Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Until I Can See The End
I try to write when I feel upbeat and ready to take on the world. I really try to write when I think that something I say will be positive and worth reading in the future. I am not sure that is what this post will be like today. Last time I talked about the importance of looking ahead and not staring at the road. Today I feel certain that I should be looking ahead but can't seem to lift my eyes from the road! I mentioned that while I yearn to simplify it seems impossible. As of late because of the busy I feel like all I do is only half done. Those of you who know me well know this is unacceptable to me. Yesterday I was thinking to myself, "Ok we made it through the day, not great but not bad" at that exact moment my son walked in with half his arm pointing north and the other half going south...we spent the evening in the ER getting the broken arm taken care of. They can't cast it for 10 days...the doctor says, "it will be fine, just make sure he is really careful until the cast is on." Easy for him to say, have you met Jamen? Short of keeping him home from school for 10 days and staring at him constantly I am not sure it is even possible not to plan on it breaking again. Today alone, "mom I just want to climb this tree, I will be fine. It's a little bike, not a big one I will just pop one wheelie...I already rested (for 21 seconds) so I am going to just go sit on the trampoline..."
I am reading John Adams by McCullough (I highly recommend it). I am at the part where Adams and Jefferson and most of the other members of congress are exhausted. They have signed and celebrated the Declaration of Independance and now they are mired down by the daily to do's of making this country what it is. When we moved here I felt as if the big changes that needed to happen were before us and it was monumental. Now, I feel mired down by the daily to do's that hopefully will shape these boys into the men they are supposed to be. I can only hope that one day, like Adams, I can look back and smile at this time and know it was all worth it. Wish me luck...