but she wasn't there. I guess the adventure turned out to be flop. But the kids were happy and hopefully it said mom was willing to step away from the laundry and at least try for one!
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
April 6th marks the birth of our Savior, the beginning of the faith that means so much to me and the day that sunshine entered my life. Jamen turned seven on Sunday and what an amazing journey it has been. He let us know right from the beginning how things were going to be with him. He was going to scare us to death and bring us unbelievable joy, usually within a few minutes of each other. Pretty typically I was in labor for like a million hours and then it was finally time to deliver. Then his heart rate dropped and they decided it was probably wise to do a c-section, no rush just advisable, 5 minutes later it's a scene of ER when his heart rate drops to 20 and I am being sped down the hallway and everyone is yelling a lot. He was born blue and not breathing. The nurse (who is in our ward) knew he was going to be OK when after they had been working to bring him back for a bit he looked into her eyes and smiled....and that is my Jamen. Been like that ever since. Jamen is like a roller coaster ride and a care bear. Lots of fun in a "Jamen please get off of the roof" kind of way. Sweet and cuddly like a teddy bear. He labored to make me a note last week that says, 'mom you are the best mom in the best mom in the world." This makes conversations with him like, "mom I don't even see why I have to wear underwear. With my pants on you can't even see my little willy!" easier to deal with! In order to talk him out of a party this year (I just want to invite 60 people that's all!) We took him to Chuck E. Cheese with his brothers and cousins. He had a great time. When we gave him his little gift he yells, thanks mom and goes into a flying leap to reach me over the table to hug me. To my Jamen I couldn't imagine a life without you, I love you!!
It's sweatshirt weather and that makes me happy. When I looked outside this morning it was all rainy and foggy and I thought to myself, "I am having a real Pride and Prejudice moment." For those of you who don't know what I am talking about that is my favorite movie and it's the way it looks outside with Elizabeth goes walking only to find Mr. Darcy who declares "You have bewitched me body and soul and I love, I love you." All I needed was Kyle playing the soundtrack in the background and I would have been there....he was brushing his teeth so he wasn't really helping me out but still...I digress from my original point. I sat down with my planner on Sunday and made my week goals (as usual) and actually written in my planner is that I am only allowed to pick up 3 times per day. The rest of the time is to be spent living my life and my life is being a mom. I have been good in the past to make sure I walk around behind the messes cleaning up. If I were to die tomorrow you could write on my headstone "the picker upper lies here-she managed to have her house picked up despite being the mother of five little boys." I have decided I don't like that inscription I would rather have it say, "here lies a woman who adored her husband and her children and they knew it!" So that has been my goal for the week. We made bird feeders yesterday and I spent a great deal of time coloring a pirate. I will have to keep writing it down as I fall into the trap all to often, but that is my goal, to let go. Someday my house will be neat as a pin and clean enough to eat off of the floor. Until then you are welcome to stop by, but I wouldn't eat off the floor (unless you want the cheerios the baby dropped) and we will have to move aside a stack of books and some rescue heroes to sit down. Wish me luck on my new goal!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
As was obvious from my last post I have been one grumpy mama the last little while. I find myself wishing I was on a beach drinking something icy having a grown up conversation with my hubby....This week my dear friend who was joyously expecting twins lost both of them and is at the hospital delivering those little ones. My heart is with her today and her kids are with me. So today I have 9 kids under 9. I am always wondering what is the most important way to spend my time. I am always wanting to accomplish more and mark more off of my to do list. Today as I rock babies to sleep, make meals & snacks, clean up, make meals & snacks, tie shoes, change diapers, solve arguments, car pool to pre-school, and a hundred other things I am grateful that they are all here and safe. I know what is the most important thing in this moment and that is these 9 little people and their needs. I am grateful that when my sweet friend comes home from this horrible tragedy that she has eight little arms that are anxious to wrap their arms around her and tell her how much that they love her. I am grateful that I have little ones that need noses wiped and need me to love them. I will tell you honestly I have been trying to maintain order and have snapped at a few of the requests of me today. But, that stops right now....I have a trampoline to jump on and I am certain there are plenty of people outside that are willing to do a pile up! And to my friend today...I love you...How I wish this day wasn't happening this way for you. I can't do much but I will love your little ones until you get home and you can love them yourself. I wait for you with a hug, flowers and chocolate and just wishing there was something more I could do to ease the pain of this experience.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
I love my kids. I feel that must be said before the following words are spoken! It is bedtime at our house and while I have visions of sweet little boys all kissing me night night and then rolling over and going to sleep that still hasn't happened....Tonight I got them all tucked in and settled down to read while the little darlings fell asleep. I read in their room so I get to listen to all of the winding down. This sounds like a bunch of monkeys hopped up on caffeine pills...So I sat down with "And Then There Was Light" and I am being inspired by this patient mother who helps her blind son succeed in the world..."Mom, I need to pee!" Screams Jamen. "You already went." "I need to pee!" Screams Grayson. "You are wearing a diaper." "But, I need to go!" I scoop him out of bed and take him potty. While putting the diaper back on Jamen says "Grayson say you don't want a diaper!" "I don't want a diaper" screams Grayson kicking. Jamen gets the lecture (again) about not telling people what to say and especially when it causes trouble. Mom settles down again. "RUFF RUFF" "Mom, Grayson is pretending he is a dog!" "Will you boys just settle down, that's the last warning and then I am going upstairs!" Things settle for 2.5 seconds. In the quiet I say, "I am sorry I was frustrated, I love you boys sleep well." "Mom can we all get out of bed and hug you so that we will feel better?" "Jamen, I have hugged you 6 times just blow me a kiss." Issac says, "when you are fustated you are following Satan's plan." "I know Issac I will try harder to follow Jesus' plan...." I guess Jesus' plan on teaching me not to get "fustated" is to have plenty of chances to have my patience tried...