I am in that awkward "first date" stage of living in Monroe. I am trying to make new friends and establish myself as a reliable one here. This is a tough stage to be in. Forget all of the embarassing things my kids do and say (that's a whole 12 posts all by itself), I am a bumbling idiot! So this is written in an effort to shed all my awkwardness on you and I have hopes that it will somehow "fix" me. I kick myself for going to book groups and talking too much and saying the most insensitive things. We have been having new friends over whenever we have a chance and after they leave I remember the fly strips are still dangling from the ceiling and the dumb things I said linger in my mind like a song that won't leave. I also have a tendency to handle things with sarcasm and silliness. This worked wonders as a teen because that's how my friends dealt with things. But, I am seeing that grown ups just don't seem to approach things in this way. Then there is visiting teaching. I believe this to be one of the most important things we have been asked to do. Some of my dearest friends have come from the Lord matching me up with them and I really think of it as one of his many tender mercies. But, starting from scratch is so hard! Do I take cookies or lotion? Do you want us here or are we a burden to you, how do we not be a burden but a help? Anywho, the list is long of things my mind runs over and over. I feel I should just send out a public notice "WARNING: I will offend you, but please note that I don't mean to. I want so much to be your friend and will continually say dumb things that I don't mean to say. However, if you stick it out in just a few short years (Erin how long you been hanging in there, like 15?) you will know I didn't mean it that way!" Wish me luck on this, until further notice I remain the village idiot.
13 comments:
good luck! I feel your pain as I often times cringe when recalling myself in social situations :(
I feel the EXACT same way and I've been living here for almost 10 years now... I'm always paranoid and beating myself up after social situations because of the 'I should have been more quiet' or 'I shouldn't have said that!' kind of thoughts! I almost avoid social situations because of it, but that doesn't help either... : )
I too am the village idiot!! Always putting my foot in my mouth! Hang in there people will see you for the great person that you really are! I saw that in just a few short days getting to know you last year!
I still use sarcasim and silliness! I can relate to meeting new people--we have a huge ward and I thought everyone here were snobs when we moved in, but the Lord does provide for our needs and I have made some lasting friendships!
At least you get the chance at a social situation!!!
Could I copy and paste this onto my blog, just changing the town to R-field and oh yeah, I've been here 10 years!
I love your bookclub comments. You better be at the next one because it's at my house. Could I borrow some fly tape?
Heather you are just fine. No need to worry about it. Really you are so funny and cute. If people can't love you for you then you don't need them. I miss seeing you and talking. Man my life is so busy... but it is all great times. It's sad I only get to see you when I just happen to run into you:( Hope to run into you soon. LOL EM
Like I said, thats what REAL friends are for.....saying what you need to say and believe me they don't mind. Visiting teachers are good to have...
oh you silly girl. you are not the village idiot! and nobody can be offended unless they choose to be, so if they are it is their own fault not yours. anyway, despite that, i totally do understand what you are saying and i think you are great because you care and you try. i just do my thing and people can choose to take me or leave me. haha. that must be why i'm alone so much. :)
Heather,
You are adorable and the "Monroites" are not perfect either. They will appreciate you for who you are and for what a great friend you are. If they dont never fear I will be happy to have you here in my town any day.
In fact I have given up on making new friends. My old ones work gret for me and I dont have to call and apologize to them...well not very often anyways.
The only time I was offended was when you implied that people near 40 years of age are old. I'm still getting the bitterness out of my soul.
You may just be mistaking that, what-did-you-just-say-look as one of offense when really it's just shock that something true and real was just said instead of the usual meaningless prattle we're accustomed to. But after the shock wears off, lots of love is left.
p.s. I'm in the same boat here, excep it for I'm too insensitive to even realize the stupid things I've said.
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